2Yo Twins Crying EVERY Night When They Go to Bed

Hi A.-

My only suggestion is to decide on the routine that YOU like the best and stick with it! At this point they've figured out that if they cry they might get something better (i.e. staying up late, snuggling, talking, everything you named above that you have tried). You and your husband decide how you like the nighttime routine to go and just be consistent. They'll get tired of crying soon but as long as there is a chance that you will come back in and do something new or something more fun, they will keep doing it.

Good Luck,
K.

My son does the same thing. I just tell him it is time to go to bed and I will see him in the morning. My husband and I let him cry himself to sleep. They will get over it and this will teach them that they can get to sleep on their own and to be independent.

I couldn't agree more with the advice already given! Consistency is the key! They'll get used to it, eventually.

check on them every 10 minutes and try softly putting your hand on his cheeks for a few minutes and tell him that "everything it's ok". Good luck

Ditto.. You have to be firm. I know its so hard to hear them screaming. When I had this problem, I would go to the far end of the house and put on headphones or a fan and then just check their door every 15 minutes. (both my toddlers sleep with their doors closed, great idea)

My daughter had a really hard time in her new bed until we tried this night light that shines like a blue moon at night, and a yellow sun when it is time to get up. I would tell her that the moon meant time to sleep, and she could get up when she saw the sun. It has worked better then I expected! You can find them at goodnitelite.com. Good luck!

Have you tried talking to them? As soon as they start to cry ask why they are crying. If they tell you something that you can change, then try changing it. If they say they don't know why they're crying, then ask some questions such as do they have nightmares (my son did) or does something in their room scare them, and anything else you think might be a problem.
If they are doing this at nap time too, I think it is more than just not wanting to go to sleep. You won't know what the problem is unless you talk to them though...and don't question them in their room. Take them into another room not associated with them sleeping and talk to them calmly.

Hi A.,
I skimmed the responses thus far and the only thing I can think of that I didn't see (sorry if it's already been said and I missed it) is that perhaps they need more than an hour nap? I know that when children are over-tired at bedtime it can be very hard for them to settle down to sleep. When mine were little I would try the old "I'll just keep them up or limit the nap because I want themt o go to bed early tonight so I can have a 'date night' with my husband" and it would backfire every single time. They would always go down easier and even sleep later the next morning when they'd had an adequate daytime nap. You may want to experiment with letting them nap as long as they like and then see what happens at bedtime. The crying may have become part of their bedtime routine at this point so it may take awhile for it to fade away. My 4-year-old went through a phase of wanting me to stay with her until she was asleep, which is impossible because I have 2 older children who still needed help with homework and stuff at that hour. She would cry and have a fit, so eventually we developed a routine of choosing a stuffed animal to sleep with and letting her talk to it/play with it in her bed for a few minutes after lights out. She never plays for more than 10 or 15 minutes before she falls asleep. I think it just helps her to have that security object to transition from being with me all day to being without me all night. Sorry I don't have more advice. Good luck!

WOW-- I have triplets and we had to "train" them to sleep. have you read Baby Wise? We did that with the 3 of them and it worked. No picking them up when they cried and so on. It sounds like you are doing everything you can, all I can say is let them cry. We separated ours to and that help with sleep time and naps, are they in separate rooms? That might help as well. There's also that Mobile type toy that has stars going around on the ceiling, I think? it's been a while since I was in that baby stage, please forgive my memory:) The mobile thing has no noise to it either. Hope this helps! We are always into one phase and out of another before I figure out whats coming next!

Good Luck,
K.

I think you're right...it's there own routine to cry. And of course they feed off each other. You're doing everything right. The only suggestion is explaining each step, which you may well be doing. "Now it's reading time, then we take a bath....Now it's bath time, then we hear music...Now we have music and go to sleep. Tomorrow we'll play and have fun." They will eventually stop, though I know it wears on you. Be glad they stay in their beds!

Have you tried checking on them? We tell our son that if he stays in bed mom or dad will check on him. Sometimes he is out in 10 minutes other nights we check on him. He does not cry in his room and that makes all of us happy.

My 2 year old does it, too. But then again, so did my now 4 year old and he sleeps fine now. It's a phase. I would just pick one method and stick with it. Eventually they will figure out that it's bedtime. I always try to remind myself that it's only because he loves us so much and misses our company. Do they have blankies? That helps, a little.
GOod luck, and don't worry.....they won't get to grade school acting that way!

I can't help I've never experianced twins. I can offer prayer. You will be in mine. Good luck. ;)

A.,
How frustrating for you! You must be as tired as they by bedtime. What time do they go to bed? It must be harder now as it is still light quite late. Since the crying really gets to you, I doubt you will succeed in letting them cry it out. You might want to talk to them about it during the day about how you are happy to sleep in your bed, how it must be delicious to sleep in their beds. Do they have a doll or animal who can be the object of the discussion?
The basis for most bedtime trauma is fear of separation from the parents so lots of reassurance that you will be there in the morning to wake them up and give them kisses and make breakfast. Super Nanny has the parents stay QUIETLY in the room, until they fall asleep. You might want to try that for a few nights. It will be hardest and longest the first night by the 3rd or 4th, they should be falling asleep quickly. Believe me, they will outgrow it, although it may seem like it is taking forever.
The night lights are also a good idea unless they throw shadows which are scary. I would leave the door open and a hall light on until they are asleep.
I would make a point of reading throughout the day to break the negative connotation with reading.
Good luck.
K.

I have 4 year old twins. They went through this stage too. I will say that it does sound like you have them in the same room (I have mine sharing a room as well) this does cause them to feed off each other.

1) make sure there is a night light or some other gentle light (nothing bright and distracting to sleep) in there room. They may be worried about being in the dark.

2) get a white noise machine or lullaby music that does not have words and put it on to replay all night (this can be very soothing to children as well as baies especially if you watch any movies or shows after they are in bed with lots of loud noises that can disturb their sleep)

3) randomly (not a routine time like every 15 or 30 min, make it longer some times and shorter others)go to their door and tell them that mommy and daddy hear them and that every thing is okay and that it is okay to go to sleep.

4) only let them out of bed if they need to use the bathroom or are sick. otherwise they have to stay in bed.

Keep in mind that some kids cry themselves to sleep as a phase and that no matter what you try it will take a few weeks for them to taper off of it.

With the time change it is now still light when my twins go to bed for a little bit. I will sometimes allow them (and only if they have been well behaved durig the day) to take a book to bed to look at until it gets too dark to see...This allows me to keep my bedtime ritual and allows them to realize I understand bedtime has changed a bit for them with the days lasting longer...

Good Luck... ;-)

I read the book Baby Wise three times and it did NOT work for me!

Suggestions: Keep the same bedtime routine every night - very important--e.g. dinner at 6, bath at 7, read book at 7:30, prayers and bed at 8. I would stay away from music, because that might even be stimulating them. One of my children doesn't like a lot of noise or music when she is tired. We have three children and crying it out just didn't work, because no one would get any sleep.

When your children nap, let them sleep as long as they need to and make certain it is early enough in the day, where it doesn't interfere with your nighttime routine. With three kids, I didn't have a set nap schedule, but looked for signs when they were tired. Sometimes their nap was longer than others, or earlier than other times. But I was a stickler regarding bedtime. I started dimming the lights around the house and they got the idea that it was approaching bedtime. The dr. told us not to lay down with them because if they wake up in the middle of the night, there will be a void (you not there). Every child is unique and individual.

Our oldest stopped naps altogether before she was two. I had tried everything and it was a waste to even attempt a nap. Your children may even be phasing out naps where they don't require a nap every day. Every child is unique and individual. No matter what all the books say, every child does not fit neatly into a particular category or set of guidelines.

Good Luck! Hang in there.

They've got you over a barrell and they know it. Everytime they cry you do something. Leave them alone and let them cry Totally ignore them (unless one cries until he throws up, then you'll have to take care of that). When they learn that they must stay in bed regardless, they'll soon get the point that you are in control, not them, and they'll go to sleep.