4 Yr Old Swim Class Drama!

It seems like she is frightened of her teacher for some reason. Is it possible...never mind, why go there. But I'd listen to her. She needs you to protect her and she might not understand why she is frightened or she might be afraid to tell you. If she plays with you in the pool, then it's not water she's afraid of.

I'd find another class, and once she feels safe try to ask her why she didn't like that class.

Good luck to you.

Go with your instinct, take her out now. I think that teacher is wrong, and she may be pressuring or making your daughter feel bad about not being ready when you are not listening. At 4, you want them to learn to love playing in the water. Not everyone is ready to put their face in at the same time. Take the summer off from lessons, just bring her to the pool for fun. Maybe try lessons again in a year or two with a different teacher, or at a different pool. I would tell your daughter you are going to take a little break, and just go swimming for fun.

I was in this sort of situation often as a child. I was extremely cautious (still am, actually), rather shy and timid, and my mother would have none of it. So I was always being pushed to do things at a faster pace than I felt prepared for. If left to my own devices, I would have achieved many or perhaps all of my mother's goals, but weeks or even years later. I often challenged myself to do things that scared me when my mom wasn't around pushing. But I remember many agonizing situations that left me unwilling to go on with an activity, and years of enduring my mom's disappointment and judgement.

You might try just affirming that your child is worried about putting her face in water. Tell her it's a common fear, and almost every kid who she sees playing with their faces under water was probably afraid at first. So they all found their own ways to experiment until they found out they could do it. Ask her if she has any ideas about how she might learn this on her own. She might surprise you with her originality.

Find out more about how to use this approach in the wise and practical book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk. You can read part of it here: http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/038081...

Well that is what swim teachers say.
My daughter went to swim classes too.
Until she wanted to try something else.
Dance classes.

Its really up to you... you make her go, or not.
She is so young, and either way... you make her plug through it... and maybe she will calm down... or not.
All kids being different.
You can always re-visit her swim classes later.
Or make her still go.
Kids go through that. Each parent dealing with it differently.
But keep expectations, age-appropriate.

When I was a child, I had to, go to piano lessons. I HATED it. I would run away, when it was time for my lessons. I ran away outside and would hide. I got nothing out of it. My parents made me go... to build character and learning not to give up etc. But that is something that older kids comprehend more. Me, I learned to just hate it more. It was not my thing. Still isn't, as an adult.

maybe it is something about the lessons that she does not like. Because if it is just casual playing in a pool.. you said she likes it and has fun and is not scared. So talk with her.... see 'why'... she does not like the lessons. Per say.

Or, maybe find another swim school. Or a one-on-one type lesson.
Or, teach her yourself, at the pool.
My sister taught me how to swim.
No formal classes needed.

Ditto SA Mamma H.

all the best,
Susan

Our teacher had me drop my son off and walk away to an area he couldn't see me for a few classes. I knew her fairly well and felt comfortable with doing this. It worked like a charm! When I wasn't paying attention he wasn't crying to get my attention.
Sometimes though kids do just need a break. Maybe not a month or two because they lose track of time quickly but a week or two may do the trick if you feel that would help.
Just some ideas. Good luck!

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My 4 year old daughter did the same thing too. She love and enjoying swimming but when her swim teacher left and she had a new swim teacher, she was fine for the 1st two weeks. Then all of a sudden, she didn't want to go and would cried when we dropped her off. I kept asking her why she didn't want to go swimming and she told me that she didn't want to swim with Corina (her new swim teacher) and I asked her why. She told me that Corina did let her swim by herself and it wasn't fun anymore. I then changed her swim teacher and she back to her old self again. She enjoy and look forward to her swim class. I think with my daughter, she needed a teacher that know how to make swim lesson fun.

My son went through the same thing. Tell the teach about some of your daughters likes and interests and those can be brought up during class. My son would only allow one teacher to work with him and she also brought him a blue sucker every class, bribing is horrible I know but it worked for us and my son didnt eat the suckers anyway. Hang in there and the key is to not quite, that will set up problems later on in life. She can get through this and you can also. Good Luck

Hello K.,
I have been teaching swimming for about 15 years now. and taking a short break won't hurt as long as you keep her going to the water. The main thing is that you want her to have fun while she is learning and if she isn't having any fun then she is going to learn to hate the water, which isn't any good for either of you. Try taking a session off then try again, but have her at the pool during your break from class and play and practice with her yourself. Sometimes that can make the world of difference. If you have any more questions feel free to email me. I hope this helps.

J.

I think you should take a break. BUT you and her go to the pool or another pool. The summer is here so let your new memories replace the old ones and start up swimming lessons next year or wait until the fall. Kids have short term memories.

I see both sides. It will get more difficult with each year that passes. Just keep that in mind. Good luck whatever you decide!

I think keeping the lessons up is a good thing, but trust your gut. I know for a fact that the older you get, the more scary swim lessons become. If she knows that swim lessons are coming up in a few months she will probably worry all the way until then. I started my swim lessons at 4. I had them every summer until 8 years old, and I honestly knew how to swim at 8, but remember HATING to go although I didn't give my mother any trouble. Try to get her past the fear earlier. The sooner the better. Good luck!!

I would take her if it were my child.

When I did gymnastics, my biggest limitation was my mind. I started later (12) and already had fears and inhibitions other kids didn't have (those who started earlier).

I could physically do things but let my mind trick me. If we did a new trick, and it went badly, the coach immediately made us do it again to prevent the fear from taking over.

It sounds like, for some reason, your daughter has developed a fear that she can't articulate, and I agree with the teacher that it needs to be confronted now instead of letting her have a break for a few months and lose all the positive momentum she's gained. If it were my child, I would have them go. I'd leave or be in a place where she couldn't see me. Remember that they deal with this all the time and have ways to divert attention and refocus kids to get them back on track.

Good luck.

Learning to swim is important. It's a skill that may save her life someday.

That said, if she suddenly had this reaction to going to preschool, would you take her out? Probably not. Some things, kids just need to deal with, whether or not they love it.

Would it help if you got her goggles? One of my daughters hated swimming lessons until we got her goggles, and then she was as happy as she could be! I couldn't believe something so simple turned things around so quickly. Maybe it will work for your daughter too? Good luck...

Last summer, I signed my daughter (at the time, 4 almost 5 years old) up for swimming lessons at our town pool. It was 2 weeks of pure misery. She did not cry, but almost screamed about even going into the water let alone putting her face in it to even blow bubbles. And she LOVES to go swimming (with a life jacket on) and a couple of her friends were in the class. It was a nightmare!! The instructor told me to just leave and they would take care of it. Not happening! We worked our way through the 2 weeks of misery.
2 weeks later she was a friends house swimming under water with no problems. She still loves the water. Now a whole year later, she cannot wait to take swim lessons. The instructor did mention that she prefers kids to be 5 when they sign up for lessons, but will take them at 4, but seems much more drama and crying when they are 4. No idea why it makes a difference, but it does.
It does not hurt to quit the lessons and pick them up later. Personally, I think you could make it worse by forcing her to do something that clearly makes her upset like it already is.