4 Month Old Scared of Daddy's Voice

Babies go through "mommy" and "daddy" stages. My 13 month old baby girl is in a "mommy only" phase right now, where she only wants to be with me, not Daddy. We always say that she's trying to say, "not the Momma" with her actions. Don't worry, it's normal and one day, you'll be wishing that he was in his old mommy only phases. On weekends, my older two children could care less if I'm even in the house because Daddy's home. :(

I had the same thing happen, but with my father's voice. He thought it was funny and he just kept talking and singing to her. He didn't see her everyday, but when he started looking after her everyday is when she was scared of his voice and she was about 3-4 months old. Now, she LOVES him...and his voice (she's 18 months now). I don't remember when it stopped, but he just used to laugh about it and continue the singing.

Can you husband use "baby talk" even though he has a deep voice? Maybe he's crying because someone else is holding him, not because of his voice? Maybe you can have you husband read some stories or sing songs into a tape recorder and then "play" the voice for him several times a day until he gets use to it.

Hi- I have an idea you can try. I used this for my pets, to get them used to the baby before we brought her home from the hospital. But you can tweak this to work for a baby too. First, record Daddy's voice - different tones and pitches; such as him playing with him in a happy voice, cooing in a soothing sweet voice, etc. When your child is awake, have that recording playing near him, to acclimate him to the voice. You can also take a close-up picture of your husband and place the photo (in a protective baby-safe frame) near your son (so he can see it) while the voice is playing. One other thing: babies are super sensitive to smells too. They can recognize Mommy by scent alone sometimes. Keep a few clothing items that smell like Daddy nearby. Then your son will become familiar with the things that Daddy is: by sound, smell and by sight. These are the 3 things that are strongest to him right now, with sight being the newest developing sense. The more exposure he has like this when Daddy isn't home, the more comfortable he'll be with Daddy when Daddy is home holding him.

Why not have your husband record himself on tape reading a kids book or just talking and play it during the day for your little boy to hear so that he can get used to daddy's voice and it's not such a shock. Start with the volume low so that it seems nonthreatening to your son and then gradually increase until it's at the same volume as your husbands natural speaking voice. He's used to your voice (and your friends) because he hears them all the time, this way he hears daddy's voice throughout the day too.

Try recording your husband on a CD or tape and play it for your son during the day when your husband is away. He will get use to hearing his voice.

gosh, that must be so frustrating. He is probably tired by the end of the day and will have trouble with anything overly new or exciting, so try introducing him to these things when he is in a happy mood, like in the morning.

My husband was frustrated by only seeing our baby at 6-7pm (cranky hours) when he got home from work so he started trying to play with her in the morning before he leaves. He'll spend as little as 5 min changing her diaper and sleeper to 30 min sometimes if time allows. I think its great b/c she is happy in the mornings. Also, my daughter frequently cries with one of her grandmas, but we just keep trying...
(I have a 6mo old girl)
Good luck!

Have movies or TV shows that have men talking on during the day. Your son is just not used to the difference in voices. It's natural and nothing to worry about. If you have the ability to record your husband reading a book or telling a story that would even be better.

My five month old son is like that. It is a funny story. I have a three year old as well and he did something he was proud of so I shouted HOORAY and the baby startled. I could whisper hooray and he would stick out his bottom lip and belt out a cry. The same thing happened with a lion's roar. I think he is sensitive...

Hi. I had simaler issure with my daughter Zoe when she was about 7 months. Her father deploys a few months out of the yeaqr for work. He left and she was only 3 months, so when he returned she was not used to his presence or for that matter, a male. To be honest it took a few weeks. We just had to introduce him into our routin. So maybe you could play with the baby or bath him, and your husband could help. Over time he will get used to him

The best thing to do is to have him record himself and you need to play it everyday and say listen to daddy. Have him (husband) sing a song or something. And make sure every morning or night he has contact with him and is talking to him. Your son will eventually get over that phase once he listens and hears his voice everyday and especially when your husband is holding him and comforting him even with his deep voice.

I remember my son (who is now 15 1/2 years old) doing this with his father and my daughter (who is now 15 months old) did this at an early age with her father. I think eventually your son will get used to your husband's louder, lower voice. My husband's voice is really loud! Maybe your husband can take your son outside now that there is daylight longer in the evening and this will dissipate the strength of the voice and also babies love being outside.

Just have the daddy spend as much time as possible with your baby. The more he gets used to the sound of his daddy's voice the better. Make sure he's not sounding frustrated or angry with him because the baby can now sense tones in voices. I would say start out with you holding him and daddy talking to him. Then slowly transition from you holding him to daddy holding him. This may mean that Daddy has to take off some time to be with his son more.

Hi M.,
Maybe you could record your husband reading some short stories.Maybey have a short kinda hang out time with you, your husband with the baby listening to the two of you talking for a few before he plays with his son.Have him talk in a slightly higher or quiet /calm voice .Not what he would use talking to you. My husband has a deep voice too.You know when he is in the room(Ha Ha).He would practice doing this with his voice when our kids were born.It works !!It is still his voice but dose not sound as bold.Make sure you support your husband too!!Take Care and good Luck!!

M.,

It might not be so much the deep voice but the loud voice that is bothering your son. Sometimes mens deep voices can come across as "booming" and it might be physically hurting his ears. I have highly sensitive hearing and some voices can be jarring and startling. My advice is for your husband to come in as quietly as possible and speak in quiet (maybe even a whisper) tones, even when he is talking to you. The more time he spends with him, he can slowly relax his voice and speak normally. He can even try not saying anything, just stroking him, kissing and maybe rocking him.

Hope this helps,

Evelyn

try playing a tv or radio or something with men's voices, so that your baby can get used to hearing that vcoal range a little more.

Don't worry--I'm sure this will pass but how about recording your husband reading some of your baby's favorite stories, or singing his favorite songs? You could play them throughout the day so he could get used to it? Just an idea..good luck!

When my first son was born we had some similar problems. Especially at night, my son would cry whenever Daddy held him or wanted to play. This is not uncommon. If his fear is alarming in its force, you might think back to make sure that he hasn't heard Daddy screaming in anger or fighting (even in late pregnancy that baby can hear). He may simply be responding to a fear he developed if that happened. If nothing like this has happened (or even if it did and you need to counteract those feelings) start by making sure he is fully rested when Daddy comes home. If he is tired or overstimulated before Daddy gets home, he will have a harder time dealing with a new person. Make sure Daddy talks with a softer voice (I'm not saying high in register, just not as loud) and talk with a smile in his voice. Start with "hi" baby games like peekaboo or something nice and quiet. Then as the baby adjusts to his Daddy's voice and touch, he can play more exciting games(like tickle baby or up and down games). Especially when Daddy comes home at night, baby may just be too tired and cranky to play, so take that into account. Then make sure that even if he cries, you don't take baby away from Daddy. Let Daddy try to handle it first, if that doesn't work, add your calming voice and touch on his back (while Daddy is holding him) and help the baby understand that Daddy is okay with you. Lastly, even if Daddy feels hurt (which is natural) he can't get angry or frustrated because that will come through in his voice and possibly frighten the baby more. Just tell him that baby is learning about his world, and will love him so much when he gets to know him better. Believe me, it took awhile with my son, but by his 1st birthday Daddy was better for everything except night-night and boo-boos.

My son did the same thing. Any loud noise and he would startle to the point where it looked like he was about to jump out of his skin then he'd cry. It was so sad. Only mom could console him. I just tell people he's sensitive. Isaac is 11 months now and gets startled every once in a while but handles it much better now.

The best thing I would say is to slowly introduce daddy's voice. He can whisper, or speak softly and not engage your son in play until he is no longer scared. At this age, they have to adjust to change. Newborns are handed off from person to person and it doesn't phase them. At four months, they need more of an introduction. Maybe your husband can come in quietly and join in on what you are doing rather than change the activity and add energy. After he's adjusted to daddy, they can play. The tape recorder ideas are good too but I'm afraid that it isn't his voice that bothers your son, I think it's probably the sudden change. Good luck!

Have you thought of having your husband make a recording for your son, maybe singing a little song or reciting a little rhythmic verse like Pat a Cake, or greeting him by name? You could then play it while doing a gentle little game several times a day, like patting the baby's hands together. Maybe accompany the recording with a picture of Daddy. "Let's say "hi" to Daddy!" Then put on the recording while doing something very brief but fun for the baby.

Children are soaking up language much more than many people reealize, even very young, so this many not be as silly as it sounds!

S. Toji
Irvine

Hi M.,

What about having your husband try to speak more softly (quietly). It may be that your son is sensitive to the loudness. Maybe the activities that your husband chooses, are frightening him. Ask him to try more relaxed activities. Have your husband try some of the activities with your son that have been successful for you. Have him lay down on the floor next to the baby for a less frightening appearance. Hope this helps!
T.

Hi! Maybe try making a recording of Daddy talking and play it at various times during the day to get baby used to Dad's voice and/or calling dad at lunch time and putting him on speaker fone so baby can hear him.

Hi M.,
How about having daddy read some children's stories and tape them for your baby to listen to when daddys not around. Might help him to just get more familiar with his voice.
Good luck
K.

Maybe you could try recording your husband's voice and playing that for your son during the day. Or you could play music with male vocals that are very low to help your son grow accostomed to other ranges of voices.

Our six-month old son loves to listen to Johnny Cash!

When my older daughter was young my husband who is a firefighter would come home, and she would cry. What we started to do was when he was home, we would spend time together (the three of us) and play with the baby I eventually would leave the room for short periods, and have just my husband spend time with her. Eventually I left for longer periods of time. Encourage your husband to keep trying, and to enjoy the moments with his son, because they will pass so quickly. Today they are very close and share a very loving relationship

Hmmm...are you sure it's his voice? Have your husband stop "playing" and start "quietly holding". I know men are capable of soft murmurs. It sounds to me like Dad needs to be "gentled". I don't question your husband's love for his baby, but sometimes first-time fathers just don't know appropriate actions.

Same thing happened to us. My son would cry as soon as my husband would step through the door at night. It was about when he was 3 months old, too. I told my husband that it might be colic and not him...that he has been stimulated all day and it very tired in the evening and when more stimulation occurs, it over taxes our son. It caused my husband to really step-in and take over the care from the point he would come home. He would put him in the Bjorn and take over from there making soothing sounds, etc.

I do believe it was colic for us - at first I thought it was his voice, his cologne, or sensing my tiredness. Later I decided it was just my son being very tired around 6 PM and any change over stimulated him.

I think this description helped - at that point, I was the expert in child rearing and my husband listened to every word I said. So, he went with my description.

My son's colic went away around 6 months (yes three month, but it slowly went away so it got better and better each week).

I hope this helps.

Try taping his voice and playing it on and off all day while Dad is working. If your hubby calls during the day, have him talk to your boy. The more he hears Daddy's voice, the more he will become comfortable with it. On the tape, he could read a story, sing to him, or tell him about something important. It really doesn't matter what he says, it just matters that Dad's voice becomes familiar. My boys are four and two... when my oldest was a baby, he did the same type of thing because my hubby also worked many hours of the day. My son did grow out of that stage and is now a "Daddy's boy", but it was very hard on my man for those early years. Let your sweetheart know that it's very natural & normal for babies to be attatched and comfortable with Mom, but shy away from Dad. He'll come around, and maybe this tape idea will quicken the time it takes for him to develop a close relationship with Dad. Good luck and God bless.

I agree with everyone who suggested recording Dad's voice and playing it a various times throughout the day. Maybe just set up the recorder (MP3 players are great for this!) while you & your husband are just hanging out together talking. The more your baby hears his voice, the more comfortable he'll become to the deepness of his voice. Our daughter went through some issues with daddy as well around 3months old. She just wasn't used to him & his voice because she's home with me all day. So on the weekends I go and do shopping by myself for awhile & if Clara starts getting too inconsolable for Daddy to handle he calls me on my cell & I come right home. We did that for about a solid month & now Daddy & Baby have very little issues!! He did have to learn that he has to keep his volume down. He can't change the tone of his voice, but he can control the volume. Good luck!