3Yr Old Telling Little Lies

Veggie Tales has a movie that is really cute and address the lies and little lies really good! It is called Larry boy and the fib from outerspace. It is very cute and I think it will get the point across. Good luck!

It's extremely common at this age. They do not know what a "lie" is - you have to teach them. Preschoolers often say what they wish to have happened or what you want to hear because they want to make you happy. They are also developing their sense of humor (or rather major lack thereof) and don't fully understand what "teasing" is.

For example... someone can tell them "there's a frog on your head", when they look up, they are told "just teasing!" and everyone laughs. Well... that wasn't true, was it? Should the person teasing get in trouble for lying? No. So what's the difference between that and saying "mommy said I could do it"? It can take some children a long time (we're talking years here) to figure out the differences between stuff like that.

Of course talk to you child about lying and explain what it is and why it's wrong. Also explain humor. You need to teach your child before you can punish, though... he can't do what he doesn't know and children aren't born knowing this. Just remember that he's only 3 years old and still grasping language. Stress that it's important and won't be tolerated but start off kinda easy and let him know you are there to help him learn and understand.

I don't think you're too worked up. I told my kids very early on that if they say something happened that really didn't happen, it's called lying, and God says don't lie. I even showed them the 10 commandments and let them see that it's actually on there. Also, I told them that lying is not allowed in our house. I heard all those "I was just kidding, I was teasing,....." also, but I made them understand that it was still lying.

Hi J.,
I too am going through this with my 3year old daughter. She don't know better, but when she tells these lies. So we try to correct her, by telling her let us see, lets check it out, I'm gonna look. Or why did you tell me you did this, when you didn't or what not..! Sometimes you gotta explain in short terms that it upsets when they lie...fib, or tell stories. It works sometimes. But be patient. They don't understand.

This is perfectly normal at this age, he's testing how far he can go and "get his way". It's just like anything else, you've got to keep explaining over and over why this is a lie and why it's wrong. Having a consequence for it is okay, but make sure the punishment fits the crime. Just because he said he did go to the potty and he didn't, don't take everything away. Make him sit in time out and then he needs to explain why this is wrong. Goodluck

talk about it, explain what a lie is, and explain that it's not ok. we wrote it on our rules chart as one of our family rules. my son went through that when he was 4... and now he's a very truthful little boy and gets indignant when others tell lies :)

Just ignore them; take care of the problem. So, if he comes out and says I did wipe, say "let me check", look, if he did not, just say, "not good enough" and take him back to the bathroom and do it or have him practice. He is just trying to get his way and when he sees it is not working he will stop.

Does he understand that these are lies? At that age my twin boys didn't understand the difference between truth and lies. Are you connected with a church? The more help you have with this concept, the better. You little one will come to understand what truth is the more people that explain it.

There is a children's book about telling lies. I used to work in a children's bookstore years ago and I can't remember the name, but I bet someone at a bookstore or library could help.

In addition, you need to talk about trust. Talk about the DIFFERENCE between teasing and a lie. Read him the story about the boy who cried "wolf".

Discuss examples.....you told him you'd buy him ice cream as a reward if he cleans his room. Then told him, "just teasing". Talk about his feelings. Teasing is something that is NOT necessarily fact and something that does not cause someone to believe something that is not true.

There are times when you MUST know something in order to take the next step. i.e. Do you have your seatbelt on? Did you pull the door shut? Those are things that could be potentially dangerous if they are not done.

If he did something and said he didn't, IT'S A LIE. Set boundaries on "teasing" and make sure EVERYONE in the family follows the guidelines!

I think sometimes kids lie because they are afraid of getting into trouble. Maybe your reaction to his behavior, such as when he forgets to wipe, etc., causes him to be afraid of angering or upsetting you. Perhaps trying a nonjudgmental approach to his behaviors would take the pressure off him. If he forgets to wipe his butt, casually explain why it's important for him to do it, and be willing to help him if he needs it. I would also get help from a librarian to find books and videos on the topic of honesty and lying.

Don't give him a chance to lie. Don't ask him if he did something if you know he didn't. Given the chance, most people will lie to protect themselves, young children are no different. IF he tells you things like he has washed his hands, and you have reason to doubt it, ignore his response. Have him wash his hands.
I think this is normal behavior since kids don't really understand lies. It is up to us to teach them.
R.

I don't think it is ever to early to let them know that telling a lie is wrong. Just tell him you know it wasn't true and telling lies is wrong because you can't trust him if he tells lies. After a couple of weeks tell him when he lies to you there will be a punishment of some type, like time out for a minute or taking away a toy for half an hour and follow through.

You do have to let him know that not telling the truth is not acceptable, if you don't it will escalate. You really don't want the habit to spill over to school and have him labelled as a liar by teachers.

Start by bringing his attention to how many times he does it. Then acknowledge when he is honest.

I told my then three year old that I could not protect her if she was dishonest. I also told her that she would get in more "trouble" for lying about little things like forgetting to flush or wipe herself than if she just told the truth. She is now sixteen, and still tells little lies, but will usually fess up, because she knows that we don't have alot of respect for liars in our household.

My little boy did that too when he was 3-4yrs old. He's 7 now and its just another phase that came and went. We would just always take a second and explain that he wasn't in trouble but that he needed to stop lying. He would also say he was just teasing so we would just explain it again, everytime he did it, and eventually he stopped. I think most little kids do it at some point to "test the waters" and while a bit tiresome if you just talk to him everytime he does it, it will stop sooner than later. He unfortunately still goes and asks dad for something if i say no, which irks me because half the time his dad will say yes:) but we again explain why he should not do this and we are learning to not answer him until we talk to the other parent and see if they already told him no!!

My son's preschool teacher gave me the greatest advice for this age. I discussed lies to him until I was blue in the face and it didn't work. She said that for some reason the kids don't get the definition about lies. They do understand stories. She did a week lesson of fairy tales and real stories. She read different stories all week long and had them decide if they were real or fairy tales. Then they took turn telling their own stories real and fairy tales. After this week I spent the next month saying "Is that real or fairy tale?" After about a month, he stopped telling the "fairy tales" and most things he came up with was real. It was nice.