4 Month Old Waking More in Motn and a Nanny Question

I was a live-in nanny for 4 years to one family in my late 20's and early 30's. I went through a nanny agency in Boston and they had the parameters set up before both family and perspective nanny were even hired. Anything outside thier requirements were terms of negotiation during the hiring process.

As a nanny I was required to do anything around the care of the child(ren). That meant anything from kid's laundry, kid's meal preparation, playdate appts, house cleaning of kid's room/play room, etc. Please remember that a Nanny is not the same as a housekeeper. It's a touchy thing to always remember. While many of the responsibilities may cross over, a Nanny is not there to do housecleaning while the baby is sleeping. However, I do know of some Nannies that negotiated light house keeping. i.e. vacuuming, dusting, picking up, parent's laundry, etc. for an additional fee. A 4 mos. old gives a nanny a lot of down time b/c of sleep schedule. If the nanny was responsibile for a toddler it might be different. It might be worth the extra money to have her do a little more cleaning, for an added fee, to free up your time with your baby when you are not working outside the house.

I was given all meals while I was working and had access to anything in the kitchen. If there is something that is set aside for a special occasion I would ask her not to eat it but otherwise, it's fair game.

In answer to your nanny question, I was a nanny for many years. Yes, you let her have whatever meals she wants while at your home. If she is there early in the morning, expect that she will have breakfast also. It is between you and your nanny and whatever the agreement is between you two on what other chores she does around the house. Personally, I did not do housework, however, I would take care of dishes during the day. As long as it was not my employers dishes from the previous night's dinner, I would clean them up and just keep the kitchen and other living areas clean and tidy all day long. I also did laundry for the children, but not for the parents. Anything concerning the kids is what I took care of while I was there. Keep in mind that if you bog her down with chores, she will have less time to spend on your child. As long as you treat your nanny with respect and not as "hired help", you could have a great relationship and a person who loves your kids for a long time. Think about that.

we had a part-time nanny for about a year. She did any dishes used during the day and cleaned up the kitchen (swept after meals) and cleaned up teh play areas. honestly, she was great and also did any dishes that we left in the morning rush and generally emptied our dishwasher- although that was not expected. she washed towels and sheets ocassionally and offered to vacuum if we had guests coming in that night. We provided all meals but she frequently brought her own, especially if her own kids came that day. the big thing, is to sit down and discuss expectations and makesure everyone is on the same page. you may be getting upset andshe has no idea what you would like her to do. good luck.

As a nanny, Here are the things you should expect from your nanny, and should insist on from your nanny:

* Doing dishes used during the day: unload/load dishwasher could also be in her daily stuff
* Clean up children's areas
* BOTTLES for BABY!!!
* Children's Laundry
* Clean up any messes they make during the day
ANYTHING CHILD-RELATED

Now, as far as lunch goes, I bring my own lunch, and I'm Full-Time with my family. I think since it's only 2 days/week, I would ask her to bring her lunch with her. My employers keep a well-stocked fridge though in case I forget my lunch however, and know I"m welcome to grab something.

Let your nanny know that you need her to help you by keeping her work environment/your home free from mess while she is there. Any area that is played in, cleaned up at the end of the day!

I'm guessing growth spurt, it tends to happen around 4 months. Also, many babies go through sleep issues between 3 and 4 months, so it could just be that she's working out some of that. I'd just do your best to work through it, and nurse her back to sleep. You're actually pretty lucky she was only up once a night before this! Twice is really not a big deal for a breastfed baby:)

Breastfed babies need to be fed on demand. Especially at 4 months old. You have no way of knowing if she doesn't need a feeding. She is growing by leaps and bounds and your milk is what is doing that. At this age you can't deny her a feeding if she wakes. No matter what time it is. Parenting doesn't stop at night.

She is far to young to even consider any type of cio method (and in my house we would NEVER try it-see what Dr. Sears has to say about it-raises baby's blood pressure, raise stress hormones for baby).

Babies go thru all sorts of phases and stages. Follow the cues baby is giving you and follow baby's lead when they are telling you what they need.

My daugther was sleeping 5-6 hours from about 7 weeks till around 4 months then she needed to wake to eat in the middle of the night. And she continued to wake for feedings for quite some time. Sometimes it was every night, sometimes not. But don't ever let anyone tell you a baby doesn't need to eat at night past x age! Babies are to be fed on demand 24/7 for the first year and then even after that they are going to wake hungry at night.

To the nanny question....yes, I have been able to eat lunch at the home. I am a nanny! Sometimes I don't like the food the family eats so I bring my own, but I have always been able to eat what I would like (well, not the steak! :)
She should be doing the dishes that she and the children use. Make sure that your dishwasher is empty! She should be picking up the toys that the children use. Her job is the kids...so that means taking care of them and any messes that they make. Her job is not the laundry or taking out the trash or organizing the toy box....first and formost it's the kids.
It sounds like your baby is going through a growth spurt. Sigh. I hope that it goes quickly! I don't know what motn means? Am I missing something? But, I was a breastfeeding mom too, so I know that sometimes they would go through spells where they would sleep great and sometimes it seemed like they were waking every couple of hours. She gets up at 1am and then again a few hours later and then again? Sounds like she just needs a little more to eat maybe? Sounds like she is plenty hydrated with all the wet diapers. Is she in bed with you or in her own bed? My first was in bed with me, so he used me as a pacifier, the second was in his own space pretty quickly so was able to sleep longer. If you think that the 3 or 4am waking is not necessary to eat you may just want to try and rock her or do the "mama sway" until she goes back to sleep.
Good luck mama.
L.

Regarding the nanny question, usually they are expected to help with any child-related chores, including washing dishes, helping with laundry, meals, etc. Of course, if she is only working part-time, she may not be able to cover as many chores as a full-time nanny or au pair (my area of expertise...). And you want her to focus on caring for your children first, not become a housekeeper...
But for the 2 days a week she works at your home, I think it is reasonable to ask her to keep the house picked up, put dishes away, even help fold a load of clothes in the playroom while she watches the kids.