I normally work "normal business hours" but pretty soon here I am going to be working a later shift one night a week. I will get to keep my 3 yo at home with me in the morning, but my husband will pick him up at his normal time (5 pm) and I won't be home until a little after 9.
My son's normal bedtime is 8:30 or 8:45 and I do a little routine with him every night of reading books together then I rock him a bit and he goes to bed sleepy but awake. Now on this one night a week I won't be walking through the door until 9:10 or 9:15. There have only been a few times when I haven't been home to put him to bed. Sometimes he was OK with it, sometimes not. My husband and I are debating whether we should just keep him up til I get home on this one night a week. I like the idea because it makes me sad to think of not spending any time with DS before he goes to sleep for the night. But i don't want to mess up his schedule too bad. It would only be about half an hour, but still...
What would you do???
Well, my husband ended up rocking my son til I got home then I took over...even though I told him I thought it would be fine for him to just put him to bed.
So that is what we've been doing and it's been working great.
I cherish the closeness I have with DS at this age....I know he won't want me around for bedtime forever!
Only 1 night a week? Let you husband do it! It's important for him to allow other people to put him to bed. Also good bonding time for daddy and son. I understand wanting to snuggle kiddo before bed. But for just one night a week, I would let DH have some of the snuggles :) ...Plus then YOU won't have to deal with the crabby kid in the morning!
His father should be able to put him to bed as well as you can. IMO, his father should have been part of the bedtime routine from the day he was born.
I think that you should designate that night for Daddy to put him to bed. they can even modify your routine to create their own. Maybe your husband does the voices differently while reading. Give him a chance to own this. Also, you don't want your son to be so dependent on you that his bedtime needs to change.
I'd hand off the job with confidence, and just keep in your mind that your son *may* be asleep before you come home, or not.
If it were me, I wouldn't go in to see him once he's been put to bed. This would be about honoring my husband's authority when it's *his* turn to do bedtime. This will also teach your son to go to sleep because there's no 'reward' of seeing mom if he stays up.
Instead, maybe you could have some time connecting with your husband on those evenings.... :)
Let daddy handle your normal routine that night. Spend extra snuggle time with him that morning and/or the next morning.
You'll be home with him that morning.
I agree with the posters that suggest you need to set dad up for success on this O..
IF he gets used to waiting for you, he may really give his dad a hard time.
Dad can (& should) be able to do this O. night per week successfully.
It will be good for your son as well!
Good luck!
I work two nights a week. On those two nights my husband is the one putting our daughter to bed. At first, it was really tough on me but now I am thrilled that she has her special time with Daddy. They have a whole routine together and it has made them closer as a result. I would let your hubby handle this one night.
I would go through the bedtime routine with your husband in the room but not doing anything for one night, then you in the room with your husband doing the stories and you just standing by for one night. Help your son get used to the fact that mommy or daddy will be doing the bedtime routine. Or maybe your husband could figure out what his own personal bedtime routine coud be and it could some special time for them to spend together.
I would not switch the time he goes to bed.
Let Daddy have a night to put him down his way. I was like you with routine and it was hard to let someone else change that, even Daddy, but that's you that it bothers and not the child. He'll be happy to have Daddy get to be part of things for one night or more. You'll miss the time doing it but you have what?, 6 other nights to do it? Maybe start sharing the time with Daddy more. Keep the time to get to bed the same though but don't be surprised if he's awake when you get home. Be sure he stays in bed though even if you give him a kiss and leave. Then Daddy has done his bedtime and not you. You could then read in the morning.
I wouldn't worry so much. Kids are resilient. Try letting stay up and see how it goes. If it doesn't work, then your husband will get some special time with him one night a week. I have found over the years I often worry to much about situations like this and it the end just doing it makes it all work out.
I've had some late nights for work, and my son sometimes gets very upset if I'm not home at bedtime. Ultimately, we told him that he had to get all ready for bed, including reading and rocking with Daddy, and then he has to lie down on his bed and rest until I come home. He is allowed to keep the door open and does not have to fall asleep. In reality, sometimes he falls asleep before I get home, sometimes he is still awake. Either way, he's ok with it because he knows that he is allowed to stay awake to wait for me. Maybe a similar arrangement would work for you.
Which is more important?
Your son getting enough sleep or keeping him awake until late one time a night and him getting overtired and then it affecting his quality of sleep and him being tired/fussy the next day???
It takes at least a day, for a child to catch up on sleep. And lack of sleep affects a young child the next day.
My vote is:
having your Husband put him to bed at a normal hour as is his usual bedtime.
And when you come home, do not wake him up.
And remember, after you come home at night and if your son is still awake, its not like he will be going to bed RIGHT then as soon as you come home and walk in the door. He will probably want to stay up and refuse to go to bed right then... and he will want to play with you and you will too. Thus, his actual bedtime and falling asleep time on those nights... will be MUCH later, than just a 1/2 hour.
I am also voting for letting dad do it. Your husband should be able to put him to sleep. I work late one night a week and my husband puts my 4 and 6 year old to bed before I get home. Since I do bedtime the other 6 nights, it doesn't bother me. I'd rather they go to bed on time even if it means I don't see them.
You could play it by ear......... If he goes to bed with Daddy, that's great. If not, then you get to spend some time with him. :o) If you want to make a routine out of it, your husband could come up with his own bedtime routine. Or- it can be a special occasion for him to stay up a bit later so he can see Mommy. Either way sounds great. :o)
That bed time is kinda late?
It is hard not to see them, but their schedule is that.. and usually better to keep the schedule. My son went to bed at 7 pm.. Once a month I needed to work until then, so I would not get to see him.
Now I work 7Am-3:30 pm.. So I dont get to see the kids in the morning. I see my son when I get home at 4:30, but I dont get to see my daughter until my husband gets home at 5:30 or 6, then she goes to be by 7:30. it sucks, but we are working to suppor them.
Good luck
There's no harm in 30 minutes later once a week. It's not like children actually fall asleep at the exact same time every night anyways. Sometimes they drift right off, other times they lay in bed for a while before they actually fall asleep. So if Daddy wants to try and put him down, that's fine. But if he's still awake when you get home it's no big deal either. He's only going to be this little once so enjoy what time you do have with him and do what works best for your family.
