3 Year Old Not Wanting to Go to Babysitter, Is This Normal?

Updated on April 27, 2009
S.B. asks from Colorado Springs, CO
4 answers

Hey ladies! Thanks in advance for any advise or experiences that you can share with me - there's always so many helpful thoughts on this site! Over the past few months, my 3yo daughter says that she doesn't want to go to the babysitters when I work. I'm really just wondering if this is normal for this age, or if I should be concerned or looking for another place to take them (also my 1.5yo son). Here's some background that might make a difference:
We tried another sitter down the street from us for about six months, but we had difficulty in coordinating my crazy work schedule with her, so we went back to our pervious sitter who is more flexible. When we used to go to our sitter, my daughter never seemed to mind going (she was age 18months through age 2.5). After trying the other sitter, and then going back she now says that she doesn't want to go. I only work 1 or 2 days a week, so that is usually the most they are at the sitter's house. I guess my thoughts are that this sitter is less structured, and takes only drop-ins or very part-time families, so many days my kids are the only kids there. My daughter is very excited for preschool next fall and wants to go as soon as she can, so I think she just wants more structure and more friends to play with, and that is maybe why she says she doesn't want to go to this sitter. When I have asked why she doesn't want to go, she tells me either that she wants to stay home with mom or dad, or that there are no friends there. But when I drop them off, she goes straight to playing, doesn't mind when I leave, and is always fine when we pick her up too.
So does anyone think that this is just normal for her age (just turned 3 in March), or should I look for something more structured and with more kids, which is what I think she wants more? My biggest delima if I were to look for something else is that my work schedule changes a lot, or I plan a day of daycare but then get put on-call and end up not needing a sitter at all - the lady I am using right now will still hang out at home and be available in case I do get called in, but if I don't use her she doesn't charge me a thing!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Casper on

Maybe have her teacher talk to her about it in the middle of the day while you're not there?

Also for your 1.5 yr old, I would say not to switch as the change is very confusing for babies. They develop attachments which actually affects the way their brain communicates with itself. The more you break these attachments the harder they are to form, and the more the two hemispheres disconnect. With that in mind, I would ask your daughter to please stick it out for a few months, and try to find ways to help her play with other children on your days off. See if there is a MOPS group in your area, that way you're not committed, but you can go if you are off. Good luck, I hope it all works out.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.P.

answers from Provo on

My son is 5 years old and asks me everyday if he gets to go to kindergarten. I just think that he is a little more social than my other children. It sounds like your daughter is just growing up like she is supposed to. I really do think that switching to another sitter would not make a difference. She is giving her preference and that is great.
Your child will learn a lot from you and your actions all the way through her life. It sounds like she is well adjusted and feels comfortable at the sitters. Every morning my son gives me a hug and says, "I just want to stay with you and not go to preschool." The grass always seems greener some where else especially when your young.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Dallas on

I think you have got a GREAT sitter as she is willing to work with your schedule. In my experience, my kids acted the same way around that age when it came time to go to the sitters house. It sounds like your daughter is just getting bored and preschool can't come soon enough.

She'll get through it and you'll get through it. Before you know it, your kids will want to be somewhere other than home!

Have a GREAT day!

S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.D.

answers from Denver on

I think it's pretty normal for kids to prefer to be home rather than at a sitters. There do not seem to be any red flags; your daughter sounds like she's comfortable enough, going right in and playing. If you switch sitters, I suspect you'll just hear more of the same. It sounds like this set-up really fits your needs. I'm sure she'll be fine, just keep talking to her about it to make sure there is nothing going on that you should be concerned about. Good luck!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions