I am a single mom, my son has always slept with me and he also nurses to sleep sometimes and will nurse at night when he wakes up. Since we co-sleep I think the nursing habit has been much harder to kick! I am looking for advice from other mothers that have co-slept and.or nursed into the toddler/preschool years. I do want to end the nursing and all need advice on that.
He has his own room, with toys etc in there. We have tried a toddler bed, he didn't go for it so I was thinking of getting twin bed for him. Right now there is now bed in his room. Was thinking of trying a mattress on the floor?? Any suggestions of things that worked or didn't work - Thanks in advance!!
Thanks for all the advice. Yes, I think weaning is the first step, then sleeping alone. Thanks for those suggestions, and to Kendall, Nursing does not make the child less independent, or a "Ninnie" baby as you stated in your message to me. Raising children is an individual thing...you need to be more understanding of others.
mattress on the floor of your room.
Explain he can be there.
Does he have a lovey or loveys?
Also let him have a sippy cup of water, in bed with him.
My daughter is 5.5 y/o and self weaned about a year ago. She still wants to co-sleep. I'm trying not to suddenly evict her from my bed because I don't think that is the right way to go about it. She's old enough now to understand more and we've talked about how when the baby comes in a few months she will need to be in her own special bed.
Personally I don't see the big deal with children co-sleeping or nursing past 3 y/o. This is something that is short term in the scheme of your parenting a minor, and a phase that will never come back.
For the weaning, I think it's time for you to just tell him that he can't have it any more. My brother in law's mom nursed his sister until she was 3, and now she's my age and has told me numerous times that she wishes her mom weaned her sooner. She hates that she remembers breastfeeding and is embarrassed by it when her mom tells people. She was also single and co-slept, so it was just easy to keep nursing. It won't be easy to wean him--but it will only get harder as he gets older. It is your body, and you have the right to re-claim it and to get a full nights' sleep. It's just like when a 3 year old throws a tantrum over anything else, you should never give in because it makes them the authority figure in the relationship.
I think first you need to end the nursing. That will be much easier than the co-sleeping. I nursed my son for a long time too, just before bed. I would wait until he would ask. Then I would say, ok, 10 seconds. Then I would count to 10. Then the next night I said 5 seconds. Then the next night I said 2 seconds. The next night he didn't ask and he never did after that. As for the co-sleeping, that will be a very hard habit to break. Is there a reason you don't want to continue that? Don't be too hard on yourself.
We coslept with my daughter until she about two or so. At first we bought her a toddler bed and put it next to our bed. That way she could get used to sleeping in her own bed but still be near us. Then after a few weeks, we moved the bed to her room and said it was her room to have because she was such a big girl. I showed her that she could set up all her stuffed animals next to her, and for a while she had a whole bedful of stuffed animals next to her "to watch over her." Then we started our bedtime routine in her room on her bed (instead of our bed); we did bath time and reading in her bed. At first I had to sit with her a while and rub her back a little, then tell her goodnight and leave. She had a nightlight and we left the door open a crack. It took some time, and I always had to put her back in her bed if she got up, but she did get used to it.
She was already weaned by then, though, so I'm not sure how weaning will affect your son's transition to his own room. Maybe try to wean him first and have him sleep on his own bed in your room, then once he stops waking up to nurse then transition him to his own room. With my son, I weaned him by rocking him to sleep at night and putting him down after that. I would rock him instead of nursing him (and gave him a stuffed animal to comfort him) and eventually he stopped nursing. He was only 18 months, though, so I'm not sure if it'll be different for your son since he's older, but I thought I'd share my experience with you anyway. Good luck!
I nursed dd till she was 22 months and co-slept till she was 3. I would have let her keep sleeping w/ me but she was terrible to sleep with!! Always on me!! Ugh.
I put her right in a single bed. We read a story and then I would turn on her CD player (lullaby CD) and her light up ladybug (from Cloud B, truly awesome) and for a few weeks I stayed w/ her till she fell asleep. Then I told her it was time to start to go to sleep by herself. I read the story (laying in bed w/ her) and then put on the lullaby CD and we snuggled fro 2 songs. Then I got out of bed and moved to sit on the floor by her bed till she fell asleep. This let her be comfortable falling asleep in her own bed w/ me close by. Yes, it took a long time (sometimes an hour!!) but I don't like CIO. After a few weeks of this instead of going to sit on the floor, I left. We still did story and snuggles, but then I left. I would go back a few times and answer questions. I would let her come out a few times and ask questions, but that's it. Then I would tell her that she is not to get out of bed again and I'm not talking anymore tonight because it's bedtime. I didn't like the idea of just ignoring her after I left, but there has to be a limit to how much I will keep letting her stall. We still do this and she is now 5. She also still uses her light up ladybug. You may want to look into something like it for your son. It can help keep him from being scared. They have a turtle and a sea turtle one. They put stars up on the ceiling and walls and shut off after 45 min.
During the night she would try and come sleep w/ me in spurts. I realized if I let her come in for more than one night, she would be back the next. It was so hard to get up and walk her back to her room cause I'm tired and want to stay in bed, but in the long run it was for the best. She will still occasionally come in my room at night, and that's ok. As long as she spends most of her nights in her room so I can get some sleep too!
I nursed my son til he was almost 3. I always had him start the night in his crib but then he'd come in with me. At around 18 months I stopped letting him nurse at night. I wore a full length night gown to bed so that he could not find his way in too easily and I started telling him "night time is for sleeping" He was allowed all the cuddling he wanted. After a couple weeks he stopped asking for milk and not too long after that he stopped calling for me in the night.
