4 Year Old Having Potty Problems

This has got to be as traumatizing for her as it is upsetting for you. Having her make frequent potty stops during the day may help her. She needs to remember that everything takes time and maybe she's finding playing so much fun that she can't take the time to out to go on the potty. Offer concern and incentive a after school treat for no potty mishap's. Letting her know that everyone has accidents and its ok is a great start. Helping her get over this may just take some time.

Over praising her when she does make it to the potty for #2 will want her to please you more. So applaud, dance sing, and offer extra bedtime stories or things that she likes to do for her rewards.

Every child go through Phases and she's going through one now.

My four year old has great communication skills but I don't think that she can always express herself or things that happen adequately or in a way that we can understand.

I would look into a new daycare. There is obviously something going on and I wouldn't take the chance that it's something serious while you try to find out. Just look into a new situation.

Hi M.,
My son went thru a similiar problem and I was so confused to figure out why this was happening. It turns out that his bowl mon=vements were painful, so he'd try to hold it in until he couldn't and then it was too late to get to the potty because he always thought he could hold it in. His doctor recommended giving him a stool softner and after about 2 weeks of taking just a capful every day in his ovaltine it solved the problem. I never would have thought that was the reason.I did the same thing you are, asking him if there was something bothering him, etc. He was about the same age. He's been fine ever since, but it took a long time with lots of frustration to figure out. Too bad I didn't have Mama Source!

Hi M. - Two things come to mind from my potty training history - lol.
1. I am potty training my two year old right now...he's not a fan of the toilet at school. The teacher said he shakes and she won't make him go on it - because she knows he's scared. So to handle this, we've just decided that we were going to not change anything with re: to him see and trying to go, she doesn't make him, but just the repetition of asking and him seeing others go, in addition to him getting out and around more toilets, it has helped him to overcome this fear, and he's now going. SO, I am not sure if she's having an issue with the potty or something is bothering her about the toilet, but if so and she says so, I would just keep comforting her and addressing her fears with the daycare.
2. My older guy, when he was 3 1/2, was fully potty trained, then had a period where he pooped and peed on the floor, right next to the toilet. Granted, I had just gotten pregnant, but, either way, we still had to handle this. He reverted, is what my docs called it, and their suggestions were NOT TO WORRY about it, to handle each situation with a reminder about going in the toilet, to have him help clean up and to keep him focused again on going (so kinda of like re-potty training him) until he started going again, in the right place :). It really wasn't long that this persisted, maybe a few weeks, and then he was over it.
Suggestions...don't get frustrated, keep her in pull-ups, make sure the daycare is aware of her normal bowel movement times so they can get her on a toilet, and just take each day seperately...she'll get it. Each kid is different and this is just something (for some reason) that is reoccuring that she is still just working through. I think being real with her, in addition to talking her through what you are needing and thinking with her is important, so then you are both clear on what the goal is. Even at 4, they understand trying and understand your need for things. She'll pick up on your love, understanding and extra effort and I'm sure she'll be back to getting ALL her stuff in the right place.
Good luck!

Some four olds have relapes sometimes. But, if you are concerned about the atmosphere around the daycare, just do a pop up visit. The best pop-up visit to a school is un-announced and on a Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. You might have to spend a day. Just tell them that you had the time and decided to come up and volunteer. Spend a little time and observe what's going on. Also, try spending just a little more time with your 4 year old. If it just holding the child until they go asleep. The child might just need a little more attention.