Getting Kids to Sleep in Their Own Beds!

The thing that worked for us: Bunk Beds. They want snuggle buddies too. Many people think this is wrong. I think If I am an adult and sleep next to someone, a child must feel the same way. So a bunk bed helped them stay in their own bed. Now they actually sleep in the same bunk and I am fine with that. They can cuddle up together and not bother us. They still come in once in a while and we walk them back to their own bed. Good luck.

Hi L.,
We went through this also. We did co-sleeping with our boys from the time they were infants and then eventually moved them to their own rooms. It was a very gradual process and took patience. But, they are now 7 and 4 and quite good sleepers. What we did is we moved them to their own rooms and I would lay with them until they fell asleep (usually I fell asleep too and hubby would come wake me up) and they would sometimes make it through the night and other times they would wake up and come to our bed. When they came to our bed in the middle of the night, we would walk them back to their bed, get them tucked in and then lay I would lay on the floor in their room so they knew I was there, but I didn't get back into bed with them in the middle of the night and I didn't let them get into bed with me either. Once they fell asleep, I would go back to my bed (no danger of me falling alseep on the hard floor) and this usually only took 5-10 minutes. Rarely did they get up again during that same night. When you are going through the process, it seems like it will never end, but, it does...and then you miss it. As crazy as that sounds to you now....cherish it, you will miss it! :)

Patience! We have 4 children and they have all slept with us as babies and toddlers. We moved them out of our bed once the next baby came. Like potty training it takes persistance and isn't always easy, but they will get it.

Our youngest just turned 2 and sleeps with us now. When he was born we needed to get our daughter out of our bed for space. We promised her that if she fell asleep in her own bed for 10 nights and stayed there all night then she would get a princess room. This really built her confidence. My husband always put her to sleep and until recently he or I had to stay with her until she was sleeping. At the beginning we had many nights where we ended up with an extra in bed with us, but she doesn't do that anymore, unless she's scared from a dream or something.

Her princess room cost us about $150.00 for paint, curtains, princess decals, and a bed spread at Walmart. Well worth it to us. She loves her room.

We've done something like this for every child and all my children have healthy sleep habits and can put themselves to sleep. Don't expect it to happen overnight. It's normal to want to be near mommy and daddy. When we tried to pull away and not stay with her at night when she was falling asleep then she was much more likely to wake up and end up in bed with us. She needed to feel secure that we were close by. She knew we didn't stay with her all night, but just like us there as she was falling asleep. I remember being the same way when I was little.

Good Luck!

Hi L.,

I'm not sure how old your kids are, but mine went through that stage when they were 3 & 5. We used a reward chart as stated previously. They had just gone to Build-a-Bear and created a bear. Their reward after 10 days of staying in their own beds was that we would purchase each of their bears a new outfit. They didn't get 10 days in a row, but within three weeks they reached their goal and did pretty well there-after with staying in their beds.

Good luck!

J.

I had that same problem with my second child,my first was a girl and she always slept like a dream, he was the worst sleeper I have ever heard of lol, didn't sleep through the night more than once or twice a month untill he was 2 than was good for like a week and than came the waking up and crawling in be with us,every night, I tried everything and anything, rewards explaining that he was too big and we were squeezing daddy out of bed. he just would not fall asleep on his own or stay in his own room and bed.I still don't know what happand but4 months ago after I had my 3rd son I went and cleaned his room for him clean sheets and a new bed set and after a puppy dog look at me, he said he would try and has been doing it ever since..I forgot to mention that he is almost 7 years old!!!!! it took 6and ahalf years to get him to sleep in his bed!!!!I he was just emotionaly ready to grow up and stay there by himself,or the fact that he finially got it in his head after his brother was born that he was a big brother now and didnt want to act like a baby anymore.I geuss i'm just so glad that he is and I only have one to wake me up in the middle of the night now and I pray every night quietly to myself so my 1st son can't hear lol" please God don't let Cooper sleep like his brother"

I am a single mom and have been fighting this with my son for 6 of his 8 years. Most nights he is in his own bed FINALLY. He now understands that mom needs her space and private time as well as her own bed for a good nights sleep. One thing I tried and seemed to work, with my son is reading "Macy the Sleep Fairy." It's a cute little book, written by someone at the Med Center I believe. I learned the hard way, you have to do what you say and stick to what you say you are going to do for it to make any difference.

I'm not sure how old your kids are? If they are old enough, you could try a reward system. Make a chart for each child and for each night they stay in their own bed all night they get to put a sticker on their chart. Eventually working up to some kind of reward after a certain number of nights in a row successfully staying in their own rooms.

As for falling asleep on their own. This may take a bit of time since they're used to having you there. You could start with sitting in a chair in their room while they fall asleep. Each night moving the chair closer to the door and eventually outside of their room. Good luck!

I would suggest first trying to get them to fall asleep on their own by just sitting in their room with them (gradually closer to the door, then just outside, etc.). Both of my kids went through the stage of waking up and coming to our room; I invested in a kids-sized pull out couch to put in our room for them to sleep on if they woke up. A sleeping bag or make-shift bed on the floor would probably work too. Eventually they got sick of it and now stay all night in their own beds! Good luck.

I've heard of leaving an air mattress in your room next to your bed and telling the kids that if they wake up in the night, they can come in your room and sleep there. That way they are not waking you up. Might be worth a try...

I am assuming they share the same room. My kids are the same age and have always shared a room. It is great that way. Get a bigger mattress, put it in their room (on the floor) and have them sleep in it together. At night, lay in it between them and read them stories. Get them some Webkinz to sleep with and tell them they can do Webkinz on the computer before school for 10 minutes in the morning if they go to sleep right after saying goodnight to Mommy!!! Hey but if you find yourself cosleeping with them, remember--it is perfectly normal and healthy.

Hi L.,

There are things in life we need to choose what we want our children to do...and this is one of them. It's not their choice where they sleep, it is yours. My children slept in their own beds from day one...of course, every once in awhile you would wake-up and there they would be, so they got sent or carried back to their bed and were told to stay there. You will all have a better day if you all get a good night's rest. I do think it is always nice to snuggle in the morning, in Mom and Dad's bed, once it is time for everyone to be awake.

I know it is easier said than done...you didn't say how old your children are, but old habits are hard to break, but if you are really serious the best rule to follow, always, is be consistent and follow through. Put them in their beds, and tell them what you expect...always do the same thing...don't give in...it will probably take a few days, but I assure you it will be worth your effort in the end. It will make your family happier...children like rules...they thrive on knowing what is expected of them...and they love praise! They are my life...I haven't found one that I didn't think was adorable yet...have a great day!

C.