3 Year Old Won't Poop in the Potty

Hi D.,
Same exact thing happened to me and my now 5 year old.He would not poop on potty, and would throw a fit when I asked him. I talked to my pediatrician and he said don't force it, it will only backfire. We put him in underwear and when he had to poop he asked for a pull up. Otherwise he would hold it in! So one day after weeks of this, he said "daddy I want to poop on the potty." And, from that day on, he pooped on the potty. He was 3 1/2 btw. My advise would be let him take the lead. He will go when he is ready! Good luck.

I would first relax! My girlfriend just went through this not that long ago with her son. She realized the more anxious she got the more he resisted, even when they were faking the smile and encouragement. They tried reading a book while he sat on the potty (when they knew he had to go). It seemed to work for them. Just an idea....keep it a relaxing environment.

is he scared of it? My daughter was scared to poop in the potty at my grandma's, for whatever reason, so when I had to go, I brought her in the bathroom and went in front of her, then she finally went because she wanted to be like mommy. Maybe if you arent comfortable going in front of your son, your husband would?

My youngest son did the same thing! He peed but would not poop in the potty. He would go as far as to get one of his Pull ups and put it on himself to go #2 . So I quit buying them completely. The thing that finally worked for us...I took him to the dollar store and let him pick a bunch of items, brought them home and put them in a huge gift bag (or you could use a basket, whatever they all fit in). I think I spent around $30. Every time he went poop in the potty, he got to choose something from the basket. By the time we only had a few items left, he was completely potty trained. Once the dollar toys were gone and he went a week with no accidents, he got a "special" toy....he had been wanting a $10 airplane from Walmart for awhile, so that's what he chose. If there's nothing in particular your son wants, you could just take him to pick out a new toy. We had tried everything also (stickers, etc). But I think what worked with this was that HE chose all of the rewards and wanted to play with them. Since he picked them out, he was anxious to have them so it was the extra motivation he needed. Good luck. This brought back memories of how frustrating that time was! I didn't think it would ever end, but it does. Hang in there!

i saw a number of kids do this back when i was working in the learning center!

i think the most useful think that i tried was to put on a diaper sideways. Like, one leg hole around the waist and the other right by the butt, almost like a skirt, and then have him sit on the potty. that way his butt is out for the potty, but he still have the FEELING of a diaper on.

sometimes its just a comfort thing. i know it sounds silly, but if someone told you suddenly, "oh, by the way, you need to start peeing and pooping in your pants now." odds are it would take time, and you would probably be more comfortable sitting on the toilet and peeing through your underwear and then taking them off afterward, right?

its the same general concept, try offering him the compromise and working up to no more diapers at all.

the more extreme route is to just get rid of the diapers all together and tell him, tough tooshie, its time to do it! if he poops his pants, make sure he cleans it up. a lot of kids find that it just isnt worth the hassle.

Hi D.,

Not much I can add, generally they will do it when they are ready, not much point in trying to force things.

That said, I recall hearing of one little girl being trained to poop in the toilet by her parents telling her that her poops would like to go swimming! (the little girl loved swimming, herself) Now I can't say how that would go if a kid thinks the toilet is flushing away part of him/herself.....

Another idea is to have him observe a peer pooping in the toilet--neighbor child, cousin, family friend, whatever. He may think "Well, if s/he can do it so can I".

It's good he is able to communicate with you that he wants the diaper, rather than just messing up his underwear!!

fwiw, my oldest wasn't consistently doing both in the toilet until somewhere between 3.25 yo and 3.5 yo. And he was quite advanced in other respects (colors, vocab, right/left, etc--yes, I know I am biased!). But once he was trained there was little or no regression--not even at the birth of little bro when he was 3.5 and little bro being in hospital for 3.5 days soon after birth, and a move to a new state 5 weeks after that.

Hang in there. Maybe you should keep a journal of your efforts--in any case it will be fun to share with him if he has kids one day!

K. Z.

I don't really have an answer as we went through the exact same thing with our son. Except he would go everyday at daycare but would throw a fit if we tried to get him to do it anywhere else! It was so frustrating because we KNEW he was able to. Stickers, offers of cupcakes or large future rewards like going on a train ride were offered. Finally, he just decided to do it, in the middle of his birthday party. He announced he was going to go poop and started up the stairs. It just had to be on his terms.

We had this problem with our 4 yr old. We didn't get him to decide to poop in the potty until we told him he couldn't go to school because he didn't poop in the potty. His dr also told us to take something away that he really liked, since it was something that would be considered a "big boy toy".
He will do it when he's ready, I know it's very VERY frustrating. Good luck and try and keep sane :)

OMG! We are in the exact same boat as you right now! And we got him to poop on the potty with no problems yesterday by bribing him...lol. No other bribes were working and cleaning up poop out of his underwear was really getting old. My son is obsessed with trains. Kirtland has train rides and is really cool. The kids sit on top of the train and it goes around the track. So my husband went to the website and called our son over to look on the computer. My son got all excited and said "I want to ride the snoopy train". We then pretended to read some rules that said that you have to poop and pee on the potty or you cannot ride this train. Immediately he kept sitting on the potty trying (with no fear). And he finally went last night! With my daughter, I told her she couldn't join ballet until she was potty trained and that worked too. Girls are so much easier though. Bribes....LOL!

My son wouldn't poop either for a long time. We started calling poop, Potty Plops. After that he was pooped trained with a few accidents here and there. maybe change the name of it so its less embarrassing.

There really isn't an answer. My grandson did the same thing. He will go when HE is ready. He was doing great with potty training but just would not poop in the toilet. One day after a year of doing this he just went in and pooped in the toilet. He came out very proud of himself and told his mommy. And every day since he has pooped in the toilet. Everyone kept telling us that one day you will wake up and he will just start pooping in the toilet. It's true!! We all were thrilled that it finally happened. So pateince is the key! Good Luck! I hope it happens sooner rather than later.