My 4 year old has a sweet personality of his own but when playing with other kids(his friends or kids he meets in the park for just few mins) he tends to copy/imitate what they do.
He is a very social kid and loves playing with other kids. But then he picks one of them as his fav and follows them around in the park , does exactly what that kid does. As in the kid jumps - my son jumps too, he then stops and laughs, my son does the same, that kid runs to his mom and my kid runs to his, that kid screams for his dad, my son screams for his .... you know where I am going with this.
So far nobody has complained or not sure if anyone has actually noticed, but my husband and I have numerous times ever since he was maybe 2 or 3 years old.
I don't mind my son doing the same thing the others are upto, but he seems to copy every action n reaction. He is great when he plays alone and his concept of playing with friends is doing whatever they do. I have tried telly him not to copy, some kids might not like it but he doesn't get it yet.
So my question is this common behaviour for kids at his age? Will he outgrow on his own? I am not sure if I tell him anything or not. I have mentioned once or twice but never made a big deal of it, I don't want him to start feeling very conscious when hei s playing with other kids.
And if this behaviour is not common, and not something they will just outgrow on their own... any suggestions how to get him stop copying even though he thinks it's a lot of fun.
Thanks in advance..
My 4yo does it too. And sometimes we will get a whole line of them playing follow the leader. It's normal. :)
It's a stage and they DO out grow it eventually.
Our son sometimes copied everything I said - he was having fun while I was getting annoyed.
So I started saying things I didn't mind hearing "M.'s always right" and he'd copy it over and over before I'd start tickling him.
He got over it within 6 months.
He was 9 yrs old before he eventually told M. I was wrong about something.
Wow! I was right for a whole 9 years! I'd had a pretty good run and couldn't complain!
My son does this sometimes, not as much now that he's 5. I think it's completely normal behavior. My son is a little shy, and I used to notice him doing this around kids he didn't know as well. I really don't notice him doing it when he has a friend that he knows over. My son is very nice and sweet, and I do notice that he'll play along with pretty much anything and it does seem that the other kid usually takes the lead. It's just part of his personality right now. The important thing for M. is that if he doesn't like the other kid or what's being played, he avoids it and does his own thing.
Normal. Copying others is the way a preschooler learns. He is learning how others play as well as they feel. You could help him branch out some by guiding the play. Before he starts to follow start him playing in a way that others could join in. If no one does, look for a child who is playing alone. Invite him to join you. This has happened often when I've had my grandson on the playground. That child's parent may join you but I rarely see the parent pull their child away. I have seen both parents help the kids to learn how to play together. I'm not so active on the playground so I appreciate the other parents involvment.
Ky grandson loves to play let's chase each other. I help them to change roles or to mix it up some with running to the swings to swing. I watch to see that the other kid(s) want to stay involved. You could intervene when you see your son following another child by suggesting the other one do what your son does.
Another thought. Perhaps you son is shy and it's easier to play this game than to think of what to do on his own. If so, having you mix it up would be helpful.
At four and five and six, kids are learning to assimilate with their peer groups. So, whatever the dominant form of play, even if you have never seen him do it before, will likely be imitated at some point. It doesn't mean that he's not his own person, he's doing what kids do at this age, finding more connections with peers and trying to fit in, as it were. You'll also see this through Kindergarten and younger primary grades.
Eventually, what will happen is that kids will work out their own stories or 'scripts' for how they play as they mature and it will be less direct copying and more about the kids doing their own version of the 'cool' thing. And by cool, I do not mean "cool with you, mom" but what gives everyone the giggles. Up until the last few months of kindergarten, my son didn't really know that potty humor existed, and now everything is 'toots and burps' to be honest. He's seven. This is how he's fitting in with his peers. FWIW, I do think there's an element of 'lowest common denominator' with some of the stuff (they may not all like to play legos or video games, they may not all have the same toys, but they can all make fart jokes).
Girls, too, will sometimes imitate behavior, esp.t he behavior of the dominant girl in the group. (File this under "observed first grade girl power plays.) Overall, unless the behavior I'm seeing needs boundaries (as in "you can do that at home but not at church") or is unkind/harmful to others, I just let the copying part go. If it is problematic, we talk about the effect it is having on others and next steps ("if I see that you are Charlie are teasing Mabel again, we are leaving.") .
Try thinking of it like this: He's trying on different personalities and actions; seeing what "fits" him best. Aren't we all a combination of who we know? I remember coming to the realization of my personality being a little bit of the people around M. combined with my own traits. My best friend in high school had this awesome laugh. Well, I realized some years later that I had adopted that laugh. I don't think what your kiddo is doing is bad at all... he's just imitating til he finds his own niche. It's a way humans learn who they are. I'd just take a deep breath and not try to draw attention to it unless it became unbearable. If no other adults have noticed, then maybe you're just a bit over-aware.
Your son is doing his own version of "Follow the Leader," I think. If he were ten, his playmates would be annoyed, because he would be teasing them. Apparently the children your son follows are not annoyed, and he's not doing any teasing.
All other things being equal, I believe he will grow out of this and find other things to do for fun - but you can just imagine how much he's learning as he puts himself in someone else's shoes in this way! If he decides to be an actor when he grows up, he'll do more of this learning/copying - but in a subtler way.
He will outgrow I have 2 boy and girl, they both imitate what's on T.V. when I take them to parks. The best thing to do is separate him if is bad if isn't then talk him out.
It's normal. He'll grow out of it.
