4 Year Old Still Having Fits Instead of Communicating

How is his communication skills at home and in general? Aside from throwing fits, can he communicate with words appropriately? If he has problem communicating with words appropriately, he may have a language delay that is causing frustration. If not, it's behavioral.

My daughter will be 4 in 2 weeks and up until recently would cry a lot instead of using her words. Hers is not a language issue, it was just behavioral.

If it's behavioral, talk to him about being a BIG BOY! Praise him when he does act like a big boy. Talk to him about how good he talks, when he does, and that you like to hear him use his words.

If you think he has a problem with his langauge skills, get him a language evaluation IMMEDIATELY!! www.slpsinc.com

Although my daughter is not in school yet she is 3 yrs. and throws fits sometimes too. Whether she is in trouble or not we explain things to her like she is essentially a big girl. (or as some parents would think, older than what she is) If this happened with our little girl at school I would sit her down and talk to her. Ask her why she screams, yells, etc. at school. All the while staying calm because all you want is the answer. After getting an answer, or not depending on whether he will answer you, explain to him that he needs to tell the teacher(s) what he wants or why he is bothered and they can help him. They don't know what he wants if all he does is cry or throw a fit. I would make sure you know whether he likes school or not too. If so, I would make sure that he knows school is more fun if you talk "like a big boy" (the phrase I use most often) I hope this helps. If you still have issues after you talk to him(if thats what you do) I would see about sitting in one day at school, even if its only for half a day.
Good luck, I hope this helps!

I am opening a daycare and while taking classes i found that there are a lot of ways to get to the source of what is going on with a child when they are acting in a way that is unusual for their age. At the daycare your child is at you can talk to the director and ask them about the "TRY-ANGLES PROGRAM" where a professional comes to the daycare center while the parent and teacher is present and observes the child to see what is going on! If you want more info you can call:
387-KIDS (5437). HOPE THIS HELPS.

Hi S.,
I have a four year old with the same problems at school. We began by asking her teacher to call us when she began to act up. At home we explained that we were disappointed etc. and that if her behavior cont. we would proceed with further punishment. We told her that we were going to take away ALL of her toys if her teacher had to call. We asked her teacher to try and call us at the beginning of the week (we knew that that behavior would occur again). When her teacher called, we packed up all of her toys and put them in the garage. We gave her a notebook with five rules to follow. [Our 5: Take nap or atleast lay quietly on her cot, use words instead of throwing fits, follow school rules, (the next two, we knew that she could do) brush her teeth am & pm and clear her plate at dinner time]. When she successfully meets any one of her daily goals, she receives one of her own toys back . . . up to 5 a day. We count each polly pocket and each barbie as a single toy. So far, we havn't experienced any further problems at school. She was really angry at us, but now she can't wait to tell me how she did at the end of a school day. I am sure that all of our issues with her aren't over and I know it sounds extreme, it just depends on how desparate you are. I was most worried about Kinder next year and I wanted to nip this type of behavior in the bud.
Good Luck!

Hi S.

I'm going to approach this from a different angle. Did anything change at daycare?..has he always been this way at daycare?..What are the care givers at daycare doing or what have they done to resolve this?..All children throw fits and I have a 15 1/2 year old son and a 3 1/2 year old daughter...they both throw fits when they don't get want they want..but with my son because he is older we discuss things and he knows if things continue in that manor he will be grounded and my daughter gets time out...but back to daycare...what changed there that made his behaviour change?

D.

Go to his school unannounced and without him knowing you are there. Watch to see what is setting off his frustration. My daughter went through this, and we learned she was frustrated because her caregivers and some of the other children could not understand what she was trying to verbally say. We worked with her and found a teacher who was willing to be her "go to person" when she felt she was not being understood.

Good luck!

Look into the school first. Go and sit in for a day. If necessary change him.

At home watch and see what frustrates him, and alert the teacher. Also alert her/him as to how you cope with it at home, so they can keep continuity.

Ask him what the problem is at school. And see if you two can work something out.