3 Year Makes Excuses at Bedtime

Your telling him that you were not coming back into the room failed I assume since you are still having trouble. When it is bedtime, escort him to his room, read story, whatever your ritual is,kiss him put him in bed and say good night. Make sure he has gone to the bathroom. If he gets up , get him, put him back in the bed and simply say it is bedtime. If he gets up, pick him up say nothing and put him back in the bed. If he says he has to have a bowel movement, take him to the bathroom, say nothing and let him go. If he is playing about bathroom needs, put him in the bed without a word.Repeat this each time he gets out of bed. It may take days, weeks,hours for any given night. You must be consistent. He must learn that there are unpleasant consequences for his refusal to stay in bed.This is a power play and you must win. Good luck J. Gordon

Mine does the same thing. Its driving me nuts! I am so exhausted by that point and have to get started on homework. We do the ritual, then she wants a book, tucked in, a drink, potty. you name it, she's got the excuse. Finally I have to threaten to take her light away if she gets up again. That usually works. Also the putting her back in bed without a word... I have tried that, she usually has a fit, but eventually after 3-4 times gets the hint.

Hi S.!
We did the same as the other moms suggested. It works very well when it is consistantly used! It was perfect for my son when he was 2-3. My son is now 4 and he is starting to regress into that phase where he has to call for me or daddy a couple of times before he goes to sleep. We did what some people might refer to as a bribe... We told him that we were going to go on an adventure tomorrow, but the only way that he would be able to go is if he silent for the rest of the night. (He is not calling for anything that can't wait, anyway & he is good about being asleep within 10 minutes of silently laying down) This works most of the time, because when he wakes up, we follow through - and go on an adventure, or if he doesn't go to bed without the continual calling for us, we skip the fun stuff. He understands the difference - and we don't have to threaten corporal punishment... :) It also helps them make good decisions and allows them to still maintain some control over the situation.
Hope this helps!
S.

You are on the right track by knowing that he is making excuses to get/keep you in his room. You say you don't give in to them except for the potty but really you do just by simply going into his room even if you don't give him that drink of water. Maybe if you set up a more structured bed time routine for him, it will answer all of his needs before the lights are out. Say his bed time is 8pm, about 45 mins (7:15) before bed, start a 5 min count down till it's time to get ready for bed and then do a couple of mins before the time. This will help him mentally prepare for going to bed and allow him ample time to get done anything that needs to be done. So then at 7:30, he gets in his pjs, brushes teeth, goes potty, reads a book, puts toys in closet, and any other excuses he would normal come up with get answered. Now say everything is done and it's only 7:50, leave a soft light on for him to lay in his bed and quietly look at books on his own for the next 10 mins. Then at 8pm, you or dad will come to his room to kiss him goodnite, turn the light off and that is it. No more trips to his room for anything, not even the potty. And you need to explain this to him as well when you lay him down with his book that you'll come back to check on him and after that it is lights out and you will not come back to his room any more. Or you can tell him that you or dad will check on him when you go to bed. Also, try to keep that hour before bed, calm. No rough housing, video games, cartoons, etc. Help his mind settle down so his body can relax as well.

A good book to read is 1 2 3 Magic. It has advice about how to handle sleeping and other annoying behaviours our toddlers like to throw at us!!

Good luck and stay consistant!
S.

Mine was the same way (still calls for me sometimes). We also have a baby with a bedroom next door, so letting the 3 year old yell and scream was not an option.

We finally implemented the "no attention after bedtime" rule. If she gets up or calls for us, we ignore her. She can go to the bathroom by herself. If she yells or screams or gets out of bed, we put her downstairs in a chair in the dark and tell her she can go back to bed when she's ready to be quiet and stay in bed (using very few words, trying not to be angry). We walk away and do not tuck her in or give her any further attention whatsoever.

The last month or so, all we have to deal with is her calling quietly if we are out in the hallway with the baby. We ignore her and she eventually goes to sleep. No more yelling, no more excuses. I think the key is to make a short statement and walk away. Eventually they learn that bedtime is not a good time to seek attention. Good luck!

I think he keeps doing it because you keep engaging him. You may not be giving in to his requests, but you ARE engaging him...and that's exactly what he wants. Until you stop doing that, he will continue with his behavior. I would follow your ritual, bath, brush, story, goodnight...and that's it. When he calls for you, do not go back into his room. He will probably cry and throw a big tantrum or about a week or so, but he will learn. But you have to make the first move by not allowing yourself to go back in. 1 or 2 weeks of this is much better than never ending months of "mommy, I need 1 more thing". Everyone will be happier in the end.

S. ... boy do I feel for you. I had two kids that pulled this with us. Every night was a battle of the wills; sadly didn't have this great option to seek help back them. We tried the "let em cry" method ... didn't work here either.

A thought ... if you are not using music or a boring book on tape for your child to listen to as he goes to sleep. We used the New Testament on tape with the kids.

What did work was using a reward system for good choices and lose of privileges for bad choices. We set a routine down on paper (use cut out pictures from magazines to help your young one understand words).

What does your little one really enjoy doing or getting ... something not associated with bedtime.

If the little one going to bed without a fuss, the reward is given the next day.

If bad choices are made, take away privileges ... video time, longer nap time, snacks.

Good luck.

Try getting him a small nightlight and let him go to the bathroom on his own, or make sure that he goes before he goes to bed and maybe that will hold some of his excuses back not all but I believe that it may help.