4 Y/o Won't Stop Soiling Herself!

JS, here is a useful article, that helped us with our daughter.
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/extract...
We consulted children's hospital and are working on keeping her regular. still no cause for the condition, but daily life is much improved. We use very small enemas occasionally to keep her bowels clear enough to stop the leakage around backed up feces in her bowel, causing her to soil her pants, too.
good luck, A.

Hi J S - I can imagine that is really frustrating for you. I encourage you to back off just a little just so that she doesnt start controlling the situation by refusing to go potty, etc. Resistance to going or just not wanting to stop what she is doing in order to go potty is pretty common and very well could have contributed to her initial constipation.

I would encourage you to pick one or two times during the day like after breakfast or as part of the bedtime routine to have her sit on the potty to have a b.m. At first she may be resistant to sitting there long enough to go so perhaps she could take a toy or a book or you might need to sit with her a read, etc. It's gross but at first that will help her relax. She may also need some coaching. 10 minutes is a good starting point at first. If she isnt successful in the morning, try again at bedtime. When you find a time that she is consistently able to produce a b.m. then she will probably have better success keeping her underwear clean, although some breakthrough is to be expected.

edit: JS - thought I would let you know that my 6yo contributed to the advice in this message. : )

Good luck!

You might want to Google "encopresis." It's a common but rarely-talked-about complication of constipation. Some of the soiling may be involuntary, if her anal sphincter has been stretched out by chronic constipation, so yes, perhaos a visit to a trusted pediatrician may be worthwhile.

I would:
1. See your regular's child's doctor to rule out some type of problem that is medically based.
2. She may be "holding" due to embarrassment and control issues, which can create the problems you are describing. I recommend that you offer to put her back in pull-ups. I know this sounds counterproductive but I recently recommended this to another parent with a 3.5 year old and she immediately relaxed and within a week was back in panties and using the toliet without issues.
3. Talk to her. Let her know that she is experiencing "sneaky poop" and that using pull ups to catch it will help her not feel so bad.
4. Remember to praise her when the pull up isn't messed. Of course, it's not really productive to scold her when she has an accident.
5. Ask yourself, if she is responding to some sort of environmental stress, preschool, family life, illness that may be contributing and try to address those things.

Good luck.

It sounds like your daughter may have a constpation related condidtion called encopresis. You can google that to see if you think it may fit the bill. It's nothing serious. Your doc may be able to help. Good luck.

As I understand it, it quite common for children to take a few steps backwards and have issue with potty training and accidents at 4. I would NOT ever punish her but rather have her help clean herself up and not make a big deal about it. I would remind her where it is the right place to go potty and use lots of praise when she does it right and then be very PATIENT.

Good luck