A.F.
Hi K.,
So as not to repeat some of the great words of comfort and advice you've been given, I agree with Deborah L. and Stacey B. I'm an active duty military mom of three boys, ages 4,6 and 11. I used to beat myself up because I wasn't "going by the book". Granted, it will be a challenge for you once the hubby comes back, but if your arrangement is working for you while he's away...then let it be. I've been deployed and have missed my boys to no end. My two older boys sleep in their bed NOW. That wasn't always the case. I've gone through this with all of them and now just my youngest one still climbs in with me and my hubby. I used to try and fight it and he would be so upset--some nights he'd sleep in his own bed but he really wanted to be in ours. One day, a very good friend of ours, she was a Chief Master Sergeant and had been in the AF for 30 years and was a mother of 5 shared her thoughts...she said (with her sweet southern twang), "Honey, children grow up so fast...if they don't mind and you don't mind, then enjoy it. Sooner than you know they won't want to sleep with you anymore and you'll wish they were still young enough or small enough so that they could. You're not crazy...let love guide you...." This wonderful woman retired from the AF 2 years ago and everytime I think about my beautiful angel sleeping next to me...I couldn't imagine him anywhere else. Now, when his foot is jabbed into my rib or my husband's mouth...that's a different story. LOL. Seriously, we just think of the words that were passed on to us that I just shared with you. We deal with it and still get our son into his bed everynight, but if he comes or asks us to go to our bed, we almost always oblige. When my husband and I are tired of it or when we're ready to extinguish "the family bed" we'll do it in our own time and on our own terms...regardless of what the counselors, therapists, or the books or those-who-mean-well-and-are-only-trying-to-help say.
I hope this helps and makes you feel better!