Read Smart Love by Martha Heineman Pieper and William Pieper. They have it at the Oak Park Library. It gives really good advice on parenting. One of the keys is to avoid fighting and when you have to set a limit to do it in a way that doesn't add tone, so that it is more a discussion rather than an order. Your little fellow probably is himself upset and needs a little more loving, even though it is hard when he is acting like this. Children that age don't really have intent. They aren't doing things to "make you mad". They are doing them because they want what they want when they want it. That is pretty developmentally normal. Some of the things that we fight about don't need to be fought over. For instance, he may have to brush his teeth but you could get his shoes. Sometimes we are fighting in some sense because we feel a child should do what we say. Obviously, health and safety issues always need to be addressed but see what of the others you can just let go of for a while. You are right, being angry is very very tiring. Good luck.