4 Year Old Boy Potty Training Issues

Hey S.,

Often kids do not want to sit on the toilet because it hurts or they are scared they'll fall in.

I suggest getting a sturdy stool and a padded child sized potty seat and have your child try it out. Make sure the potty seat doesn't move, or it will scare him.

Since you know he is aware of his bowel needs, lay down the law, "We poop in the potty, not pull-ups or our underwear." Don't buy pull-ups (for popping) anymore and if he poops in his underwear (and it's not an honest accident), they have him clean himself up.

Remember though, do not punish. If you punish, he'll dig in his heals and it will get worse. When an accident happens, just send him to the bathroom to clean-up as if you sent him in to brush his teeth.

Good Luck

R. Magby

we have a hard time with this too. we even bought this special toilet seat that has an insert that goes up for an adult but you pull down for a child. so, our tactic has been to make sitting on the toilet part of his bedtime routine. so before jammies go on he sits on the toilet. so far every night, he's gone and he's very proud of himself.

I have the exact same problem. My 3.5yr old has worn underwear for over a year, but every time he needs to poop he brings me a pull-up, does his business, then I put him on the potty to wipe. He was trained initially by sitting on the toilet, so that isn't an issue. And initially he pooped on it (about three times). What caused our problem is he saw the poop in the potty and smelled it, and he actually gagged and vomited. He still gags about three times a week whenever I dump it in the toilet and he sees it. I have been handing him a candle to smell while I wipe and try to flush before he sees it.
Over the holidays I thought we would crack down and solve the problem. We talked a week before that on Friday the pull-ups were all done and he was going to poop on the toilet like all of his friends and family. He was hesitant, but tried. I gave up after four days of him not going. He was getting quite distressed saying "I need to poop but I don't want to". His stomach was hurting and he actually said his anus hurt. This wasn't worth it to me so we are back to where we started. He tried but I guess he's just not ready? Everyone tells me not to worry, that he won't go to school in diapers, but I'm also getting frustrated because in a month I will have three kids using diapers/pullups!

I agree with Rebecca, and adding a little bribery/reward system wouldn't hurt either. Find something he really likes, and reward him with it every time he poops on the potty. And tell him ahead of time you're going to do this.