2 Yr Old Diaper Tantrum

Updated on October 01, 2009
M.G. asks from New York, NY
10 answers

My Daughter is just about 2 1/2. She just started like 3 weeks ago not wanting to get her diaper changed. She throws a complete fit, kicks and screams and when it's time to wipe her man does she get stron and fights and fights for me not to wipe her.She knows how to pee on the potty but when I take her she wont go and as soon as I put a diaper on she pees. I tried putting her in underwear and letting her pee herself hoping she would not like the feeling and won't do it again. I am losing my mind and i need to resolve this situation in the best possible way. Thanks for your support and advice!!

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N.D.

answers from New York on

At 2 1/2 she can understand what you tell her and is testing her limits. Tell her to stop or she will be punished and then plop her in the high chair until she stops the tantrum, whether or not you have finished changing or cleaning her. It might be messy, but she needs to know the tantrums wont get her what she wants. Then when you are cleaning her tell her
(in a conversational tone, not scolding) if she went in the potty she wouldnt need diapers or have to be cleaned.

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M.B.

answers from New York on

Sorry - that sounds awful. I didn't deal with this same situation, but just potty trained my daughter. There are a thousand ways to potty train, all with different paths to the same end result. Ours was pretty good (definitely had some accidents, though) so I thought I'd share in case it was helpful.

We trained with no diaper and nothing on her for almost four days with the objective of her knowing that something was different. She didn't wear a diaper during nap, but we put a pullup on over night and then took it off first thing in the morning after she sat on the potty. During those four days, I set a timer for 30 minutes the first day, 60 minutes the second day and 90 minutes the third day and had her go to the potty when the buzzer went off (that was the game - she kind of got into that). Anyway, by the fourth day I told her that she needed to tell us when she needed to go. She wasn't so good at getting to it before, so there were a lot of accidents the fourth day but then we introduced the underpants and the concept of "dry pants". For the rest of the week, we helped her learn how to do the whole process by herself, both prompting her for potty breaks anytime we were moving from one activity to another and having her tell us when she needed to go.

I hope that helps - it is a pain in the neck and hopefully it will resolve itself soon.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from New York on

I feel your pain I have the same problem. It seems all kids act out like this. What works for me is distraction. I try talking to him or giving him something to play with that makes him happy. It works for me most of the time.

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J.H.

answers from Syracuse on

I just wanted to write to tell you that I am experiencing the same thing with my almost 20 month old daughter. It is a power struggle every single time to change her diaper.

I try to distract her by looking at/talking about something else first or letting her put a diaper on her doll first... or I ask her if she wants to put the powder on "by herself"... sometimes I show her the wipe with her mess on it and talk about how we want to get that off her bum bum... gross I know, but sometimes these things work and sometimes they don't.

We only talk casually about the potty and let her initiate it if she wants to try, but until then diaper changing is a struggle she loses every day and I feel like it strains our day... But I am hoping that the training we are doing with her now to show her that we are in control will pay off... until then, it's not fun. I guess this is better than struggling with her about not taking the car out when she is 18! Good luck to you & your family! Hopefully they will grow out of this phase soon!!

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P.C.

answers from New York on

Hi M.
Simple (and maybe a silly) question, but do you use a wipes warmer? It's starting to get chilly here and I noticed my 20 month old making a bit of a fuss when I wiped her too....(My wipes warmer broke and I was waiting for the manufacturer to mail me the new replacement).
Since I didn't think it was a big deal, I used the wipes at room temperature...well on those cooler days, she reacted!!
Now that the warmer is here, she has no reaction at all.
Your baby may just be getting more sensitive to temperatures and noticing the difference.
IDK, it was just a thought!
Hope it helps!
and good luck to you!
P.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

ok first of all, why are you making yourself so nuts about it? She is only 2 1/2...she is still soo young..dont frustrate yourself and your daughter, wait a little while and maybe in a couple months she will be ready to try again...not all children are trained at this age..make it a pleasant experience for both of you..she is going to feed off of your anger and frustration so just let it go for a bit and when she's ready, she'll be trained!

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R.S.

answers from New York on

Sorry, I have no advice for you since I have the exact same problem - in fact, it just happened with me and my 2 yr old son this morning, with a VERY smelly and poopy diaper (I am at work now, and I swear I can still smell that diaper on me somehow). My son pottys beautifully at the day care and the providers tell me all they do is ask him to pee on the potty and he does it. For me, no matter how many times I try, he refuses to do it at home (unless he is in a bathtub). Punishing and time-outs did not work at all with him, instead it made him more upset and even aggressive with me. So instead I try singing, distracting him with toys, etc, with variable results. What happened to work for me today is to sing "London Bridge is falling down..." - and he gets the cue from the song and "falls down" on his back on the bed. Then I change the diaper as fast as I can. That has not worked other times, so, who knows what the child is thinking. I am confused by the whole thing but I figure it must be a testing phase and it will pass with time. Good luck (and wish me luck too!)

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A.K.

answers from New York on

2 may be too young for toilet training your daughter particularly. Each child is different. My daughter has known ho to go potty since that age but doesn't want to do so regularly. The power struggle you're having for us started about 2 weeks ago and now she's even pooping in the potty 3rd day in a row. So it seems for our daughter it was her last hold out and now she is ready herself. Stick it out. It may not be something you're doing. It may be her own mental process preparing herself for potty training. Also make sure she doesn't have an infection.

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J.R.

answers from New York on

I was just talking about this with our Pediatrician today. Not your scenerio exactly but the issue of 'control'. She agreed and is going through the same as I did with my oldest daughter. Its not about the potty. Its not about the diaper, its about control and security. 2 1/2 she should be well on her way to potty training. My daughter didnt respond to charts or anything, but each child is different. I had my daughter start doing things where she felt in control or was needed like feeding the cat, wiping the coffee table, helping put dishes away etc...be creative and it doesnt have to be very hard. (I would empty the cat dishes so she could fill them.) As soon as I did that she just started going and not fighting me etc....she even potty trained herself at night. Like I said, each child is different, maybe she is attached to her diaper or being a baby, but try the control idea. Its easy and just might help.

I.M.

answers from New York on

Keep trying the underwear and see if she gets so uncomfortable that she starts using the potty. Let her keep some socks on as well, because when she goes it will drip and get her socks wet aswell. She might not like to be wet in both places and start using the potty. It worked for my daughter when she was that age. But thank God, it only lasted a couple of days before she used the toilet. Don't let her see you so upset. She will get there, maybe just a little slower than other kids; but she will. Tell her that when she goes on the potty you will reward her with a prize. (Whatever that might be, something you know she likes)
PS. Keep enough underwears and socks around.

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