4 Year Old Boy Will Only Pooh in diaper...help!

Updated on April 14, 2007
J.R. asks from Bay City, MI
9 answers

Our son has not been in diaper for what seems ages...except for poohing. We have tried sticker charts, rewards, big toilets, baby toilets. He screams for a diaper to pooh in each day. I make him go get it and put it on, but we have to change him. I recently told him he can have a diaper but has to sit on one of the toilets while poohing. This has caused a whole new dilema...he can not go. I am starting to think it's not the diaper, but the position he has to get used to. If he gets off the toilet he squats and is literally done within a minute. I am lost on what to do now...I seem to keep hitting roadblocks. Help

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So What Happened?

Whelp, it's 11:10pm and my son has been literally sitting on the potty since 9:30pm. We refused the diaper and finally held our ground. At 10pm we gave him 1/2 tube of fleet. In the past...i mean at least a year ago when he held it in, 1/2 of fleet would clear his system in a matter of 5 minutes, so I was expecting the same...but 1/2 hour later nothing was happening, so at 10:30 we gave him the rest of the fleet and about 10:50 it kicked in to gear. He had 3 waves of movements and after all the screaming of not wanting to "push" it finally happened on a toddler toilet. At least now he has the feel of what it's like to be sitting...i hope he is still this excited the next time he has to go...we'll see :)

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M.G.

answers from Detroit on

I would talk to his ped to see if there is any obstructions that cause him to have to squat down in order to go. I would ask for an xray at the very least. My daughter had a lot of bowl movement issues and it took a good year of working with her doctor before we finally got it resolved. She would bleed very badly (dripping) when she would have a movement. The other thing sounds crazy but could be he fears apart of him (solid part) falling into the water and "going away".

Good Luck Jodi- I know it is frustrating.

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C.T.

answers from Detroit on

my 2 1/2 year old had issues with pooping on the potty. i just let her go naked and gave her a stool by the toilet for her feet. if she wouldnt go, we used an enma, sat right there and put her on the potty, when she went we MADE A HUGE DEAL!and rewards for when she goes! our doctor also had to prescribe a liquid stool softner for her, goes she would hold it and be constipated.this helped her to go. it only took about 2 weeks and now she is potty trained.(except during the night)hope this helps. just what happen to us! good luck to you!

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C.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi Jodi,
I agree with Christy. If he doesn't go he will get constipated and then it will hurt when he tries on the potty. I would talk to your ped. and see what she says. Try not to let him see you get frusterated with him. It won't help him. Good luck.
Chris

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R.K.

answers from Detroit on

Jodi, I have had this problem with my son for about 8 months now. He was potty trained at 3 and did a great job! He practically trained himself. He will be 4 in June and he also will not go Poop in the toilet!!! We were making him try to sit every day on the toilet but he would not go. So then he would get constipated because he would hold it in and no ever let it out. My pediatrician said to use a timer, calendar, rewards, etc. but none of these were a success. He would only go in his diaper. He eventually ended up in the hospital with a impacted colon from holding his poop for so long. We decided then, to let him go poop in his diaper, because at least he will then poop!! So, yes we are changing poopey diapers of a 4 year old also. My husband and I have decided that hopefully he will grow out of this. I have told him that he will not be able to go to kindergarten if he is still in a diaper for pooping. We have tried everything and he just won't do it. My doctor said that this is a common problem with BOYS! My husband as a child had this same problem.
My son also has a definate position for his pooping. I call it the "downward dog" position. Are you familiar with that pose in Yoga? You are kind of in a hands and feet on the floor with your bum up in the air. Why that works for him I don't know. We even bought a new toitet seat that has a extra seat inside of the lid that flips down with a smaller opening for smaller bums. I thought that he might think that was fun and new, and would then try going on the toilet. NOPE!! So we just wait. I think that they will pobably outgrow this problem. My docotr assures me. My girlfriend has a little boy who is 3 1/2 and has this problem toooooo! What is a mother to do?
Hang in there, hopefully they will get tired of poop in thier pants soooooon!
R. K.

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D.W.

answers from Detroit on

My son used to have this problem, he would do fine except #2 on the toilet. He knew it was wrong, so he would hide behind a chair behind the shed, anywhere no one would see him. One day I knew he was about to do something I took him in the bathroom with some of his favorite books. I read to him for I don't know how long, but it worked. Eventually it took less time and then he eventually would just go sit down on his own with his favorite books. As a reward you can even buy him some new books. My son is 12 now so it has been a long time but I have a 3 year old and we are potty training now and he loves to take books into the bathroom. Good luck and I hope this helps.

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J.M.

answers from Detroit on

Oh I feel for you. Looks like you have gotten some good advice, but I would lean strongly on losing the diapers. Keep some suppositories on hand. When he screams for a diaper, take him in the bathroom and insert a suppository and make him sit there. My first son was very leary using the toilet for this. After he did it though, it seemed he pooped every time he sat on the darn thing. (I trained him to sit and pee).
Just watch him closly so he does not get constipated. Try upping the fiber in his diet until he gets a hang of it. Good luck!

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

my freind had this issue with her daughter.. the ped recommended using a dose of milk of magnesia daily.. - the idea was some gentle laxative- so the kid really has to go.. and cant really hold it in. a fiber supplement like citrucel might work too - it is orange flavored and he might even like it.. it tastes ok. extra fruit and veggies.. maybe raisins or the really big raisins (prunes)

I agree that you should make hime poop in the bathrrom on the toitlet-- at first with a diaper... then you can get rid of the diaper. he is old enough to do this...

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C.S.

answers from Detroit on

You have to stop giving him the diaper. Remove them from your home. If you don't have any, he'll have to use the toilet. Just tell him you don't have any and don't back down. He'll continue to use the diaper as long as you let him, so you have to make the decision to stop it. Good Luck!

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T.R.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I had this problem with my son at first. I got some good advice from some mamasourcers; one mom told me to turn him around in the potty and draw out a steering wheel on the back of the toilet to make it look like a truck or a race car or something it helped my son to relax on the potty and sit for a little while. Honestly, he was more concerned with playing but for us that was the first step in getting him on the toilet. I just told him I was done cleaning up a diaper because he was not a baby anymore. He held it for a day or so and his belly got so upset he had no choice but to go and his only choice is the toilet. You just need to get rid of the diapers, he is pooping in them because he knows that you will clean him up. I let my son pick out his own toilet seat and got him his own special toilet paper and hand wash. After the first poo he was so proud of himself he has always gone on the potty. Good luck I hope I helped.

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