3 Yr Old Not Eating or Using Rest Room at Daycare - Help!

I think once she adjusts to the situation things will go back to normal. I would at least give it some time. She is not going to be hurt from not eating or drinking for these few hours as long as she is drinking and eating well at home.

Our 7 yr. old saw "Flushed Away" and would not use ANY toilet for a couple of months. I swear these businesses have no interest in kids. Even the family restrooms at McDonalds and other places have sinks kids can't reach or toilets that they have to be held up to climb on.

She started going after having several accidents and she finally forgot about the rest of it because we didn't mention it again. When she had an accident we just let her get changed and go on about our business.

I would tell the preschool to be sure and just put the food in front of her then ignore her, not reminding her to eat or trying to get her to take a bite. It only reminds her to say no, she'll forget then eat without thinking about it. They can just take note of how much she eats and let you know.

About the bathroom they can just go ahead and take the class at regular time but in this case I would ask them to kind of push the issue. They can tell her she can't do...some thing she likes until she tries to go. They may need to make sure she is alone and has plenty of time. But getting back "on the horse" is probably the quickest way to get her to sit, once she actually sits a few times she is going to be past this.

Also, if she is there for more than 3 hours before lunch they must offer her breakfast or a morning snack. She cannot be there for more than 3 hours and not offered food. My point is she may be eating some of her snack and getting at least something in her stomach.

I own a preschool and a day care so I totally see what you are talking about. For kids that age, a lot of the time (although not for all) it is either; a control issue, fear of the new place without mommy/daddy, or a little of both.
Ultimately for a child, what they eat and when they go to the potty is the only thing they can control and it's also a huge milestone to independence. By not doing these things, going to the potty and eating, she is 'putting her foot down' over possibly not liking this whole new situation and set up. Not that you should pull her out, I would say you will see this happen for possibly a few weeks and she will begin to settle in and realize that it's OK, she likes it, she has friends there, she can play etc etc and she won't continue with the behavior. My son is almost 2 and he refuses to eat anything when he is uncomfortable/scared/nervous etc. I send him to the day care and he gives the girls a hard time over eating. But even at two I know that, that is how he reacts, he simply refuses to open his mouth to put food in it.
Hang in there, it will get better. She may even be making the connection that if she doesn't do these things she is supposed to do, then she won't have to stay or mommy will come get me, she won't have to participate (she is very blatantly showing she isn't interested in whatever they are trying) and in the end she might not have to go if she doesn't eat or go to the potty.
Speak to the staff and make sure they don't use it as a bribery thing or negatively reinforce it with her, like saying...if you don't eat, you won't get to play etc. It seems like a great idea but it will only increase her anxiety or wanting to control the situation.
Hope that helps some!

For the toilets, I place a piece of toilet paper over the sensor. It tricks the sensor into not flushing. I even put it on the non-sensor ones to make my 4y happy.

As for the not eating, she probably figures that if she doesn't eat, she won't have to use the potty. Conquer the potty issue, it should solve the food issue.

Three is a stubborn age, soundslike she is just adjusting in her own way to her new form of childcare. It took my son 3 weeks before he stopped crying when I dropped him off. Now he begs me to take him even on his days off from pre school. Hang in there and keep talking to your daughter to see what is really going on with her.