3 Yr Old Daughters Beta Fish Died...

At two and three the fish died and went to fish heaven. He will like it there.
Very him. Keep it simple. Chances are it won't even register. Out of sight out of mind.

Start as you want to go forward: bury the fish. This acknowledges that the fish's life had some value, and models respect for other creatures, especially ones who live in our home with us. You really don't want a 'body' go down the toilet anyway. It's less about traumatizing and more about honoring your kid's connection with the pet.

Brian Mellonie has a great book called "Lifetimes: The Beautiful way to explain death the children". I highly recommend it. It's not of any particular faith, just very matter of fact that "there is being born and then there dying and the living is in between". That said, I'd only offer this book if questions are being asked...don't make it any bigger or smaller than your kids need it to be, if you know what I mean. Kids are very good at voicing their concerns at this age (they are not known for editing themselves) so if your daughter has questions or wants to draw a picture for fishy, do be responsive, but also let her lead on this as much as possible without offering over-much in the way of choices.

When my daughter's fish died we put him in a little box and buried him in the back yard. I let her pick out the box and the spot and I think it made it less traumatic for her.

My 12 year old's betta fish died recently, also. She had had him for nearly 2 years. She was pretty upset. She found him dead at the bottom before she left for school.

I waited until she got home that afternoon, and we fished it out of the bottom and folded it up in a paper towel, and then she, my husband and I went out to the back yard, dug a small hole and buried him. We said a prayer. And that was it.

She was very receptive to a big, warm, hug, (graveside) and then we went back inside to start dinner.

It is a good idea to acknowledge the loss, and even have a small "ceremony," but be careful not to make it TOO big of a deal. It was a fish. Not a person. It's okay, normal and even good that your child mourns its loss. But making it into a bigger drama than it needs to be just promotes drama over small things.

Acknowledge, hug, move on.
The circle of life.

If you can, I suggest you bury it and say a few words. That's how we handled it at around the same age. We didn't hide it. Good luck.

You don't have to give the fish a water burial, although the thought sounds more appropriate. Fishy won't mind being buried in the yard. You can explain to the children that God gives some of His creatures shorter lives than others, and that fish sometimes have very short lives. But we love them every day that we can, and we do our best to make all their days good ones.

Don't flush it in front of your child. She could start having nightmares about sitting on the toilet.

There are books at the library to help explain this. Ask your librarian.

"When a Pet Dies" by Mr. Rogers is an example.

Do not flush it down the toilet ---a 3 yr old is not sure what is real and what is not real when it comes to death--- at that little age. This could be too scary! The toilet will be a scary thing...Your 3 yr old may not want to go in there because if that could happen to the fish, a 3 yr old would think it could happen him/her. Three is just to young to fully understand!

So sorry you lost your fish !

If it were me, I would bury in the backyard if possible. I agree with the flushing/potty training thing. My son is potty training now and I think he would be freaked out if we flushed the fish. Depends on the kid, though.
My 11 year old has a Beta fish. He is such a sensitive boy, that when the fish dies, I know we will have to bury it and have a ceremony. No way would he be ok with flushing it.
I would keep it simple with the explanation. Fishy went to fish heaven. Its a happy place.....

I have a three year old and kept it simple. Then again it was pretty simple. I killed the entire Fin Family. Good job, momma. :( What I told him when he asked is that the fish were sick because their water was too cold. They can't live that way and so they died which means they are no longer alive. I know it all sounds so circular but he seemed fine with that explanation. I let him lead the conversation and answered whatever he asked. He seemed fine with the explanation. We did flush them down the toilet only because our house is in utter disarray due to moving/renovating. He did not seem the slightest bit bothered by the toilet flushing. Then again each kid is different and each family is different. We did what worked for us and we let him ask the questions on his mind. He did ask one or two questions over the following week. Overall it was a matter of fact experience. Good luck.

Our cat had kittens on Veterans Day. Unfortunately, 3 were stillborn. Our 5 yr old wanted to know why they died. We explained that sometimes this happens--though probably easier for us since she was not able to see them really. And then we buried them in the yard. 2 weeks later, another died. He did not really eat and was weak from the beginning. We told her he was really sick and also buried him. This spring we will make a plaque/walking stone to put in the yard on top of where they are.

I also suggest not flushing. A friend's son refused to use any toilet when his dad flushed 2 goldfish. He was 2 and just finished potty training..

We flushed the fish that died when we had the aquarium. However, daughter was older when we had the fish and she had already experienced the loss of one of our dogs which was very different from a fish.

For our pets, 1 rabbit, 3 dogs have passed away so far, their bodies were picked up at the vet office by a pet cemetery location, they were cremated and delivered by to the vet office and when we received them back, we had a ceremony and they are all on my fireplace mantle to this day. The pet cemetery is very good and with each pet that passes away, they send brochures on the loss of a family pet along with a pretty certificate with the pet's name, a copy of the Rainbow Bridge poem, and usually a small votive candle or silk white rose. They are each in a cedar box (LOCKED) and their name is engraved on a plaque on the top of the box.

That is probably way to much info for your case. If you feel uncomfortable flushing the fish, just bury him in the yard and say a few words.

I would have concerns about flushing with young children of toilet training age. I think it might be traumatizing for them. I'm sorry I don't have any specific titles available, but there are a variety of books for children about loss and death, including loss of pets. I would check your local library or look online for a book to help. Or maybe a local vet clinic would have suggestions.

I don't remember how we disposed of our Beta fish when they died, but my kids were older. I think we might have wrapped them up and put them in the trash. I don't know if that's any less traumatizing, but given the ages of your children I just wondered about potty training. A lot of kids have issues with flushing anyhow at that stage in life. Good luck!

We just flushed fish, none of the kids cared. No one asked, nothing. Fish really aren't the kind of pets kids get real vested in...beings you can't pet them or touch them or dress them in your doll's clothes.