3 Year Old and Accidents

Here is what I did for all 4 of my kids, and I suggest it to anyone that is getting frustrated by potty training. She is old enough to be trained. She understands it, she knows what it is about. Use natural consequences. Her whole life will be filled with natural consequences. For example: If she accidentally spills a bucket of legos, she has to pick them up. If she purposely dumps it, she has to clean them up. If she accidentally spills some water, you hand her a towel to clean it up. If she purposely pours a class of water on the floor, same thing.

What I've done with my kids is teach them how to clean up their own messes. When they potty in their pants, I good naturedly say "Oh, my, you had an accident. Now you need to clean yourself up". The first few times, I would guide them through the motions, show them where their wet clothes go. (I usually kept a bucket in the bathroom for that) - then show them where their dry clothes were. After the first few times, I expected them to do it completely by themselves. If they poo'd, I would put them in the tub to clean themselves up. (Then I would have to follow behind to make sure they were clean, but it's the principal here of cleaning up after yourself). Honestly, when I used this approach, I didn't feel so frustrated. If they were doing it for attention, teaching them to clean themselves up nipped that in the bud right away. If they were doing it out of laziness, it took care of that. It didn't take them long to figure out it was easier to just go and not clean up. And even when they wet at night, they had to clean up in the morning. Not out of meanness, but because it is a natural consequence. If they wet the bed at 18, it would be the same thing - they have to clean themselves up.

Good luck!

You're right. She knows exactly what she's doing, except maybe when she's napping. My son did the same thing - started at 18 months - on and off again, was really good at 3, but then quit and had lots of accidents at a time when the routine changed (husband went away for 2 weeks on military duty). Got to the time preschool was going to start. Kids in the 3year+ class had to be potty trained. Gave him the ultimatum - do it or you don't go to pre-school. He did it. Almost identical with my daughter (she's more stubborn though). She took interest at 18 mo, stopped, started, etc. and so it went on. Same scenario. In June when she was 3, I told her that if she didn't decide to do it on her own, she wouldn't be allowed to go to school the following year. We were on our way in to talk to the executive director (who my daughter liked a lot) to tell her the reason why we would need to withdrawl, when we say my daughter's favorite teacher, who would also be her teacher the following year. We explained together that she would not be able to come to school in the fall. Well, her teacher looked at my daughter and said so kindly, "you mean you don't want to join the big girls club? Once you show that you want to do it all by yourself all of the time, you can join the big girls club". Well, that was it! Didn't matter what Mommy tried - when that favorite teacher told her that, it was a done deal. Maybe one or two accidents after that, but my daughter made the decision. They're the ones who have to want to do it. They have ultimate control. I did put her in pullups at night only for a while after that, but that was it. Good luck!

Other parents have had this problem and some of the answers included talking to your daughter to see if she can tell you why it's happening. It sounds like she's having too much fun on the weekends to stop and use the potty! I think the idea of setting the timer and rewarding her if she goes before it goes off might work for her, but I think talking to her might help you figure this out. Instead of you imposing the consequences as you listed, see if you can both figure out a solution and consequences together.

my son is three and he did this for the first six months of his 3 yo potty training. He really just wasn't that into it. He was on a schedule at school, but as you pointed out, weekends are zoo, playground, road trips, swimming, etc.
I guess what you have to decide as parents (which is what my husband and I did) is if you would rather put her in pull ups and avoid the "accidents" or keep at it and not get frustrated when it happens.
I don't know if you can have it both ways right now. At least that is what my husband and I resigned ourselves to at the time. We chose to just suck it up and use pull ups at naps/nightitme and underpants all the other times. - guess what six months into that process we have been able to drop the nap time pull up and he is going very well in the potty at home, zoo, school, public restrooms on road trips, etc.
So hang in there, choose your course and give it time:)

I am a fan of running around without underware. When we are out and about, I tell him come on lets go to the bathroom. We did well with that. It is not good to threaten them. It is also good to not punish them either. I would have the daycare watch her liquid intake,especially before she goes to sleep. I would have her go potty before she goes to sleep. Have her go potty any time she drinks excessive amounts of liquid. She may also have a small bladder. Do not do pull ups they are like diapers. You have to stay on her for lack of better terms like white on rice. After a while she will get it. Hang in there. This too shall pass

I guess I would say she is too young and you might want to try backing off a little. Maybe get some pullups and just give her a break. Sorry that is probably not the answer you are looking for.