4 Year Old Still Not Sleeping Throug the Night

she's doing this because she can. by letting her sleep all ov er the place you are enabling her. MAKE her sleep in her bed, ignore her when she gets up, take her straight back to bed without a word to her. put up a double baby gate if you have to to keep her in.

It must be difficult going through this for so long! You may have several things going on here, or a combination of some or all of them. One issue is probably power. Kids like to wield power over the adults in their lives. She yanks your chain. Another thing is that this has become a habit and will probably be as difficult to break as dieting. There is also the slight possibility of some sort of health issue. Kids can get things like heart burn, gas, from things they eat. It may not be severe enough to cause pain, but severe enough to wake her up. I doubt this is the case since it seems to happen almost every night.

One way or the other, this ritual needs to stop. She is old enough to understand that the whole family needs to sleep. Lights out means she needs to stay in her bed, quietly. She doesn't have to sleep, but she has to remain quiet so the rest of the family can sleep. If she has her own room, you can propose she can be in her room, but lights out and quiet. This is not a negotiation. Don't focus on the sleeping, focus on the quiet. If she doesn't want to sleep, that's her business, but she can't keep the rest of the family from getting their sleep.

If she cries/whines and wakes anyone in the house, she is punished and punished hard. No friends, no TV, no favorite toys, no birthday parties. If you can leave her with friend or family member, she can't go on any family outings, no trips to the park, no going out to eat, no family gatherings. If she can't respect the family, she doesn't get the perks of being in a family. This needs to be laid out to her at the beginning. If you want to give her one warning before punishment, tell her up front. The punishments should escalate, tell her that up front. You need to sit her down and tell her that her keeping the family up at night is over - period. Like learning anything else, it may come to her quickly, it may come to her with some difficulty. Your only option is to go on like you are, and frankly, that's not an option. When you feel weak, imagine she is in school she's still not sleeping. Imagine one of your other kids is sick and you need to care for them and this one is still yanking your chain. She's not going to break, she is not going to be psychologically scarred. Imagine you, your husband, and all your children getting a decent night's sleep!

I'm not quite sure what to tell you, as we have a 2 1/2 year-old, that does the same thing. The problem with letting him scream/yell/cry in his room, he ended up with vocal nodules. Yikes!!! Anyways, to give all of us some sleep, he eventually lays in our bed, around 1/2am. I can't say that I like that, as my husband and I don't get any alone time, but....we'll see! I'm curious to read the other responses.

My daughter didn't sleep through until 3 so I didn't have to take action but a friend of mine's daughter wasn't sleeping through the night or wanting to go to bed. Their daughter put her on melatonin. If you haven't already talked to your pediatrician, it's just a thought. Obviously don't try anything with asking a dr. first but just saw your info and thought I'd throw this option out to you. Good luck. I remember those days....you feel like you will be tired for the rest of your life! No fun!

There is a good chance that she is having nightmares. I was reading about this last night, in fact, as I am having similar problems with my 4 year-old. Between ages 3 and 6 children start having alot of them. Don't really know why other than I expect it has a lot to do with the mental and emotional growth that they experience at this time. Your 4 year old, may just be a very vivid dreamer.

Mine is afraid to go to sleep. She is afraid to sleep by herself in her room. (A dream about bugs in her bed.) If she does go to sleep in her bed, she doesn't stay asleep. When she sleeps with me, I have awaken to her talking in her sleep, her sleeping at the foot of the bed, on the floor, standing up and resting her upper body on the bed, as well as sleeping on top of me.

She did well when she first got her big girl bed. And she loves it. It is Princess Pink color. Her favorite! But then she had the dream about the bugs. She is afraid of bugs. That was the end of it. I thought she was getting better and then we had the earthquake and aftershocks. She has gone through not wanting to even be upstairs by herself. She seems to be getting over that.

I set a deadline about a week ahead and told her "okay you need to start sleeping in your own bed like a big girl on Monday night because you are starting at your new big girl preschool." She works very well with deadlines. Then we counted down each night. We talked about it a couple of times on Monday, so by the time night came, she was prepared. I took her upstairs, we cleaned up her room, talked about preschool the next morning and she went to bed in her own bed. I read a story to her and then she went to sleep. She still got up and came into bed with me about 2:30, but we will work on that next. You can't try to break too many of the habits at once. One at a time, and then move on to the next.

I hope that my experience with my 4 year old helps give you some ideas. It comes down to setting a deadline, preparing for the deadline and following through on the deadline. Also, only address one situation at a time. Trying to change it all at once just overwhelms them.

Good Luck!

You mentioned that this is not a everynight thing and that she is wakeing up screaming, some times changing beds and seems to still be asleep. Look up more info on night terrors, my oldest did this for the first couple of years, they usually out grow it. Kids will wake up and just cry and scream, mine would look right at me screaming for me but didn't realize I was there in front of him. It scared the you now what out of me the first time it happened. Well lucky me I was in my first year of college and was taking my general psychology course at the time and I spoke with my professor over the event that took place. He told me to really look into night terrors, and I found excatly what I was looking for. They seem to have different side effects mainly waking and having no recall that they did, almost like the whole sleep walking. If this dont sound like what going on, do we have a night lite in her room? a fav. blanket or stuff animal for security? Some thing may just be waking her that she gets scared that its dark and she is alone. Another make sure her belly is full with a bed time snack I found this has really helped with my youngest that if he gets a small bowl of popcorn and a cup of milk it fills him up and sleeps so much better, maybe hunger pains are waking her and a little snack would help, the hours are long through the night dinner to breakfest. Even look into nice relaxing music for the back ground, or even a noise machine I have heard good things about those really working. Just a little info I have been through and more to think about.
Good luck I really hope you find something that helps and keep us infromed.

You might need to make some changes to her diet. My son was doing this until about 8 months ago. I cut out all red dyes, caffeine and most of his sugar intake. I also quit having him take a nap, since most of the time that was a struggle anyway. You might mention it to the doc if you have not already.

wow. sounds like my 2 1/2 year old. he's never slept well. has a perfect routine everynight & goes to bed at 8 (he's usually asking to go to bed by 7 or 7:30). same thing, doesn't matter how early or late we put him to bed, he still wakes up/cries out starting about 12:30 & keeps it up for every half hour to an hour after he starts. again, like your child, he may sleep throught the night 2 or 3 times a month but, I've decided that he only does that because he's completely exhausted. he doesn't scream, but cries until someone comes to console him. we've tried everything as well so, if anyone knows any sure fire way to get him to stop, i'm all ears!! I have asked his pediatrician & she said there was really nothing that we could do & that some kids don't EVER sleep through the night.

I have had seven children, the first three had great bedtime routines, the next 3 not so great, and probably this one won't be too great, due to circumstances with my husband's work hours. Anyway, I think routine is probably the best way to start out. Do a bath, get a small sip of drink, read a story in bed, kiss and hug, and have her fall asleep. If she wakes, then either take her back to her bed, or put her in yours, or next to your bed, and make sure you do the SAME thing every night without too much ado. Talk calmly, and see if she will let you rub her back for a few minutes. Try to make it the same amount of time EVERY time.

She is only 4yo, and even though I have a child who is manipulative (but older), it is my experience that children aren't out just to manipulate their environment. IF a baby cries, and I believe 4yo is still considered a "baby" because they can't be too rational, then we should see what is wrong and fix it. If it is defiance, that would show up all day as well, and you didn't mention that. So, I personally would not resort to strict discipline at this age, because she won't be able to understand it, and it will be upsetting for both of you. You may try rewards only, perhaps if it helps, if she sleeps all night, she gets a sticker on her chart. But, I am not too rational in the middle of the night when exhausted, we can't expect her to be.

One time, I had a child waking because she had to go to the bathroom. She was never nighttime bedwetter like all the rest of my children, and she had to go, but couldn't verbalize it, until she wet herself, and I figured it out for the next time. One time, it was teeth bothering a smallish child, and they can't say, "my teeth hurt". Another time, I had a child wake from night terrors many nights, because she was giving up her midday naps. And, that is totally uncontrollable.

Do you what you need to do to get some sleep, and this too shall pass. But, I might consult the physician too if it doesn't stop soon.

Try a little more strict discipline. Follow thru on your discipline threats. If it is not night terrors or just waking and not willing to go back to sleep, you may need to try harsher concequences. Especially since you have other children that need their sleep. Good Luck and God Bless.

Of course you want to look at her diet to see if she is getting stimulants such as caffeine,chocolate, and also if she is drinking to much fluid before bedtime. Then what's really hard, but the only way I know of to stop this cycle, is to not give in to her even if it disrupts the family's sleep short term in the long term though everyone will be able to sleep better. Your daughter has learned that if she cries enough, is loud enough she will get what she wants.

Have you tried earlier - my 4 yr old is in bed by 8. We read stories, have a bed snack (fruit), say prayers and he goes to bed by himself. I have music playing or his humidifier. Make the routine and stick to it. Then when she wakes, go in, shh her, tuck her in and say good night. Or whatever routine you want to set up. This should be the routine also when she is falling asleep. She needs consistancy in her own bed. Sleeping with others will only wake her up more plus wake others. Good luck!

It sounds like you've tryed alot of the things that I would normaly suggest to someone in your situation, and I can't realy think of what else you could do yourself. So my opinion would be to call your doctor and explain things to them. Have them refer you to a sleep specialist who has a good rep. for thier work with kids.