My son is 4 going on 5 in about 3 months. He has been potty trained since he was 3 years old. For about the last 5-6 months he has been going potty in his pants. It is only little bits at a time. HIs doctor says that it is just a power struggle and he will grow out of it, but he will start Kindergarten in the fall and I want to make sure that he doesn't do it there. He goes to daycare all day and I don't think that he does it there. He will go in and use the potty when he really needs to or when we force him. We have told him that we will wait for him if we are in the middle of doing something or if we are watching a movie or tv that we will pause it if he has to go. We have tried taking away things his leapster video game, tag pen, computer privledges, etc. We have tried taking away things that he likes to do, as well as much as I don't want to admit, we have also tried bribery. We always make a big deal about it when he does go a whole day with no accidents and tell him how proud we are. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Kindergarten is still 6 months away. I say ignore it and see if the power struggle goes away. If you notice it and comment on it all the time he is not progressing past it.
From my experience with my 5 year old grandson, who is with us alot, I think backing off from the issue might help a little. With him, he would just have small dribbles, but enough to change his pants sometimes, because he was holding going to the bathroom until the last minute. You might mention kindergarten coming up and how all the children need to be careful to keep clothes dry during the day becaues the teacher won't have time to change pants.
The other thing that might work is setting a timer for every hour and having him go and try. Our course - you should let him set the timer. Tell him he's a big boy so he gets to set the timer and no one else will hvae to tell him when to go!
I do think he will grow out of it.
My son is turning 5 this week and we still have some issues too. If I leave him be many times he pees a tiny bit, stops and goes to the bathroom to finish. Most of the time I remind him if he hasn't gone in 2-3 hours and it is usually a fight. It is totally a power struggle thing since he is fine at school and out in public.
I'm not sure from your post if your son's accidents are pee or poop. If it is poop, is he constipated? If he is struggling that may be the cause. If it is pee then I am fighting the same battle and I just make him do what he needs to do (he almost always has to pee when he is sent to take a potty break). I'm not sure what else to but wait for him to mature and grow out of it.
My daughter had 'accidents' when she would have a growth spurt
My youngest did that for awhile. He tried to hold it so he wouldnt have to stop doing what ever it was he was doing, and then the DARK spot would form on the front of his pants and give him away. I look back now at how cute and funny it was. I used to tell him "Look, you didnt want to stop what you were doing to go pee, but check it out you had to stop anyway so you can change your clothes, duh?" It's a phase, he'll learn soon enough. Sittin in peed pants isnt all that comfortable.
Have you tried a play therapist? We take our Son to a play therapist and it really helps. Our Son has Sensory Processing Disorder and only goes #1 in the potty, very rarely goes #2 in the potty. A lot of it is the sound issue and he is constipated also. Kids show their feelings thru their play, so if it continues, you may want to try a play therapist and see if she sees anything out of the ordinary. Has there been changes in the daycare or at home? It may be a phase he is going thru. Our son is 5 years old and he only goes potty when we set a timer for him to go or tell him to go or someone else tell's him to go. Don't feel bad about bribery, we've used it to and rewarded him candy, stickers,etc... for going to the potty. Hope it gets better!
