4 Year Old Won't Stay in Bed All Night

My oldest was 5 before he started sleeping in his own bed all night. There just was not enough room for all 4 of us in the bed! :) I had the sleep fairy come and bring him a treat under his pillow if he stayed in his bed the whole night. It worked great! After about 2 weeks it became routine. The sleepy fairy moved on to help other boys and girls!

I believe I'm coming at this from a different perspective. My husband and I have always had an "open door" policy. Our boys (almost 3 and 5 1/2) begin the night in their bed 99% of the time, and if they wake up in the middle of the night, we just pick them up and put them in bed with us.

So my question for you is, is this a problem for you because picking her up and putting her in bed with you would be disruptive to your (or your husband's) sleep? Or is it a problem for you because "That's just not the way it's supposed to be?" If it's the later, perhaps you could consider the possibility that there isn't really a "problem" exactly. You're all getting enough sleep. She's just sleeping in your bed instead of hers.

Our boys go through phases of coming in to our bed. Most nights, it's just the two of us. I was off for a month for winter break and just started back to work last week. Our youngest has been in our bed a bit lately, and my husband strongly believes that it's because he is transitioning back to going to daycare and just really wants to feel close to us. I think he's right. Our oldest hardly ever comes into our bed ... only when he has a bad dream, and even then he usually goes back to sleep in his own bed.

Try not to worry about setting a bad habit. Habits can be broken, and kids really do go through phases. Right now she needs you. Maybe she can't express her emotions well. Maybe she's not fully aware of what's bothering her and she's just trying to come up with excuses so that you'll comfort her.

Comfort her. Reassure her. Meet her emotional needs. Try not to focus on the fact that she's asking for emotional support at night, and respond as you would if it were daytime. Do what you can to be there for her now, and she really will grow out of this phase and begin sleeping through the night in her own bed.

I guess I'm of the opinion, who cares where everyone sleeps as long as everyone sleeps.

Hang in there! This too shall pass.

This is part of having kids. Our 8 yr old still comes in occasionally and wants to snuggle in with us. I just let her and we sleep and no one is tired in the morning.

Four-year-olds do that! One of my granddaughters got up at night for a while and walked around the house. Her parents asked her why, and she said, "I like to see what the house looks like in the dark." They told her she mustn't make noise or wake anybody when she walked around. (They also double-checked that she couldn't unlock the back door, in case she ever wanted to see what the neighborhood looked like in the dark!)

You could try telling her that you love her and you'll be there for her when she needs you, but all she can do in the night is come in to say hello, and then she needs to go right back to bed herself. She might find that an interesting little game for a while, and you won't need to do more than wake up halfway.

Next time you're at the library, see if you can find BEDTIME FOR FRANCES by Russell and Lillian Hoban. It's an oldie but a goodie - about a little badger who can't seem to sleep either.

a suggestion that I did for alittle while was put a sleeping bag on the floor in my room and when my daughter came in during the night she could sleep on the floor not in bed with me. It lasted alittle while and then stopped but my kids go throught phases of getting up during the night. Good luck

I am going brought that too!
I thought it had something to do with potty training because is when I notice it got bad, but she is 3 and complete potty trained (she is still using diapers at night and had have very few incidents).
She use to sleep on the same room with her sister (she is 13 now)and I always worried that she would wake up her so I just keep going there to stop the cry.
So now it has become a habit hard to break.
I have try just bring her back to her bed without saying anything but that doesn't seem to be working.
I thought about time out but I have the feeling that just would wake her up and me too.
I don't want to lock her door because of safety reasons.
But I have being thinking to close my door instead,if she comes and say she is in pain, I would open the door and see what is going on out side my door, without letting her in, and if nothing is wrong "send" her back to her room on her own.
I will keep an eye to see if there is other option, other ways I would let you know if this way works.

Hello! My four year old does the same thing. The first time he wakes up I can put him back into bed and he will go right back to sleep. Then he shows up a few hours later and wants to climb in bed with me to cuddle. I told him that the rule of the house is is that he is not to wake us until the first number on the clock is a six and I put a sleeping bag with a pillow on the floor next to me. He can come in and lay in there until we are all awake. Most of the time he ends up falling back to sleep for a little while which is nice. It has worked really well, although there have been a few mornings where he insists on being in bed with me but I don't give in. Good luck and I hope you find something that works for you.
Take care,
K.

Talk to her. Tell her that she cannot keep coming in and waking you up. Everyone needs a good nights sleep to have a happy next day. Ask her what would make her stay in her room. Does she want a flashlight? Night light. It sounds like she really just wants to be with you and if you are staying then she has no reason to stop coming to get you. Have the conversation during the day at a calm time. I hear that you do not want your 2 year old to wake up, but you may need to carve out a night or two where your 4 year old might cry and wake everyone up to end this unwanted behavior.

A good nights sleep to you,
B. Davis
http://www.ChildAndFamilyCoaching.com
Because nothing is more important than family

my 6 year old has always had terrible sleep habits. in the last year, at least she puts herself back to bed most nights (last night I had to take her). Its always something, if nothing else to go to the bathroom. I just do what I have to to get her back to bed. I don't spend more than 30 seconds or so at her bedside. Most times. :) Sometimes when she is noticably upset (bad dream, scared) I let her sleep on the floor next to our bed. Its a good compromise.

My 4 year old is a great sleeper and rarely wakes up to go potty at night. Even when my daughter has had crying fits at night, he sleeps through it.

Just keep it short and keep encouraging her. you most likely can tell the difference with her whether she needs extra love from mom or is just trying to get out of bed. :) Also, get some monster spray (spray bottle with water) and hang a dream catcher and if you are a prayer, say prayers at night time for good dreams. We do all of these in our house when needed. :) Whatever it takes for mommy to sleep!!!