3-Year-old Troubles

Hi A.,
Without knowing the source of the behavior, it sounds like your 3 year old is asking for you to set some boundaries. Or maybe she just needs to know that the feelings of anger or frustration she's having are okay and she needs to be heard. There is an amazing resource for getting support in Palo Alto. It's called Hand In Hand. They offer classes, support groups, literature and tools for creating healthy bonds with our children. I have a boy, 3 and a girl, 4.5 and I know how challenging it can be. This has been a life saver for our family.

Here is one article I found on their site that might be helpful, but browse around, there's a goldmine there!

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/csArticles/articles/00...

Take care, T.

Hello,

Spanking does not work for all children. Instead try asking your child why she is so angre; you'll be suprised by how open some children will be when they know your listening.

If that doesn't work try analysing the situation yourself. As parents we may not fully recognize when our children are crying out for attention. What is your child doing and saying before starts her bad behavior? What are you doing or saying before she starts her bad behavior? Do you recall what was going on before she initially begin this type of behavior? If you REALLY pay close attention to the situation you can find the reason and come up with a solution.

If that does not work for you, try having her do different activities. She just may need something different to do. I think children get tired of the same old, same old, just like adults.

No matter what you do make sure you tell your daughter, in a serious tone, that you do not like what she is doing and why. Tell her that if she continues her bad behavior that there will be consiquences. If she does not take to time outs or spankings, try something different (ie. take toys away, make her stand in the corner with her hands elevated abover her head) until she understands that you WILL NOT stand for her bad behavior.

I know this was long, but hope it helps. Let me know if you've noticed improvement.

i don't think u should let ur daughter be doing this to u. because she might think it is okay to hit and then once she goes to school and starts hitting others.... plus it's just not okay u r the one in charged don't let ur 3 yr old control the situation, step up...

Hi A.,

I think Zarah is right your letting you daughter get away with everything she wants and thats a big no no. You have to give her options by telling her ok you only get to do one thing at a time or day you have an aption of 1st thing or the 2and thing. Tell her that your the mom and shes the child. But you have to not be scared of talking to her in a strong way at home in the park or just anyplace you take her. But I really thing if all that don'r work I guess you just have to do what Zarah thinks you should do. I do it and it works fine for me.

let me know how it gos.
Maria P from Menlo Park

Hi A.,
I too have a 3 year old boy, it can be very challenging at times.
I would highly suggest you check out "ask Dr. Sears.com"
There is so much information out there today that can help us be "ambassadors" to our little ones world.
Dr. Harvey Karp is another good one, he is a genious in my opinion on how to get down to our little ones level and reconize that it is o.k. to feel anger and not o.k. to hit each other.
It can be hard, but rememeber you are your little ones role model and you unconditionally love her and you can help her work out these issues.
reward systems are great when it comes to taming the tantrums, We reward for good behavior in my house, my little guy loves being caught making good choices. He feels so big, you can see the glow. Rewards are most of the time " at a boy"..."Thank you for making a good choice" Or I really like how you said please....Good luck to you! You can do it, you already asked for a little feed back!