Okay... it has been a while since I have been where you are at (although, believe me, I was there!!!lol).
My best friend is a social worker who works with children, and encouraged me to do "art" whenever possible while "teaching" or "correcting" or even just communicating with my girls. It has worked beautifully in MANY situations, including the establishment of a bedtime routine.
What I did with the bedtime routine (with a goal of decreasing whining and excessive need of reminders...) was to pull out a big piece of blank paper and a whole bunch of crayons. On the top I wrote BEDTIME and then I led what I will refer to as a "brainstorming" session (with my daughter and husband). In a sort of innocent way, I began by "trying to remember" what we need to do when we are getting ready for bed (I already knew the list I wanted - brushe teeth, potty, pajamas, vitamin, prayers, book) and we took turns calling out items, which I wrote on the paper with the crayons.
It was fun for Mara - my daughter - see "her" ideas get written down, and my husband helped to make sure we had all the "right" answers. It was very playful, and afterward we circled the items that she needed to do by herself (pajamas, go potty) in order to get the what we put as a reward - the bedtime book. Normally, I would say that reading is not a treat that could maybe be with-held (because it is so important to read to kids) but Mara was VERY motivated for her book every night, so it worked in the situation.
We hung up the list on the bathroom door which she refered to by herself (I drew pictures of each item) as a reminder of all of the steps.
It was a fun activity, that produced more than one positive outcome. First, it turned the entire bedtime routine into a sort of fun activity (ala Mary Poppins) Second, I stopped needing to remind her (or beg or threaten, or get mad), I just refered to the list (usually by pointing or looking over myself) Lastly, it was an excellent problem solving technique that produced lots of quality family time.
I wish you well as you and your family enjoy these wonderful opportunities to teach and grow. Take care, K.