Child Having Sleeping Issues Cause Mom Not to Get Sleep Either!

Let him sleep with you! He is having seperation anxiety and that can help soothe him. Maybe make it a treat... Friday and Saturday nights, or something like that. You will both get good rest, and it will be very comforting to both of you. Good luck and God Bless.

Is Daddy on a 13-15 monther? Those are brutal. I let my little guy in bed with me for our 13 monther and he did fine when Daddy got home. In fact he even said when Daddy gets home I sleep in here (his room).
We also have Daddy Dolls for all three of my kids. It might be something to think about for Christmas.
https://www.hugahero.com/
It was started by a couple Marine Corps wives. My son still sleeps with his "Daddy".
A lot of people will say don't let him into your bed. My view is by the time they are 7 or 8 they won't want to be in your bed and by the time they are 13 you are the enemy. When they are 18 they are gone. Cherish every moment you can now. He'll be fine.

I agree to just let him climb in bed with you. He probably just wants the security and comfort of knowing you're still there with him. My husband has never been deployed, but he does travel every week with his job. My kids have always come into my room when he's been out of town. My 6 year old doesn't anymore unless he has a nightmare, but my 3 year old (4 next month) still comes in some when he is gone. However, he's starting to grow out of it already and he knows that he can't come in when his dad is there...biggest reason is because there is just not enough room. Your son will be old enough when you're husband gets back to talk to and let him know that he has to start staying all night in his bed again. We've never had a problem with our boys getting too attached to it and I would rather them feel safe at night in bed with me than to lay in their bed scared and not sleeping well. I fully expect my 2 month old daughter to start this when she's a little older, but at least we spaced our kids out enough so we only have 1 coming in at a time. Good luck and I hope you both get some good sleep soon!

I know a lot of people don't like the idea of co-sleeping for various reasons, but I found that it helps a lot when daddy and mommy are deployed. I know it helped me and several other wives (and a few husbands) to allow their little ones to sleep with them during a deployment. It helped a lot with the anxiety and separation issues.

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You could try the positive approach that we've been using with our three-year-old daughter for a few months now. We draw a "Bedtime Chart" that we post on her closet door, with numbered days on it (we started with three days, then lengthened it; it's at 8 days right now). Each night that she stays in her bed and doesn't wake Mommy up, she gets to put stickers on a day of her chart. When she completes a full chart, she gets to pick two small toys out of a "reward box" that I keep in my closet. The toys are small things like markers, fun notebooks, Little People, etc. This last time I actually showed her a couple of the items that were going into the box, which I think motivated her even more. We'll occasionally have lapses of a few nights (who know if maybe it's when she's having a growth spurt or some other disruption), but this chart routine has saved my sanity! I am definitely getting more consistent sleep now than I was before we started the chart. And it's a completely positive approach; if it doesn't work, you can try something else. Godspeed!

Let him crawl into bed with you if that comforts him. It won't be forever, no need to worry about starting a bad habit. Just help him overcome his fear and grief with extra love and attention.

Your love and affection will give him the strength he needs to be independent again. It's the opposite of what some mother's might think. If you push him to be independent he'll just stay needy for longer until he develops an attachment disorder or depression.

Hi A.,
It does sound like your son is going through a stressful time right now. I have two biological sons and now an adopted daughter. Our parenting style has always been 'conservative' in nature, i.e. not the family bed, kids sleep in their own beds if at all possible, etc. But we have had to relearn some of our strategies with our adopted daughter because she also has undergone a tremendous amount of stress. When she was going through the worst of it, (and sometimes she revisits that stress temporarily), one of the ways I know is that during her usual peaceful naps or nights she will wake up, whimper a lot or cry about every 45 minutes (when she goes through the lighter parts of her sleep cycle). When she's really stressed or anxious, she will fully wake herself up during those times. As adoptive parents, we've been taught that this is a classic stress sign. We really resisted the idea of getting our baby girl used to sleeping with or near us, as we thought it would lead to a bad habit, and hurt our own privacy/ intimacy. But what we've seen is that when she's feeling confident and comfortable again, she'll not mind sleeping in her own bed. So my advice for you would be first to see if you can 'fill up his comfort tank' during the daytime with lots of physical closeness, either him sitting near you or on your lap, lots of hugs, 'floor time'(where they just crawl on you or you give them 'rides', etc... lots of physical contact. See if that affects his nighttime or naptime sleep patterns. If that isn't enough, I would let him sleep on a mat or sleeping bag next to your bed at night, to see if that would do the trick. If things haven't escalated too much, this will work with our daughter. Hearing our breathing or comforting words is enough to quiet her. If that doesn't do it either, then yes, bring him in to bed with you, and see if he calms down in a few days. It should make a world of difference to your son, and his days and yours will be a lot more peaceful. The cranky feedback can feed that stress, and the circle just continues. However, I would still spend time with him in his room each day so that it doesn't end up feeling 'strange or cold' to him from sleeping in your room. Is there a way he can see his daddy through Skype or something? That may help him know that daddy is 'out there' somewhere. I wish we had that when my dh went out to sea for months at a time! I really admire you for the double duty you're doing so your husband can serve his country, too.

Your little one is scared. He probably does not have the verbal skills yet to articulate what he is feeling. In his mind he has lost his daddy and my guess is that he is getting up in the middle of the night to make sure you are still there. If you want to get more sleep just let him sleep in your bed until his daddy is home. Prepare him ahead of time for daddy coming home by telling him that there will not be enough room in your bed for him when daddy gets home, but that while daddy is gone he can sleep with you.