A.J.
I really do not know. You sound like a responsible parent who makes your son take responsibility for his actions. I think it is brilliant that he talks to daddy on the phone and gives a behavior report. I do this also. I think it is vital to incorporate both parents when it comes to things such as this.
You cannot rush maturity. So don't stress over trying to. He does sound like a bright boy and certainly intelligence can lead to this type of behavior. Do you know what kind of learner he is? Does he learn best by physically doing things, observing, listening? Many children learn through a variety of methods, but one is almost always prominent. I ask because my son is a kinesthetic learner. This means that he needs constant physical stimulation in order to learn best. To the untrained eye it may be confused with hyperactivity or defiance. Thank God he has a preschool teacher that understands this learning style and does not punish him for it.
Here is a link describing learning styles
http://www.learning-styles-online.com/style/physical-bodi...
Perhaps this may be the issue. If not you can pm me and I can go at it from a different angle. Good luck.
A.