3 Year Old Doesn't Understand How to Release Her Urine

Just tell her to relax. Get her a special potty time book and this will help her relax. Be gentle and make it all a fun game.

sit down with her on her training potty and you on the "grown up" toilet- as you feel your body about to release the urine/poop, explain to her how it feels. I tell my daughter: relax, do you feel the "tickle"?? let your pee come out..." and she fills her potty... All I tell my daughter to do is "make some poo-poo in your potty...." and she'll go in her potty.... but, I talk to her about her body all the time and how it works and what things feel like..... She actually initiated using her potty. I haven't formally started "training" her, but she gets the idea and it's there if she wants to use it. Otherwise, she wears a diaper. I don't think she's quite ready to be in panties yet.

Your daugher could need a distraction too. When she's sitting on the toilet just talk to her- or even better- create a potty time song.

(To the tune of Tinkle, Tinkle, Little Star )

Tinkle, tinkle, little tot

Sitting there upon the pot.

Any second now, you'll see ...

Sprinkle, spash and you'll go pee!

... and to entertain them while they're sitting and waiting for something to happen

(To the tune of On Top Of Old Smokey )

On top of my potty

I sit and I wait

I know what I'm making...

Is going to be great!

I don't recommend ever forcing a child to the toilet as this can backfire, seriously. Especially when the new baby comes- it's likely she'll regress and act out. BTW- Being able to hold her urine/poop all day can cause damage to her bladder. I would seriously consider putting her back into a diaper during the day till she starts to understand how to "release" her pee and poop.

If you have any friends with toddlers around her age either potty trained, or starting to potty train- ask the other mom if you guys can do a potty bootcamp together over a weekend where your daughter can learn from the other child. Children often want to do what other children are doing- so it may be motivating for her.

Try to make it fun- she wants to please you, but can't if she doesn't know how- or if she's afraid of your response.

good luck

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Unfortunately the holding her down screaming might have set you back a bit in the potty training game. At this point she's probably tense about the potty and feels out of control when she's on it.

To get her to feel that relaxed release, I would try running a trickle of water in the sink next to her and then leaving the room. (having you or your husband staring at her waiting for her to go may be compounding the problem).

Give her a chance to relax and let it out.

HTH

T.

As a soon-to-be third time mom, you've probably read all the books and done all the research. More than likely Forcing her down while screaming probably traumatized her in such a way that mentally she is unable to make her body respond physically the way you want it to. I'm sure she wants to please you, but she may simply be physically incapable of toilet training right now. Additionally, as I'm sure you know, with another one so close at hand it's highly unlikely you'll be able to get her trained prior to or immediately following the birth as children that age tend towards regression - not progression - with the introduction of another sibling. Thus, even if you were successful prior to your next child's birth, she would probably totally forget everything once baby came home.

While all the suggestions are great, time-tested ones (sitting for like 45 min on the potty reading stories and singing til it came out, combined with a candy reward, was what eventually worked for us), I would suggest that perhaps you save yourself and her the frustration and just forget for another 4-6 months. Once she's older, a bit more mature, secure in your love and her new position as middle sister in the family, and you will be able to communicate quite effectively with her by that age and time and potty training may be a breeze. I do HIGHLY recommend frogging the legs up on the toilet as it aligns the colon perfectly to allow for a much easier experience training for #2. Also, water-cut white grape juice helps soften the stool if constipation becomes an issue.

Once your family is ready, I suggest the book Potty Training In a Day, though you're probably already familiar with it, not bc it worked for us (we didn't even try), but bc it HAS worked for every mother I know who has tried it. And with all of their children - all different personalities of course.

Good luck!

Turn the water on. Help her relax. She is probably tense thinking about how she used to be so scared. I don't think you are ever supposed to "hold her down screaming" to get her on. So, she probably doesn't have a very good feeling about the potty, even though she is sitting nicely on it now. You need to change that and make it fun and relaxing now.

We told my daughter to push like she was going poop. It usually made the pee come out. Try to distract her with a book or a song while she's on the potty. It might be that she's not realizing she can relax that muscle. Perhaps if she's distracted it will relax and she'll realize what to do.

I'll warn you though....chances are she'll regress after the baby is born. My daughter was 2.5 when we had our youngest. We were told by pediatricians that it's not wise to potty train right before the baby comes. I would keep on trying, but just expect some regression. It's totally normal.

I am training my daughter right now. She will say she has to go, sit down, and say she can't and get frustrated. We sing several songs, she gets happy again, and she will finally go. I know what you mean, not knowing how to release it.

Your daughter can sit , but she is still too tense to release it. She needs to relax. Sing songs, read books. So she isn't thinking about it. She is flooding the pull up because she is relaxed, sleepy, it releases. Are her feet on the floor? That could help her tummy muscles relax too.

Pour some warm water over her genitals while she is sitting on the potty. I did this with my son a few times and he got it really quick.

Have you tried pouring warm water over her delta area - or running the water so that it trickles, that often sets kids off and running. Hodling her down until she is screaming is going to end up being counter-productive in the long run. sometimes you just have to let it go

well now that you have held her there and scared her shes deff not going to do it anytime soon. i wouldnt want to do anything on that scary big white seat wither! leave her alone for a few months and try again. next time dont hold her down on the toilet sorry but what the heck were you thinking?!!!!

Not sure if this works as well with girls but pouring warm water on their parts when they sit on the potty when you know they have to go really helped my son learn to go. I would recommend giving her LOTS of liquids (juice water, not milk etc) and putting her in undies so she feels when she is wet- Keep telling her to tell you when she has to go potty, keep her very close to the bathroom and rush her in there when she shows signs that she has to pee. Reward any attempt and any sprinkle as progress. Tell her you are so proud of her and she is a big girl and will be such a great BIG sister.
Good luck.