My three year old just had a mind of his own and has a very hard time listening and following directions from me or my husband. I know this is the age, but is there a way to make it more manageable to make him want to listen. He is very strong willed and very smart, which makes it all that much harder. He is very aggresive with his 1 year old brother and others.
Read the book "Taming the Spirited Child". Buy it online or reserve it at the library- it's perfect for this. Really helped us with our daughter, who's now 3 and is very independent and stubborn!
my little girl just turned three a few weeks ago, and it sounds like our kids could be the same kids just in two different places at once. She is a very head strong kid, takes after my husband a little too much, and me as well. What I find to be the best is putting her in time out, she doesn't always sit as long as we tell her and she tries to play with anything even her clothes, so I have her sit on her hands and cross her legs. that works half the time. She also has this monkey ( his name is bear, thanks to my husband) and if she still wont do what we ask of her, we put him in time out, just right out of reach, but where she can see him, she gets upset, but we tell her that if she doesn't relax and learn to do as she is asked than her will stay up there longer, and that works well. We started to do this with other things as well. If her doesn't have anything he likes , like a blanket or a toy, than I would try taking something a was, like the tv or a movie at bed time or going outside, or playing with his brother. When my oldest girl cant play nice with her 7 month old sister, than she cant play with her at all, and that seems to calm her down for the time being. I hope this helps, but in the end do what you most comfortable with. Good luck.
I have a little saucy girl myself who will be 3 years old in March! She has always been strong willed! She gets this from me by the way :)
In my opinion there is one certain non-negotiable! Being aggressive to the point of injuring a sibling or other child is not acceptable! Our babies are to vulnerable and need a parent to control a situation where there is aggression! It is normal by the way for your 3 yr old to try!
Other than that my mom always told me that consistency is a parents power! We also have to have a sense of humor about things so not to have every moment be a negative experience! Time outs work best for my 3 year old and she is very sweet to my 6 month old because we instilled in her early that he is HER baby brother and SHE needs to care for him and love him! She takes ownership of him because he is hers as well! Good luck!
Hey S.- is this you?????????????
I stumbled across this posting, how funny!
I will reccommend a book called "To Train Up a Child" by Michael and Debi Pearl. It is a little hard to find, although I think amazon has it. It is a Christian view of God's plan on training the children.
We have read it a couple times in our house, and definately implemented some things from the book. Although we don't have first time obedience all of the time, for the most part I am pretty pleased with my children's behavior.
Sincerely,
K.
I have a almost 4 year old daughter that has had a mind of her own since she turned 18 months old and inherited the stubborn gene on top of it. So I sympithize. They say it's the terrible twos - the three's are much worse. We use time out with her (1 minute per year of age) which worked pretty well at that age. You need to be consistent about it though. Our daughter would fight, kick, scream and try to bite her way out of it but all it did was extend the time. Now we just threaten time out and she usually improves. However, she still does time there.
As to the aggressiveness, especially with your baby, he needs to be removed from the situation immediately and told exactly why he is being removed. If it's play time, he doesn't get to play unless he is going to play nice. When he does play nice be sure to acknowledge him for it and occasionally reward the good behavior with a special activity or something.
Our daughter will sometimes get rough with our 1 year old son and it is usually when she is feeling "neglected" because she is not always the center of attention anymore. If you think it may be related to that, try and make sure he gets his time that is all about him. That usually works for us.
Good luck!
L.
Dear S.,
My five children are grown and out of the house, but I remember those early years well. At three, a boy needs to get outside and use his large muscles and motor skills daily. I know the weather's been chilly, but try to find a way to help him have 30 min. of vigorous exercise daily. This will help get out some of his "pent up energy". Try not to ask too much "listening" until after he's had an opportunity to get out in the fresh air. Prepare him for what you want him to do. Try to be as creative as possible with your requests for his listening skills. Set up your requests so that when he listens, he wins. Praise, hugs, kisses. Also, make sure you praise him verbally in front of other adults. Call your mother on the phone and make sure your son hears you praising him to his Grandma & Grandpa, Aunts, Uncles, anyone that will listen. Praise anyone who is kind and gentle with the one year old. Praise the way your husband is sweet and tender and protective. Then praise the three year old when he models any of that behavior toward the one year old. Write what you want to do in your "list of things to do" to remind yourself what you want to remember to do in parenting.
I wish I would have done that more with my oldest boy when he was growing. I just got so busy with the others. And looking back on it, I can see he needed that more than anything else. If I would have put it at the top of my "To Do" list, I probably would have done more of praising.
Good luck.
Louise H
One thing to remember is that little children like to be in control of things too. Give him choices that you can live with. Such as, either pick the orange paper or pick the green paper. Either you can choose to keep the light on or choose to keep the light off. Choose to either pick up your crayons or choose to sit on the stair.
Giving him choices will help him feel like he has some control, and he does.
Also do not threaten the child. Be ready to follow through with what you say. If you tell the child he may not have a treat until the crayons are picked up, don't give him the treat until the crayons are picked up. For example: Either you can pick up the crayons and have a treat or you can go without the treat.
