3 1/2 And 5 Year Old Brothers-naughty Talk and Privates

I think that this is pretty normal for their age, and will probably continue for a while. I also think the more they get a rise out of you and dad, the more they're going to do it. All of my kids do this and the only thing I have found that I find works for me is this: we had the discussion about when it is and isn't appropriate to discuss things we do and see in the bathroom-ie; they're HAVING diarrhea, trouble pooping, owies on the privates, etc., anything else is 'potty talk' and I don't want to hear it, they can talk that way but only in their rooms...for some reason it's not as fun when they're 'allowed'. Sometimes they 'forget' and I'll just remind them to take that potty talk to their room because we don't want it around us.

Dont punish for interest.(like the last post said) NEVER punish for interest. TEACH. Teach about body parts, teach about what they are used for, teach about what it feels like and what it make others feel like. TEACH about what our bodies are for, TEACH about personal feelings and feelings about those around us. Do these things in an age appropriate level. Even little kids can learn about appropriate things. I, for one, will teach my daughter EVERYTHING life has to offer. She WILL be advised and well educated about her body. That will be my gift to her.

Oh Honey, you hold all the cards. If they have the upper hand, it's because you gave it to them. First off that is bathroom talk. That is only allowed while in the bathroom. If it is caught being said outside of the bathroom, you loose all privileges. There is no TV, no games, and the toys will begin to disappear. The next five things you ask for you will not receive. If you like a blue cup, you will have to drink from a pink one because of your bathroom talk. If you have a blankey, I will take it for bathroom talk. If you prefer milk with your meal, you will be drinking water for bathroom talk. I may even make some yummy cake and reward all children who don't bathroom talk. I don't warn people about cake rewards either.

Dear you can come up with some. Those kids are five and under. They don't have near the experience you have. You can out think them!!

As for privates, I explain that those parts are very special. They are not toys and we don't play with them or show them off for fun. If I find you do. You will be punished. You can use the above information and get it under control. In this case in my house, you would get a swat. I don't tolerate that at all ever. I demand modesty.

My boys did the same thing, both with the poopy talk and the privates thing. They really get a kick out of farting, fart sounds, and whatever else you can do with farts. I think it's just a boy thing. And your boys are in the perfect age group to be enjoying this. Just keep doing what you're doing by reinforcing appropriate talk and actions. This too shall pass. Plus if you make a big deal out of it, then they enjoy seeing mom squirm. I know my two do. lol

Hang in there.

Oops, I accidentally gave a flower for a post I disagree with. I hope you and your husband will just stop "going crazy," since that is probably feeding the behavior.

Even if you do decide to punish, be sure it fits the behavior. Taking away toys has nothing to do with body humor, and so the emotional connection won't make as big an impression. If I were to discipline for this at all, it might be, at worst, requiring a time-out in the bathroom for potty talk.

Plus kids are just plain curious about the human body. Curiosity is normal, and even when it's about boy bits, it is essentially healthy. Get them a few good books about bodies and spend one-on-one time fielding and answering questions. Once they've heard the official version of what it's all about, the exploration will probably fade out on its own.

Punishing them for being interested teaches shame and makes it harder for them to come to you with questions about those shameful parts, urges, and occasional disfunctions. In fact, shame can add a layer of morbid curiosity that is common in societies that practice sexual repression.

Modesty is a much healthier response than shame. You can reinforce that by just asking them to keep their body humor in their room. Do this every single time they joke, or fart, or sing a dumb song. No drama required. A quiet, consistent response is all that's needed, but it will take time.

Otherwise, it's great that you've had the talk about good touch/bad touch.

At the age that your boys are at they do alot of repeating. They see things and of course its interesting. All children go through a stage of some kind. If you haven't tried to ignore it, do so. They both know they are getting a rise out of you and your husband, kids are smart! Boys' can be boys'. As for your daughter try and have her away from them when this is going on since she is very verbal. If you ignore their words and actions for one wk. and this doesn't settle it, then start with the discipline by taking something away such as TV, a favorite game etc. Even a time out for both of them. You have to be one step ahead of them. By using reverse physcology and paying no attention, saying nothing I'm sure since they aren't getting to you or your husband (its an attention getter) they will quit. I wish you well and hopefully it doesn't come to the extreme. I wish you lots of luck but I'm quite sure this will work but remember to try and keep your daughter away from this kind of action.

This is normal behavior and something you should really get used to with sons! My 4 year old son and I actually have a game where, (because he was saying it constantly to EVERYONE), we have a secret word -"buttcrack" -and we can only whisper it to each other. We also say all sorts of gross things about butts and doo doo and it has REALLY cut down on his running around screaming about it. It's a developmental part of their lives that many of them never get out of ;-) Put some rules in place about WHERE they can say the words and around whom. Be glad they're not running around dropping F-bombs! With the three you have -think of what they're going to be doing when they're 10 and 13 -farting on their sister's head, lighting farts, comparing boogers -it gets MUCH grosser, so don't freak out now! Find the humor in it -no one is dying here. You may also discover that when it no longer gets a big reaction from you -it dies down A LOT.

The showing of privates and touching can be dealt with like this -MAKE SURE you emphasize that their penises are fantastic, good parts of their bodies first of all! Then let them know that they are PRIVATE areas -not places we show other people. I incorporated the talk about molestation from others as well. Just reinforce that it's a private area -sometimes they're even referred to as "privates." Don't shame them about it -it's REALLY normal -they're just curious, and they're old enough to have caught wind of the fact that there's something a little forbidden to us about the language and that body area, and at this age -they love to exploit that for all it's worth! I also tell mine they can't touch it or show it in public or around others, but when they go to their bathrooms or room and are ALONE, they can play with it all they want.

JUST PLEASE DON'T PUNISH OR GOD FORBID SWAT THEM FOR PLAYING WITH THEMSELVES!!!! GEEEEEEEEZ! It's perfectly normal, and people who do that are investing in a future therapist's livelihood for their kids. They're so little they just want to touch themselves because it feels good. Don't EVER punish for a 100% natural response and curiosity!

Maybe Im the minority, but I just dont see what the big deal is. The touching I would put a stop to, but the singing and the joking around I would let go. With my daughter we have explained the time and place concept which a 3.5 and 5 yo can understand. Its okay to joke around at home but we never have potty talk outside the house. Especially with boys, I think you're going to have to ease up on your expectations of modesty.

"Bathroom talk" about poop, butts, passing gas, etc. is very normal among young kids, esp boys seem to find it very funny. I know as a mom you don't enjoy it, I wouldn't either, but trust me, it is not just your kids. I would let them know you don't want to hear that kind of talk (if they do it in private, that's one thing) but it's not something you do in front of grownups or little siblings. Showing off your privates, even to a sibling, is just not okay because how will they know not to do it to someone else? Touching someone else's privates, NEVER okay and definitely something where I'd have serious consequences because even as a kid, if you do that to someone at school or a friend at their house, there will be dreadfully serious consequences. Good luck

I second what Bee's Mom said! ....hang in there!!