My son has been enrolled in classes (Gymboree & Gym Kids) since he was 6 mos. old. We've never had a problem with going, and he & I both look forward to going. For the past month (since he turned 3), he has cried & thrown a fit about going into his gym classes (2 a week). Nothing traumatic has happened to him in either class, nor is anything going on at home. He just says there are too many kids, and he tells me this after an hour of throwing a fit. I tell him we're going to leave if he doesn't go into class, and I've taken him home every time. I've tried reasoning, bribing, forcing, guilting, ignoring, yelling, spanking...anything, you name it. We just end up making a scene, and then we leave.
This week I'm going to try a different approach...making it seem like it doesn't bother me. I'll give him 3 chances, and then we go home. I'm also going to let him sit there for 3-5 minutes for him to watch the class to show him how much fun he is missing. I'm a teacher who has worked with kids for almost 15 years, so I'm pretty consistent.
Has anyone ever been through this? Does anyone else have any other suggestions? I'm not going to take him out of class because I don't want to show him that quitting is ok, but I'm also not going to force him.
EDIT: I'm a little upset at some of the comments that I've already gotten. Yes, I did ask for opinions, but I thought I made it clear that my son has loved going to these classes. He is a sports nut, so he is enrolled in a sports & karate class. He absolutely loves them. It's just been a weird thing he's going through recently.
Also, I do think that kids can understand things like "quitting". I'm a model for my child, and I do not want to model quitting. That's the easy way out. That's for a parent who doesn't want to work at something & try to fix it. Like I said, I'm going to try to understand what's really going on and fix it...NOT GIVE UP ON IT. If I quit now, then that will teach him "If I throw a fit long enough, she'll give in". And that's exactly what I don't want to teach him.
I took him to his sports class this morning. We talked about his behavior the whole weekend. He fussed a bit, but I actually got him in the class room today. After watching everyone else have fun, he finally went and joined them. He ended up having a blast...like he always does.
EDIT on 4/23: My son is doing great at all of his classes. It just seems like it was a phase for him.
Shouldn't all classes be fun? Seems to me like you might be forcing him too much. I agree with someone else who posted that you should ask him if he wants to go, and if he says no then pass on it. He's still too young to understand any concept of "quitting" or "giving up". It should all still be fun right now, and if you have to "convince him" to go then he shouldn't be going.
I agree with Ginger on that he is too young to get the concept of quitting. The next time you have to go, ask him if he wants to go have fun at gym and if he says no, then don't go. If he says yes, then go. You should make him understand that gym class is a privilege, not an obligation (unlike school). My son went through the same thing at Gym Kids. He did not want to be there a couple of times, so I would ask him the same thing before we went. I let him know that it was supposed to be a fun time for him and that I only went for his benefit.
If your son says he doesn't want to go, withdraw from the class. It sounds like it may be more trouble than it's worth. After all, it is supposed to be fun for him. Plus, if he says there are too many kids, it may be overstimulating for him at this point for some reason.
Good luck!
M.
EDIT:
I guess I should have made my agreement with Ginger more clear. I do understand that a 3 year old can "get" quitting in the sense of not trying again, etc. on getting a task accomplished, etc. However, I don't think a 3 year old comprehends that you have paid for a semester-long gym class and you would like him to finish out the semester. I would assume that is what the other moms meant too. I think it is the overall opinion that if your son is not enjoying something as meaningless a gym class, then why force him to go and participate? You will be wasting time and money.
It sounds like you are bound and determined to get him to go and I doubt you will find many moms who will be able to tell you how to force a 3 year old to participate in class that is solely meant for fun. If it is only meant for fun and he doesn't want to do it, then why would you want to find a way to make him like it? Perhaps he senses your strong desire for him to participate and is rebelling against you. That is why, again, I said to ask him if he wants to go. You have to make it clear that this is a privilege and you only take him so that he can have fun. If he chooses not to go to have fun, that is his choice. Were not talking about an 8 year old who doesn't want to go to class!
I don't think they get the lesson about quitting things this young. The same thing happened with our daughter. I tried to get her to participate for about 3 sessions before I accepted we had entered a new phase. This started when she was about 2 months past 3. She just turned 4 and we have not exited this phase. She will not play organized games - no soccer, gym, classes or even games at larger birthday parties. I do believe it's a personality difference so I try to be encouraging but not forcing. My advice is not to waste money right now on enrollment fees. I am hoping this phase ends this year - I'll be interested to see posts from other Moms who are farther along.
If your son has been attending since he was 6 months old, he truly never asked for these classes. Now, at three years old, he is articulate enough and has experienced these classes enough, to let you know his desires. This is not quitting. This is his way of letting you know he no longer desires this kind of program. Give him, and yourself, a break. Let him be less scheduled for awhile. You can begin to introduce other activities later. He'll let you know what's fun for him and what he wants to pursue. As a parent of older kids I can tell you, the kids will soon become more involved in more activities than you can imagine.
