My 5Yo Is Mean & Disrespectful to Me...

When my kids are like that I stop, look at them and say 'excuse me. Would you like me to talk to you that way?' No. I then ask them to try again.

I have also told them to march their buns and their attitudes out the door to the back porch. Where they are allowed to scream, kick, jump, etc. Then when they have it out of their system (about 5 mins) they are allowed to come back in. If they STILL want to be rude, then they go up to their room for time out without tv.

I'm a bit of a passive agressive $h!t myself. I would correct my child while this kid and my kid are together behaving badly. And I would say why. No, sweetie, we don't play rough like that because someone will get hurt. In that way, you are modeling good parenting to your neighbor friend and correcting your child at the same time. The mom will get the point that this behavior is not acceptable in polite company and hopefully start correcting her own child for it.

My son started acting this way when he was 5 also. Boy, did he suddenly turn into a smart mouth. We decided to give him immediate consequences for when he was rude to us. We talked to him about his behavior and told him what we would be doing (time out in room, loss of privileges). We became very black and white with him and no longer put up with ANY sassy talk. I did not give him warnings. I did not count to 3. If he had a rude tone of voice he went to his room. This meant a LOT of time outs at first. At the same time we started going super overboard with praise for when he was being good. It worked great and I'm happy to say he is a much much sweeter boy now.

Don't bring up the boy at all. Take the focus off him. Instead of pointing out his bad behavior, tell your daughter "Some kids push (for example) other kids. You aren't allowed to push other kids." Explain to her what will happen if you see her copying bad behavior.

And then, when you are out w/them, say at the park, if you see her pushing someone she will have to sit out for a minute or 2, no matter where you are.

If she keeps it up and won't listen to you, then keep her w/you, even if it means the kids have to play right next to you. If they act up, then address daughter, not him, even if its in front of his mother.

If she does actually stay with you and he keeps bugging her to leave you, tell him she has to stay by you for a while b/c she keeps pushing other kids. If you have to, pull out something she can entertain herself w/while she is with you.

Believe me, your kid will stop behaving badly and disrespecting you when she seesyou won't allow her to keep copying him.

I would let her know that she needs to be respectful or she will not play with him for a certain amount of time like lets say a day. If his Mom asks why just say because you daughter is not acting respectful. May be in that conversation just causually bring up the fact that you think kids need to listen to their parents and not be disrepectful. Your neighbor may let him do what ever he wants because she does not want to deal with it and also it is part of their age. When he goes home and they do not act correctly then take something away that she likes whether it be a toy or a favorite movie. Let her know you mean business and you are the boss. That is the most important thing.Best of luck

I would tell my kids if they acted like him again it was over, and that's it. I don't think you can fully blame the neighbor boy because since you weren't able to stop it dead in the tracks as soon as they did it, they think it is okay. They go to their room, lose their toys, no TV, no dessert, whatever it is that makes them happy goes away if they are disrespectful. Even with my 4 year old it only takes a look and he knows he messed up big time. Rarely happens. Disrespect is not tolerated in my house. My kids know that the neighbor kids are VERY bad and rude to their parents, the neighbor kids also know if they are like that to me they are no longer welcome in my home or around my kids. I just make it a well known fact that I won't put up with it. And I have no problems telling the parents of the bad kids that the behavior is not welcome in my home...I had a rude girl over playing with my daughter and I told her mom and she tried to play it off as she was shy...it as not shy, it was disrespect. She hasn't been invited back.

water torture? =) obviously i'm in a silly mood....don't concentrate on the boy, concentrateon their behaviour...no playing outside, thorwing out a toy, time out/?

I am often in a similar situation and it's very hard. What I do is just go the route of--my rules are this... and I expect this... sort of stuff. The key to discipline for some kids (and adults) is how to be okay when others aren't. This is a very hard thing for a lot of people to do, but it's a skill that everyone has to master. Eve if the the other child started something I try and tell my child what I expect her to do in a situation such as this and if she can't do it then she has a consequence. I think the key is to not put them in those situations all the time b/c it's not fair. I know you're not doing that and I know sometimes it will happen, but you may have to distance yourself from your friend, just a little bit, so your kid doesn't get the short end of the stick every time.

Respond immediately with consequences, not just explanations of why that behavior is not allowed. Immediately send each child to her room and briefly say why. Take away privileges immediately - don't just tell her she can't play with Billy tomorrow if she acts that way today. The time delay is too much, and it's harder for the 3 year old.

If Billy plays too aggressively, immediately take your children home and say this play is too rough. He'll figure out that play dates end when he does this. If it's your house, he needs to abide by your rules. Tell him he needs to stop or the play date is over, and send him home while you take your own children into their rooms.

And you can limit your dates with them even though they live next door. It sounds like you don't much care for her in anything other than limited interaction anyway. If she wants to get together, tell her that your children are not being allowed a play date due to disrespectful behavior. Keep repeating it. You don't have to cut that boy down, but you absolutely have to step in and say what you will allow your children to do and not do.

You need to take away something that your children care about. It has to be a toy or a privilege that you can implement right at that second. When my son was disobedient, all his toys came out of his room. Period. We left books and his special blanket/stuffed animals, but all the other stuff was banned until he earned it back.

I'm not sure what you will lose if this friendship suffers a bit - the kid is no good for your kids, and the mother doesn't rein him in, and you don't have a high tolerance for her. So exactly why are you continuing? Find some other activities and friends for a couple of days per week. Go swim in the lake, take a nature hike, go to story hour at the library, invite someone else over, and so on. There's no need to tie your social life to a bad situation.

I know your kids are still pretty little, but they are still old enough to understand that you are their mother & you set the rules for them. Your friend is their friend's mother & she sets the rules for him. Just because he is allowed to x, y & z, that doesn't mean that they are also allowed to act that way. It may make it easier if you spend most of the time with them at YOUR house so that way it's easier to enforce your rules, even to the other kid.

Kids understand a whole lot more than we give them credit for most of the time. They won't like it, but it's up to you to enforce it.

It's hard to be friends with parents when the kids play and do not always play nice!!! I have a friend in my neighborhood who's son plays with mine. My son is 4.5 and his friend is 6. Me and the mom, I'd consider us friends, have both talked a number of times about challenging behavior we see in our own children. So, there have been a number of times we've planned to get together then either my son or hers did something to get in trouble and we'll tell them, sorry, no playing with your friend today. In fact last Sunday we were going to have an indoor play time since it's been extremely hot. About 10 mins before the mom called and said, "please tell your son I'm so sorry as it's not fair to him but my son was being really disrespectful so he can't come over and play." I used it as a 'teachable moment' for my son telling him his friend was in trouble and that he couldn't come and play but we'd do something together........

If your daughter acts disrespectful use the punishment of not being able to play with the child for however many days. Then allow her to play with him, see what the result is and if she acts that way again tell her she won't get to play for however much time you decide. You could simply tell your friend "my daughter was being disrespectful and as punishment cannot play today."

My son tried that just once.
I asked him why he thought he could talk to me like that.
"Well other kids do it."
Well - you are not other kids.
If everyone jumps off a cliff are you going to do it too?
We behave nicely to each other in this household/family and if you can't help yourself in imitating a bad example, then maybe you should not play with people who act that way until you are strong enough to know not to copy them.

We have a similar situation. My hubby has friends he has known forever. Their son is the same age as ours but acts aggressivly, at two he is pulling a choke hold on my son every time his back is turned. The parents do not discipline him and so I have told them that until they work on their child's behavior, we will not be bringing our son over to play. Plain and simple. My hubby is upset about this, but I know that when you surround your child with good kids who are raised in a similar way, with similar standards of behavior, everybody wins. If your friend cant deal with that, and doesnt make an effort to correct the problem, then you are better off not being around them anyway.

ouch. Neighbor stuff is difficult--sorry for you. Since you don't feel comfortable cutting them off I will recommend a book to help you. Loving Your Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk
Good luck!

I would not worry about 'cutting the little neighbor sh*t down'... when he does something rude or aggressive - you need to step in and say to your children loud enough for that child and his Mom to hear - that the behavior he's showing is not acceptable and they had better not copy his behavior. Then say if either he or they continue that behavior - you will take them inside for the rest of the day and they cannot play together for 2 days. Or something along those lines.

You are being very passive about it and that will not change their behavior or attitudes.