Hi Ladies!
Please help me!! Our 4 1/2 year old daughter will not sleep thru the night anymore. It has been about a month. She also started to have "accidents". I don't know if the two are related but probably...her accidents happen in the bathroom, she gets in there but not soon enough to get on the toilet. Not sure if this is a physical thing because the wake ups seem to be for going potty too. Then after she is awake she doesn't want to go back to sleep especially in her own bed.
We did do a family bed from when she was an infant til around her 2nd birthday. From 2-3 she would wake up and come in our bed thru most nights. At 4 she started to sleep all night in her own bed. She goes to her Grandmoms house and spends the night/weekends without incident. Though I have found out Grandma lets her stay up much later and fall asleep in the living room to be carried to bed...
We have had a very stressful 2 1/2 years, lost my Mom to cancer 1 1/2 yrs ago and she was there for all of that. My younger sister is living with us now, she has Downs Syndrome. My oldest daughter had a baby in June and I have started to watch her 2 days a week so she could go back to work. I am guessing all of this has to contribute to these changes but I don't know what to do to get her back on track.
We did not sign up for Vpk because I didn't want her to feel like I was replacing her with my Granddaughter and now with the accidents I am afraid to sign her up because I don't want her to be teased if she has one at school.
We stop drinks 1 1/2 hour before bedtime. She goes potty then and at bedtime.
Any advice would be greatly apreciated.
Sincerely,
J.
a very tired Mom and Grandmom!
My daughter, at 4, would have accidents and night wakeing when her asthma acted up. Her asthma is mild and for the longest time I didn't know the night coughing was asthma. Anyhow, with treatment on asthma flare ups she's fine.
Hi J.,
I agree with you, it does sound like it could be related to the changes in her life. Having a new baby there along with a special needs aunt is two big changes, all in-house. I don't know that I'd send her away to VPK during the day when she's having trouble like this either. But I would try to carve out special time with her every day, maybe out of the house to start with, just to "get away".
I would wait out the sleep/potty issues. It's probably a regression that will resolve itself if you stand back and just observe it, be there for her but don't make it a big deal. Best of luck!
im going to be completely blunt and opinionated...hope u dont mind!i think ur daughter is lacking in the attention department...shes not getting enough constructive attention so in turn shes seeking it during the night from u.ive had this problem with my 4 1/2 year old...shes my sensitive child out of 4 children and she had episodes of crying in the middle of the night and would refuse to go back to her bed.it happened when her younger brother was born and a couple times since then, the most recent being a couple months ago and when i reflect of what happened during the day when these episodes occur...i always come up with the same conclusion...shes feeling attention starved.ur daughter also needs to be in vpk...she needs to have an outlet of her own...preschool teaches them so much more than abc's and 123's and if her world already seems to be changing then y not give her a chance to experience a good change like joining pre-k!i have my daughter (the sensitive one)in pre-k ...by the way shes the only one of my kids that ever went and to see the change in her is indescribable...shes blossomed in2 a self assured little sweetie and its awesome 2 c!it doesnt matter if she "MIGHT " HAVE AN ACCIDENT...shes a baby/...it happens...warn the teacher...pre-k teachers are understanding of this problem!i think u will see results within a week or 2 if u take her to vpk!ok enough of me...great luck to u and ur family!
Hi, and may strength and peace be with you!
Try homeopathy, Cina 6c. It's available at Whole Foods, Chamberlains, Wild Oats and most health food stores.
It has heped our sons finally stop having accidents like your daughter. They tooo would wake in the night and not get there in time and be restless for hours before finally sleeping.
God Bless you in all you do! You are an amazing mom and grandmother!!! We all have our hill and valley moments! Your next high point is right on the horizon!
Hi J.~
I'm sorry I don't have any advice to give you. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry you're having such challenges in your life. I pray that God will bring you relief.
Blessings,
G.
Johna:
I definitely believe the changes in your life has lot to do with your daugther's issues. And feel you guys went to a lot in the last 2 years. It is too much stress for a 4 1/2 years old and some kids respond different. Too much for her and you to handle alone. You need to talk to your pediatrician or a specialist in order for them to help you. You will see that as soon as she gets professional help, everything will be better. Have faith ! Please don't do it alone, we sometimes feel that we need to be "super MOMS" but asking for help is the smartest thing to do. Believe me I went through a lot in my life.
GOD BLESS YOU ! All the best to you and family
Grace
Mother of a 4 year old girl
She might like the VPK to do her own thing. Perhaps set up some time early in the morning to cuddle with her, give her a sticker on a chart for staying in her bed all night. I might ignore the bathroom thing and just encourage her to keep trying. She probably won't have an accident in public while she is awake. Many VPK's don't nap but they usually deal with accidents with dignity.
You might check to see if she has a bladder infection or kidney infection that is waking her up to use the restroom. This would cause the urgency to have to go and the unability to make it. You can buy the test strips at Walgreens. I also would assume that the two things are related.
Good luck!
SAM
Hang in there! I think keeping her with you was a very good choice. Whatever she is going through it is best to go through it with her rather than send her off to other people. Just remember, you will have another entire year of bonding, togetherness and memories that you would give away to a stranger that she will never remember, when she is an adult. Keep her close, these times only last such a short time.
Although I think she is going through some emotional changes related to all the things that she has had to endure in your household I think you might want to rule out anything physical as well....maybe a quick trip to the ped. just to rule out any infection etc that she may be able to respond to better by day rather than night. Whatever the case may be, you will be at peace knowing you ruled it out.
Otherwise I would keep her feeling as content, secure and loved as possible through all of these changes, struggles...etc. Maybe just stay with her after she wakes up, make little fuss over the accident so as not to cause additional anxiety over 'accidents' or else bring her into bed with you if you don't mind it. If it's ok with your family, then there is nothing wrong with it...every family is happy with their own way of doing things and nothing 'bad' will become of it :-) Only in modern western cultures are kids put in their own rooms at a young age anyway, so DON'T feel bad or pressured to conform :-)
Best wishes!
My 4 1/2 year old started waking up at night about a year ago, it seemed to be just a phase. It was every night at exactly 3 am to go to the bathroom and then did not want to go back to bed. My advice....take her back to her bed and lay with her for a little while. If you start letting her back in your room it will only make things worse. They are a lot smarter then we think. After a few nights of repeating the habbit of taking her back to her bed, it seemed to get better. As for VPK, maybe it would be a good thing. Instead of her feeling she is being replaced by your grand-daugter, she may feel better about herself being a "big girl" and going to school. I have a 2 year old as well and when I sent my 4 year old to VPK, everything changed for the better. Emma (4yr old) gets 3 hours a day, five days a week, to be herself among other 4 yr olds. She is so proud of the pictures she makes me, how she is learning all her letters, their sounds, and put them together to form a word. She is learning so much and by me praising her for everything she does at school, it makes her feel very special. I think putting her in VPK was the best thing I could do for her. Her behavior has actually improved. The only other advice I have for a 4 1/2 year old is POSITIVE reinforcement at ALL TIMES. All day I tell her, I'm so proud of you for handling that right with your sister, I'm so proud of your artwork and your letters and numbers, I'm so proud of what a good good girl you have been, I love you so much and your so special to me. I must say these things 100 times a day, everyday, day and night. Her behavior has done a complete turn around. I'm just another Mom, but thats my advice. As for the accidents and waking up in the night, I hope it just passes. It did for us!
M.
