3 Year Old Went from Fully Potty Trained to Not at All

Updated on February 20, 2008
C.R. asks from Wharton, TX
18 answers

Even at night she would wake up an go but all of a sudden she is having accidents every night and 2-3 everyday. Do I go back to diapers or keep doing the laundry?

The only change has been that I quit my job to be a SAHM. Which I thought would be a good thing not cause a backslide.

What can I do next?

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K.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Just a phase keep up the laundry - go to a resale shop and stock up on easy little dresses that hang down over her "privates" and go pantiless for a few days. You will have her back to normal in no time- or leave the panties on and just change her over and over again - this too shall pass.

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S.J.

answers from Austin on

Hi my son also went throught this same thing. The pediatrition said no don't put them back in diapers. Because the child will feel like they have been defeted. So I got a tiny gumball machine. My son LOVES M&M's so I filled it whith them and then put it where he could see it but not reach it. I put pennys by the potty and told him everytime he went he could have a penny and get some M&m's. This worked wonders. He's been accident free for 6 months now.

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A.L.

answers from Houston on

start an incentive program/trasure box for each dry day or night after ruling out an infection or trauma. it will work guanteed. fill the treasure box withstuff she can't resist.

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K.E.

answers from Houston on

Has anything changed in household that might have contributed to this setback?

One thing that worked for me was having my daughter take off her wet garments when she had an accident...they don't like that.

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S.B.

answers from Killeen on

Eesh. I had trouble GETTING my son potty trained but now he's wonderful at it. I know the laundry gets tiring, believe me, I was pottytraining while I was VERY pregnant. But you've gotta keep them in underwear unless you're making a long trip or going somewhere. You want to avoid public embarrassment for you and your child. When you get to where you're going see if she needs to go. (I always sat him down on the pot even if he said he didn't need to) Usually he went anyway. If she doesn't then and her diaper is still dry reuse it til you get home. If it's wet then just get on to her softly. Take her diaper off when you get home and just make sure you're taking her potty at least every 45 minutes or so. I know they say to take them more often but I think the longer you wait the better..I did some experimenting and 45 mins was perfect for mine. Do some with yours and see when the peak time to potty is.

But keep those underwear in use. They're helping her to learn.

J.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi C.,

If this has happened for several days in a row (let's say 4 or more), call and speak with your Pediatrician's office. They will probably want to see her and evaluate if she has a medical issue such as a Urinary Tract Infection. Don't be alarmed! If something is happening, it may very well be easily treated.

There could be other issues as some moms suggested, but that is the best place to start. That way you know your daughter is well and your Pedi can help you talk through what else might be happening.

How long has she been totally trained? If its only been a month or two, it could simply be a slight regression.

Once the situation is investigated, take what other actions you feel necessary AND you may need to spend several days at home reinforcing the Potty habits - drinking lots of fluids and going potty often.

Good luck,
J. B
Parent Coach

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E.H.

answers from Houston on

We have recently experienced the same situations with both of my grandsons, who are both now four. My daughter in law consulted her Pedi and after an exam and tests nothing was found wrong. She did tell my DIL that if the child doesn't get enough rest, when he is asleep (in his sleep zone) he is fully out of it and has no control. I explained this to my daughter for her son also. Since they have been resting/sleeping more, it has not happened.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi C., I am a childcare provider. Just by going by what you have said, If you recnetly quit your job to be a SAHM that means your daughter was in some kind of daycare program while you worked outside the home.Depending on how long she was in a daycare program when you quit your job, you interupted her routine. If she was used to being with other kids and now she doesn't have that anymore. It is a proven fact that kids crave routine. Hope this info helps

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

Of course it is a WONDERFUL thing for you to be a stay at home mommy. But it is different and it may take a little time for both of you to get used to that. My children have had some setbacks too. I wouldn't put her back in diapers but you might want to get some training pants that look like panties. There are some really nice ones available online. Don't giver her anything after dinner to drink. IF she still pees at night you might want to get up and usher her to the bathroom during the night.

Make sure you give her lots of praises!

S., mom to four girls, two of them (age 4 and 2 3/4) potty training, one potty trained a year ago and one is still in diapers

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E.W.

answers from Beaumont on

Don't go back to diapers!Just keep potting training!Put her in time when she pottys on her self during the day!

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R.N.

answers from Odessa on

Hi C.~
Has something in her life changed or has she been sick? I 've seen my children temporarily revert after both; especially after being sick. New school? Strife at home? New schedule with anyone in the home? Move? New babysitter? Their little systems can be so sensitive to any type of change; big or small.

Best,
R.

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J.S.

answers from Austin on

NEVER go back to diapers! I know it sucks doing all that laundry, but it will only confuse her and she will want to stay in diapers. If she was fully potty trained for some time, then this is just a lapse or brain fart. Since you are home now, it might be a cry for attention. Be sure to let her know that you do NOT like it when she pees in her pants or in her bed. Try to reward her, not with food, when she goes all day without an accident. Make going potty as fun as possible. Make her go sit on the potty every hour to hour and a half. Like I said before, NO DIAPERS! Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Austin on

Definitely make sure nothing has happened that might have upset her - at school, at home or elsewhere. It may be nothing but it may also be a sign of emotional distress.

It is possible that now that you are at home, she has regressed with the comfort of being taken care of by mom. If that's the case, I'm sure she'll get back to where she was very soon.

Good luck!

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L.G.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi C.,

Although we're not there yet, I wonder if the sudden change from being around other kids her age has affected her a bit. I notice my 2 year old really does well with the "peer pressure" of wanting to imitate what friends do. She might be reacting to this change.

You might also consider how independent you're allowing her to be. For example, did she pick up her own toys at school, and are you requiring the same of her at home? Sometimes kids take the easy way out. For her, maybe she feels that she has more attention than she had at school and maybe she wants to see if she can get you to baby her more now that she's not one among many. She's probably just testing the waters in the new situation to see where her boundaries are with you. From everything I've read this is a perfectly normal and healthy thing for a child to do (test boundaries).

If you aren't sure what her previous routine was like, maybe you should talk to the teachers at her school and find out what she was able to do there. My m-i-l was a teacher for years and said that kids are more capable of being independent than most parents give them credit for - perhaps we're reluctant to let them grow up? :-)

I would keep up the positive reinforcement and encourage her to keep using the potty. Be perfectly neutral and matter of fact about her "accidents" but praise her for going to the potty. I probably wouldn't go back to pull-ups during the day unless this is the case. I'd also enlist her help in cleaning up her messes (of course, matter-of-factly, not to shame her) to show her why she needs to use the potty.
Maybe getting excited about putting a sticker on a chart every time she successfully used the potty each day will also help reinforce the behavior you'd like to see more of.

I also wouldn't rule out a medical reason - if it continues you might want to have a conversation with her pediatrician. She might have a urinary tract infection or something.

Wow ... we have so many miles to go yet. Best of luck in getting her back on track!

Smiles,
L.

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L.D.

answers from Houston on

Having accidents at night isn't much of an issue. many children are bed wetters. There is a product called a potty pager. You can google it. Great product. As far as accidents during the day. Not sure about that one. You may want to consult your doctor. Maybe she has a bladder infection.

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A.L.

answers from Beaumont on

You may find out what her caregiver was doing with her during the day. 3 year olds are sensitive, I'm sure the change, even a good one, is affecting her. Maybe her caregiver had her on a schedule or had a potty system she was used to. Or maybe it's just that her little life has changed and she's a bit confused. I'm sure it will all go back to normal soon.

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J.C.

answers from Houston on

My son did the same thing. It was like over night he forgot how to use the potty. We did not go back to diapers. We thought this might be encouraging his actions. We reverted back to consistently going to the potty and going before bed. I have to say that little ones do tend to change their habits when things in their routine change. He did adjust and has been doing great since.

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P.A.

answers from Houston on

Dear C.,
first thing I would check is a possiblity of a urinary track infection. You never know. Also talking to her to see if there is anything upsetting her.
Good luck.

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