3 Year Old and Bedtime

Updated on June 08, 2008
K.K. asks from Minneapolis, MN
4 answers

ARGH!
My three year old will not go to sleep at night without me lying next to her.
This is relatively new behavior. She used to be ok with a book and a snuggle. I could kiss her good night and leave her room. For about a month she has been saying she can't get to sleep. Last night she was up until 1130! At least she was in her room, being quiet. I refused to lay with her to help her sleep. Tonight she is doing the same thing, and I am, again, refusing to lay with her. She keeps getting out of bed and sitting at the top of the stairs. I have to go up and put her back in bed. I am trying to not speak to her, other than "it's bedtime, goodnight".

We live under a flight pattern, so the planes can be really loud at night. Also, her dad has been pretty absent for two weeks because of work/ working until midnight, leaving early in the morning. She wakes up at 730 and takes an hour to an hour and a half nap daily. but even on days when she doesn't nap, she still does this.

I feel like she's gonna wear me out with this! I NEED time alone at night. I am the primary caregiver and am at home ALL THE TIME with my girls. ARGH!

Any advice? What should I do?

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So What Happened?

I have decided to just snuggle with her. She obviously needs something extra from me at the end of the day. We also brought back her music cd that used to put her to sleep as a baby. We talk about it every night when the music starts and it makes her really happy. Daddy has been home, so it helps, too!

More Answers

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H.K.

answers from Green Bay on

K. - You are doing the right thing by not catering to her desires to be slept with... I know it's hard, but keep up the good work. She will go to sleep when she is tired enough, and some children require less than what we are taught is the "normal" amount!

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T.H.

answers from Duluth on

K. - Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time right now. I have a girl who is 3 today, and also a 3 month old baby, so a little similar to you. And Daddy has been recently working out of town for 1/2 weeks at his new job, which is new for our family. When he started being away for multiple days, my 3 yr old would also ask me to lay by her at bedtime, which I never would do before (hubby sometimes did that before). Sometimes I do it, because I feel that she does get stressed/sad with him gone, and needs a little TLC. Sometimes I don't do it, especially if I tell her something like, "Your sister needs me now" or "I need to finish sending the email to Daddy to tell about our day," and she is okay w/it.

My daughter has traditionally always gotten up at 0630 and to bed at 10:30pm, and now with summer naps 2-4hours. (I am now trying to shift some of her daytime sleep to nitetime sleep, if it works is yet to be determined!) If we go to the park for a couple of hours daily, this usually tires her out to go to sleep, so make sure dd is getting enough activity. Otherwise, it is okay for them to lay in bed w/some toys, talk, play a little; anticipating this, I've been offering a specific toy just for nap time to get her to lay down. I also have a specific lullabye CD for naptime, and one for bedtime, that plays after I've left. This is what works for us.

Best of luck for you! I know it is difficult to go the entire day with no respite. I take my "me time" when they both nap in the afternoon. Hope you find something that works for you!

T.

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T.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi K.
This may be your daughter way of saying she misses daddy and is looking for some one on one time. Can you spend some time cuddling with her on the couch before you put her to bed? Hope you find something that works soon. Good Luck :)T.

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J.G.

answers from Green Bay on

I am also a full time stay at home mom of two girls. My oldest turned 3 in April and youngest is now 15 months. I have been were you are right now. The first few nights she did not sleep, but did stay in bed then after that she started getting out of bed and going into her sisters room and that would wake her up. So that is when the issue needed to be addressed. We talked with our doctor and he recomeded a natural herb to get her back on track. Worked like a charm. We only gave it to her for two days and now almost a month later she is doing great. I would say give a call to your doctor and she if they might have any ideas that could help you out.

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