My son is asking about his father who is uninvolved, and I need to know what's best to say. He asks if we can "buy a daddy." I told him daddy's in Sacramento teaching college, and then explained to him about different families.
wow - good for you for doing this alone. Best advice . . . be honest - slow at first because he's only 4 - but they're smarter than we give them credit for. The best moms are always honest with they're kids - especially with tough subjects. He'll respect you so much more when he's older and realizes that you loved him enough to tell the truth.
R.
It sounds to me like you have handled it well. I am sorry I don't have more to add.
My daughter asked the clerk in Toys R Us where the daddy aisle was when she was 3... used to ask men in the grocery store if they would come home and be her daddy... she is 17 now - dad never did get involved, but she does know who he is. Over time they sort of figure out that dad isn't going to be involved. Just make sure you are clear it has nothing to do with your son... I just have always told my daughter that being a father is very hard work and her dad decided it was too hard for him. it doesn't mean he doesn't love her - he just choses to live single instead of family style.
Hey Y.,
I think you have handled the situation very well. You should start soft and as your child gets older and can understand more, explain what happened and why. It's important that children understand what's really going on, and don't blame theirselves. I have an adopted girl, and that's how we did it with her. She's is perfectly fine now and still calls me "mom." Hopefully this will work for you. Good luck!
