Hello there....our son has been in his own room from 8 months old, he has been in a twin bed for over 1 1/2 years, no changes in environment or every day life (same carer etc..) but for the past 6 months he has been getting up and coming into our bedroom at least once a night! Used to be 3 or 4 times a week, but now it seems like it is almost every night. He lays on the floor and fidgets around enough to disturb us. We take him back to his room and then it happens again! We have repeated this seems like forever! We do not talk to him or interact with him, but sometimes he starts crying and comes immediately back to our room! He has a night light and his door open. We have tried leaving our door open, he just shouts us and wakes us up. We have locked our door and then he goes mad! We have tried every bribe and threat in the book. We have taken away toys, paid him for staying in his room. Offered trips away, candy etc...it works temporarily and then stops. We are currently using a reward chart and he just tells us that he does not want a reward! A gate would be useless, as afore said, he just shouts and screams like a wild thing! Same with attempting to lock him in, he hates it and goes crazy, so not an option..more stressful for all concerned than not!
Please help with any suggestions and advice, we are tired and frazzled and out of idea's! Thank you in advance.
Well my first child did it at 3 and now my 2nd child is also doing it at 3. My first child did this for 6 mo and then just stayed in her room after that. I guess they have separation anxiety. I just let him sleep on the floor next to us. He'll stop eventually.
Have you asked him why he is waking up? My son is 3Y10M and this is a prime age for bad dreams. Actually for us, it was last year. It took us MONTHS to figure out what was going on last year, somehow he finally told us is was bad dinosaur dreams. Even now, he won't necessarily tell me what the bad dream was about-maybe his way of trying to make it go away? So if this is his case, then you should be comforting him, rocking him for a bit, and then putting him back to bed. Does he have a security toy or lovey? All would help with the falling back to sleep. It usually takes two trips to his room for K to completely get back to sleep.
But...if your son is waking up at the exact same time each night and you eliminate nightmares, then it has become a habit. It is amazing how quickly they can develop one. So it needs to be broken. Can you just call to him and tell him to go back to bed and that you love him? Tell him it isn't up time/time to get up yet? Does he still take naps? If so, then maybe he doesn't need them anymore. This age needs 11-12 hours of sleep.
I hope that you are able to find out what is going on quickly so you can get back to sleeping through the night!
You are definitely not alone! I have 4 year old twins, and sleeping through the night has been a loooong battle with my daughter. I think it's a phase for most children, but for my daughter, it's just the way she is. We've had huge, huge fights for the last couple years, and I finally came to the realization that it was pointless. I let her make a bed on the floor next to our bed, and she can sleep there if she's very quiet. I figure she obviously needs the comfort of being near me, so I just wont fight it anymore. Funny thing is, when I stopped fighting, her nighttime wakings became less frequent. I spent so many unhappy, stressful nights that I just wont do it anymore. One less battle for me to fight!
A few weeks ago, someone on here posted about their 3.5 YO coming into their room at 2 am every night. My 3.5 year old also appears in our room at some point during the night too. The point is that it's really common! lol My daughter sleeps with her door open and a VERY bright nightlight. She still wakes up. What we've done is make her sleep at the foot of the bed. I'm short so usually it's on my side. I also have a 1 year old who wakes up at least once or twice so I'm too lazy and tired to return her to her bed. We pretty much sleep through her at this point. She comes downstairs and climbs into bed. As long as she's not waking us, we don't mind and let her stay. There was a point where she was really fidgety and trying to lay between my husband and me and we were all getting terrible sleep, but we just persisted in moving her to the foot of the bed. If it helps, 3.5 is a really rough developmental time with a lot of anxiety. That's why they want our company at night. There's a pretty good book called Your Three Year Old: Friend or Enemy by Ames and Bates that explains the developmental behavior going on. My husband and I just decided to take the approach of being casual about it. Once she feels secure again, I imagine she'll sleep all night in her room again. Anyway, just wanted to mention that you're not alone!
