My 3 year old went to a b'day party and got a return gift. Now every time we go to my friend's place, she asks them for a gift. Same thing happened with a neighbor. It is quite embarrassing. But is it normal? She doesn't ask for specific things, but just says gift. She won't even look inside the bag to see what it is, but she wants it. Will she grown out of it or do I need to make her understand? I have tried telling her to ask only Mommy and Daddy for gifts, but she says she wanted a gift from them. This has happened a few times.
What upset me is when someone mentioned how kids are so "materialistic" these days. She is very loving and any day prefers people over things, but still left me wondering.
Thank you all for understanding. I have tried telling her many times that she got a gift when it was her friend's b'day and she will get it again when the friend has her next b'day or she has her own b'day including on her way to her friend's house. Hopefully she will grow out of it. Thanks for your kind words ladies.
She's not materialistic, she's 3. Just continue to address it when it happens, and she'll learn soon. Maybe also right before you enter someone's house, have her review the rules for visiting, one of which is "do not ask for a gift." Having her say it will help to internalize it. No need to be embarassed or upset about it.
its normal... this is my favorite little saying for young children
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically
becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.
I think it's totally normal. She's likely too young to understand completely, but I'd just tell her (I have a 3.5 yr old son) something like "Honey. You got a small gift last time because it was a very special day. Today is not a special day, so there are no gifts. But on your birthday you will get gifts and at Christmas you will get gifts. Not today honey."
and before you go to that friend's house again, on the way there remind her "Remember that it's not polite to ask people for gifts. When we go inside, you can play with the toys there and make sure you share. But there are no gifts for you, okay? So remember not to ask for anything."
Hmmm - since you said she "prefers people over things" maybe you could try redirecting her requests by saying something like "we get to spend time with our friends today - that's a kind of gift that doesn't come in a box"?
and on the wanting the bag without even seeing what's inside - maybe redirect with an "oh, do you want to see what's inside" (and maybe plan to have something decidedly uninteresting in a bag next time you visit your friend - I dunno, maybe something like a roll of toilet paper or some old magazines?)
Normal and she will grow out it, lol. My one son turned 7 and he's all about gifts still, lol. Just keep reminding proper behavior. Don't be embarrassed. Laugh it off. She's just 3.
K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
She probably doesn't fully understand what happened, but it is never too early to start talking about it. Just tell her that it was really special when she got a gift at the party, but that doesn't usually happen. That is what makes it so special.
If she is really into gifts, maybe you could try focusing her energy on giving them instead of receiving them. My little ones have come up with some creative gifts (not necessarily what someone would want, but it is the thought that counts right?).
Also it is never to early to start talking about manners and remind her to say thank you when someone gives her something and not to ask for gifts.
I'm guessing this is a stage that will pass, so don't make a huge deal of it. Just try to reinforce being grateful/thankful etc whenever possible.
Normal. My 3 year old wants presents but is just as happy with a toy car as he is with a fruit cup...
I think she is just remembering that she got a gift there one time. Maybe she thinks that she is going to get one every time. If my DD does that with something, I just laugh & say, "Oh you remember that don't you? That was neat! You have a great memory!" and then briefly explain why she's asking for a gift. She'll grow out of it when she starts to understand it was a one time thing ;)
I just had to laugh because I can totally see my 3 year old daughter doing the same thing. My daughter wants to have a birthday party pretty much every day with her play birthday cake...wants to sing Happy Birthday, etc. I could definitely picture her doing the same thing as yours if she went to a party and got a return gift. Of course they are not materialistic at this age, I'm sure it's because it was fun to get a gift so she wants to do it again. I'm sure your friend and neighbor understand. I would try to make light of it...if she asks for it again maybe say something like "honey, you'll have gifts on your birthday..." or something along those lines. I don't think it's a big deal. I would find it cute if I were the friend or neighbor. good luck!
Since she received a gift at a party she thought that was how life is and ran with it, lol! Completely "normal" behavior. I would just explain to her that we don't receive gifts every time we go to someone's house, and that we don't ask for them. Remind her of the no asking rule when you arrive at someone's house.
