3-Year Old Wetting Pants Because He's "Too Busy" to Go to the Bathroom

My son did the SAME thing!!! We finally got so fed up, that we completly took away the diapers and pull ups... when he did wet himself, we showed him how to clean it up. After about 2 days, he finally got the idea that he'd either have to stop playing to go on the potty, or stop playing to clean up the mess he'd made. It worked like a charm!

ALSO... instead of asking him if he needed to go potty (he'd almost ALWAYS say no), we told him that it was time to go practice on the potty. We did it even when we were really engaged in something, but especially when he was.

I hope that helped!! And, seriously, my son did the SAME thing!!

If he's wetting his pants 6x a day he's not really potty trained.

Sometimes kids regress and untrain themselves due to many reasons, to much stress, potty trained to early, something going on in the home etc...

Sometimes kids are constipated really bad which pushes on their bladder and they have uncontrollable accidents.

My cousins 3 year old regressed because they forced potty training on her at age 2, and were spanking her every time she did anything wrong like 10+ spankings a day. She had been potty trained for almost a year and the minute mom and dad layed off and she went back to being trained.

I would rule out any medical problems and make sure there's nothing unusual going on in his life then make him fully responsible for his accidents. He is big enough to remove the soiled clothing and place in the sink or laundry room wherever you want them, wash up, and go into his room and put new clothing on. After a few times of this he should realize it's alot easier to just go potty than to have to be responsible for poor choices.

My son did the exact same thing at this age. My ped told me that as children, they master something, then move on to the next item on the list (whatever it is we're teaching them). Once they know it, who cares? Lets learn something new! :)

Give him time. I put Caleb in "trainer" undies with plastic pants for a few weeks, and after a while, he went back to using the bathroom. Now is a time of transition, both in age and season. Let him explore things on his own, but gently guide him to growing. He'll find his niche, and so will you. :)

My daughter is also 18 months, like yours. Have you started the process of potty training with her yet? I think my daughter is getting ready, but I'm not really sure how to go about it. If you have any advice on how to potty train girls (I've only babysat and trained boys) please let me know! I'd love some insight! :) When Caleb was 3 he was going to daycare with other kids who were potty training, and that helped him learn. Maybe have your son show your daughter how to use the potty? I know there's the whole gender thing involved, but being an older sibling has it's share of triumphs and responsibilities. Maybe this will help them both? I'd love some feedback! If you find a trick that works, let me know! :)

Have you tried putting cherrios or fruit loops in the toilet. I know you don't want to make going to the bathroom a game but it might encourage him to go if he is playing. Then he is leaving one game to go to another. Tell him to aim for the fruit loops in the toilet.

my daughter turned three in the beginning of march and is doing the same thing. it is so frustrating. the worst is when we are out somewhere and i didnt bring a change of clothes for her. i dont have much advice because she still has problems. i do watch the clock and make her go to the bathroom every two to three hours. im sure that this phase will pass. good luck to you.

First of all...this is completly normal for some kids...I have been a nanny for 10yrs and all most all of the kids I have worked with had some sort of regression.

There is a really cute book out there by Mo Willems (some people love him some don't...my daughter and I LOVE him!) called Time to PEE. It just goes through the whole procsess and reassures the child that whatever they are doing will be there when they get back and that they can be proud to have gone.

Just be patient...I know it's hard. He will get it back again. I would have him wear pull ups until he can go a few days without forgetting. Try to not make a big deal out of it or that he is a not a big boy now. Sometimes with older siblings they don't want to be the older one so I think that is where the regression comes in....even though he has been the big brother for a while now.

Good Luck!
~A.

Hey H.!

Our son (also 3) also complains that he's "too busy" to go potty. You're right - playing outside or watching a favorite show is far more important. :)

Although we haven't had many accidents because of forgetting, we have lots of close calls. We did a couple of things - we started watching him closer. If he grabbed at his crotch or danced around, we sent him to the bathroom. If he was "too busy" we'd offer to remove the distraction (take toy away, turn off show) or he could go potty & come back to the activity. He doesn't like having things taken away, so he'd go potty. We also "offered" to buy more diapers. He absolutely loves his big boy underpants, so he didn't want diapers again at all.

We never let him think it was okay to wet his pants, but really don't shame him either. I think it's all the tone of your voice & your body language. I let him know it's not a big deal to change/wash the clothes, but it's a drag when you can't wear your favorite underwear/shorts/pants because you peed on them. I remind him that it takes less time to go potty than it does to change clothes (get back to show/playing/whatever faster).

We always try to follow up with a "next time let's try really hard to remember to potty right away - I'll help you remember!" It seems to work, but he does regress when he's tired, hungry, grouchy, learning something new... Times like that I just remind myself there aren't many kindergarteners in diapers. :)

Good luck!
J.
Mom to Chase (3)

I have a 6 year old who has been potty trained since he was 2 years old. Just recently, as recent as the nice weather, he has been having "accidents" also. I have to start getting in the habit of asking him if he has to go. Before he goes outside, after he comes in for a drink, before we leave anywhere (no matter how short a trip). I will tell him he has to "try", or he won't be able to do what he wants. It helps, but doesn't stop the behavior completely. They are "too busy" to remember and they try to "hold it" until the "fun" stops, but they don't realize the size of their bladder.
Keep in mind, it is only an accident. But I do add consequence to behavior like this. If my son comes in and has an accident, he can't go back outside for the rest of the day ot a few hours, depending on what time it is.
Good luck. Stay patient. Stay calm. They have to deal with the consequences you set.
-M.

I had 2 of my kids who were in 1st grade doing this. If one "got away with the first accident of the day" the other would do the same. My 2nd daughter I even took to the doctor to see if there was a medical problem as I was so frustrated. We never did get the xrays done (was to be a seperate appointment) as she didn't like the attention so she quit doing it on her own. And my son quit at the same time when I threatened to take him to the doctor. But they were older than 3. I currently have a 3 1/2 yr old who isn't COMPLETELY potty trained. One day she'll do great, the next is accidents and back and forth. She needs to finish to go to preschool in the fall...but I've backed off pushing her this past week to see how that works. So far I think it's worked better, when she has an accident she goes to the bathroom and cleans herself (I supervise but do not help) and she seems to be getting better at it. But I always got the answer "I don't know I had to go" when the accidents hit. And they were usually doing things they liked (playing outside). I threatened to make them stay in. With the 3 yr old I'll set a timer and remind her to go. And when she gets a drink she has to go potty before she can go do something she wants to do (even outside).
Good luck!
S. (29 yrs old, mom to 5)