4 Year Old Trying to Put Ideas in Head of 2 Year Old

I also have a 4 1/2 y/o and a 2 y/o and my son does the exact same thing to my daughter!! It must be the age. Most of the time he'll talk her into wanting something that he actually wants and then he'll say "Mom, Kaitlyn wants this." He's very clever. I don't know a way to stop it. We do time outs if when it gets really bad, such as him continually asking her if she wants a sweet treat at bedtime right after we brushed her teeth. Other than that, I think it's just his age. It's definitely normal behavior.

LOL I actually have a 4 1/2 yr old daughter and a 2 yr old son. I thought I was the only one going through this & I honestly thought it was a "girl thing" like she's trying to be mama or something. So far I've failed at getting my daughter to stop completely, but it is getting better though. The one thing I've tried is kinda out there but it slowed it down. I just hope I can explain it right. When she offers little brother a snack & gets him excited about it when it isn't nap time, I go ahead and give him her snack that she would be getting later. Then when its snack time, he gets his own, leaving her out of the snack time loop. I just tell her thats because she offered it to him. This is probably the totally wrong thing to do, but my little girl is starting to get it that if she offers it early, she loses hers all together. Just an idea for you to try. Feel free to message me if you have any other questions. Sounds like your little boy is just going through normal 4yr old stuff. Hang in there! I hear it gets better someday! LOL Hope so!!!
A. K

This is an ongoing problem. My 8 year old still occasionally does it to her younger sisters. I tell her again and again that if her sisters are hungry, they will come to me. They do not need to be asked. Hand signals work well. Come up with a signal that he knows means to stop talking and try to cut him off before he finishes, then pull him aside and explain again.

Was I so happy to see your message. I thought I was the only one going thru this. I have a four year old and a 2 1/2 year old and they work together and are very mischief. I give timeout and they lose a privilege, such as friends can't come over to play. It hasn't changed a thing.

You are not alone!

Sincerely,
A.

thank him for helping you with her, and helping to take care of her. he is trying to love her and take care of her like you do. find some ways for him to really help out. laying out her pajamas, getting her snack for her at snack time, handing her things, helping her reach things, helping her get dressed...he sounds like a kind and loving brother. encourage it!!! at our house we call it "Team Cooper" (our last name) when they help each other out, and now that he knows that there are certain things that he can always help her with, when she needs help doing something, she asks him alot of the time. it improves their relationship, and it gives him tons of self confidence.

I also have the same problem, 7 yr old does to the 5yr old, who in turn is now doing with her 1 1/2 yr old brother!!! I guess it's just a never-ending battle. I wish I had a suggestion for you. I guess as the first poster said, just keep trying to tell him thanks for the help, but you will take care of it. I try that, but it doesn't work too great. I'll have to keep checking back, too, maybe someone else has a fix for it.

Umm you described my problem to a tee,LMAO. My 4.5 (5 in march) yr old little guy does the same thing to our 2 year old girl who IDOLIZES him. I have 4 kids too much to keep up with most times. This drives me crazy. I have to yell at him constantly. i will track this one to see what people say as well. I think he oes it to get her in trouble but he gets himself in trouble in the mean time...

does he know that you dont want her to have those things. maybe he thinks he is helping you just tell him you can handle taking care of sister and you thank him for his help but it is not helping. good luck.

Reminds me of something I read, maybe in a John Rosemond book. ("A Family of Value", perhaps?) A woman's husband was away on business a lot and her sons were two years apart and they got into a lot of mischief and she was at her wits' end. He suggested she focus her discipline on the older child, by making him responsible for the both of their misbehavior. His reasoning was that by making the older child responsible for whatever misbehavior either of them got into, the older child would have a vested interest in setting a better example and encouraging his younger brother to behave well. The idea was that he was older and knew better, and therefore was expected to act that way and demonstrate how kids were expected to behave in the family. Yes, the kid felt it was unfair, but it took the mom out of the middle (no longer the referee) and gave her son the chance to learn personal responsibility, and the kids started behaving better after the mom put this rule in place.

I guess mine started early my son is 3 1/2 and his brother is 18 months.I think we go thru this everyday.My oldest asking my youngest if he wants a snack or juice.Of course my youngest says yes my 3 year old then tells me my brother wants a drink mom..lol.I just tell him sorry its not drink time or snack time, or you just ate didn't you?It is not stopping the problem. I think he does it because he knows it is not drink time and he thinks I will say yes to the youngest.Not much help but you are not alone.

When my older kids do it to the younger ones (I have 4 kids, 6, 5, 3, and 2), the older one gets in trouble every time. It hasn't stopped it yet, but it has gotten to be less of a problem. Good luck!

Oh my gosh. How funny! They do this their entire lives! Always "suggesting" to the younger one that something better is around the corner.

We still fight this battle but at the age of your kids, mine got into trouble for doing this. It really disrupts the family if the little one starts screaming. So, whatever repercussions you impose, you need to do it. Whatever works for the older one- time out, she gets the thing but not him. He may be doing it so that HE will also get the item (juice). So consider the motive and be consistent.
Note: after reading the responses, I do remember that my older always did this when HE wanted a snack. It was a way for him to get what he wanted through the little one.

I have two children almost the same age/gender as yours so I know exactly what you are talking about. My boy does it too. Most of the time he is just trying to help. He wants to get her the snack or drink or toy or whatever. Sometimes it is encouragement for her to get into trouble because he knows she wont if she does it, but he will. You need to notice when he does it is it in a helping manner or to provoke a behavior. If it is to help, try to to get so upset. It can cause him to "rebel". I know it can be frustrating because it is not what is needed at that time, but that is the joy of parenting.