2Nd and Final Baby, Should We Find Out Gender??

In my family it's tradition to "wait". I have a large family and I'm the oldest and I have NEVER been a patient person.

:D :D :D So I am absolutely *thrilled* to find out the moment it's possible.

I have two and didn't find out with either. It really doesn't make things that hard to not find out. If I have a third, I think I am going to find out the gender because I want to have the experience of knowing just once. However, if I do find out, I'm not telling anyone else except my husband.

I have an only and we found out he was a boy. We just thought it was more practical. But that's me! ;-) Totally up to you. The miracle of birth is still a miracle even if you know what to expect.

I don't think it matters if you wait or not. You will be surprised. Either you will be surprised sooner, or surprised later, but you will have the same reaction whether it's sooner or whether it's later.

I wanted to know so bad with our youngest! We tried for 12 months to get pregnant with her and I was DYING to go shopping, so as soon as the sonotech asked us, I said, "I dreamed it was a girl last night" and she said that my dream was correct. We were overjoyed and went straight to the store after that and I let my husband pick out her very first outfit. It was cute. That was our choice, and you'll have yours, but it sounds like you want to know. :) Congrats on the newest addition!

Congratulations on your new baby!

There are so few surprises in this world. I love surprizes. If you find out the gender the only other surprise you will get is what the baby looks like.

FYI - my sister has 12 and for 2 of the twelve they totally got the gender wrong. Neice #3 should have been a boy and nephew #2 was supposed to be a girl. Imagine our surprise. :-)

It's totally your choice.

Just a question: Do you open your Christmas or birthday presents before the big day?

I did not find out with kids 2 and 3 but did with #1. It was SO SO SO much more exciting finding out the day they were born.

And if God intended us to know the gender of our children before they were born we would have been born with see through tummy's :)

Lisa

My personal opinion is not to find out. We chose not to with either of our children. I wanted to focus on a healthy pregnancy, and really, at the end of the day, it didn't matter if it was a boy or a girl. We couldn't change it, and I was going to love them the same either way.

If I'm lucky enough to have another child, I will not find out the gender either. Right after my second child's birth, I had to go through 5 months of chemotherapy, and it makes me appreciate the gift that they are that much more.

Good luck with your decision. I hope you make the right one for you.

Let my share our story with you.

In March of 2009, we had an 8 y/o daughter, a 5 y/o daughter as well as a 10 month old daughter. We found out we were expecting again and were completely caught off guard, to say the least. We knew with all 3 of the older ones that they were girls as soon as the sonogram would let us see. We knew that our 4th baby would be our last so we decided to not find out ahead of time. Keep in mind, this was a very hard thing for me to do for a few reasons....I'm not a patient person...I am a planner and need to know what is happening and how and when...we already had 3 girls in a 3 bedroom home and had just redecorated the (then) baby's room in true "girly" fashion, as well as bought all new gear...swing, car seat, stroller, everything...in pretty pink and girly patterns. We hadn't planned to have another child for quite a few years after our 3rd. I also had saved every bit of girl clothing we had ever bought (the salvagable stuff anyway, lol). We were totally set to have another girl...but if we had a boy, we were in trouble in my mind. We kept on though, and never found out...even through several late-term ultrasounds. I chose a handfull of "girl" sleepers and onesies to take to the hospital. I also bought one 3-pack of and one 5-pack of "boy" sleepers and onesies and one of each in yellow. I chose one girl outfit and one boy outfit and left the tags on them and kept the receipts. I also bought one of each baby book so we could do foot prints in the hosptal. We had a scheduled c-section (all 3 of the older kids were sections as well) and I can not tell you how much excitement was in the air. It is so unheard of anymore for parents to not find out the sex before the birth so all of the nurses and doctors were over-the-moon with excitement. All of my births were memorable, but let me tell you, the birth of my 4th child and my only SON will forever be seared into my memory. To hear the entire room squeel in unison "ITS A BOY!!" was absolutely incredible...to say the least. I have very few things in my life that I can say I wish I had done differently, but I will honestly tell you that if I had it to do all over again, I would have waited with all 4 of them :)

It's really a matter of when you want your surprise - now or later.

You know that back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, nobody knew if a baby was a boy or a girl until the birth, and then everybody found out at the same time. So that's the traditional system. My older son and his wife decided to do that, and we were all surprised (and delighted) together by their three girls.

Some of my other children have decided to find out early and let everyone know in advance. We have a little grandson on the way; although we know he's a boy, his parents are keeping his name a secret for now, so his nickname is Elvis. I have made them promise that it is not going to be his REAL name!

I have the same issue right now. We have a 15 month old boy and are expecting our 2nd (final baby, 2 is plenty for us). I can't wait to read all the answers becasue my hubby wants to know and I don't :)

I didn't find out with my first one and I won't find out with any future. Due to circumstances we too shared a room for awhile giving me time to work on a room after baby was born. There was an extra excitment in the room to find out. As soon as grandparents found out what the baby was, they brought LOTS of clothes to the hospital. By the time I got home I had enough clothes in gender color to get through the first 6 months.

I found out with both of mine and was glad I did. It gave me time to adjust to whatever I found out (I'm a planner...even if not planning a nursery, just in "mindset"). If I didn't find out, I'd be dealing with twice as many "what ifs". I also felt like knowing helped me bond with the baby before it was born. If we have a third (2nd was supposed to be our last, but now not so sure =0) I'll find out again. We do not use or share the name with anyone before birth though!

I was so happy to know what sex I was having before they were born. I felt more 'connected' to the baby because my husband and I called the baby by name (once we had a name). With my last baby, my boys also were able to 'connect' with her before birth because they always said, 'When Samantha is here....."

So I am all for knowing the sex. I don't think it lessens the joy. But I got to admit I am not big on surprises. I like to be ultra prepared for everything!

Congratulations on being pregnant!

I loved being surprised with my daughter. Yes, we had to come up with two names, and just called her the baby until the big day, but I have no regrets being surprised the day of. As for clothes, we were given a lot of girl clothes and you can always add a pink top or bottom to any hand me down boy clothes. She doesn't care what she wears, but I did go out when she was about a week (c-section too) to get some girly tops since everyone called her a boy with her brother's clothes. :)

We did not find out with our first. We wanted the surprise and it was WONDERFUL!

We did find out with our second (knowing it would probably be our last). And that was WONDERFUL and exciting too!

Go with your gut. I do know of one family where the mom wanted to know and the dad didn't. Somehow they made that work for them and they were both glad they did it that way. The mom (who knew) just hid the things she bought that would have let the dad in on the secret that he didn't want to know yet.

Hello K.. I plan to NOT find out when I have my second baby in a few years. The only reason we found out what we were having the first time, was because my husband wanted to know. I didn't. So I told him that since he got his way the first time, now it's my turn. I just think it will be a neat experience and a real surprise. It may be a little hard at the beginning since you haven't planned for a certain sex, but I think it would be worth it anyway. Good luck to you!

i waited to find out with my second, it was SOOOOO worth it. I was in tears when i met her. I had a baby shower that was gender neutral with preggo mommy and pickle and ice cream decorations, People got me light beige and brown things, and gift cards. The day after i had her i was more than thrilled to go get pink and purple stuff to accentuate the beige and brown. But blue and green would have done nicely for a boy.

I would never change my decision to wait, and if i had it to do again i would do it the same way.

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I only have one but thought it was nice to know that I was having a boy. Tommy's, Dad was happy and cried when he found out he was having a son. My Dad, cried too when I told him. Boy, what a good reaction I had from the two most important men in my life at the time. If you do not want to know and your husband does,they could tell him and not you if you want to be surprised. Good luck and congrats.

We didn't find out with one of ours, and it really was fun! Everyone thought we knew, and we didn't, so it was a game for everyone! There are plenty of outfits and bedding that are gender neutral without being green or yellow. My mother went to pick out her coming home outfit and a few pink things after she was born. It was fun though. I could have SWORN I was having a boy, but, she surprised us! :)

I think you should do whatever is best for you. However, I just want to mention that before I found out I was having a girl with my second pregnancy I got a lot of "gender neutral" stuff but then I regretted some of it because my first was a boy and I really wanted to buy a lot of cute girly things this time around. Just think about the fact that this is your last baby and if it is a girl you may feel like you want to go all out with girly stuff....so if you don't find out the gender you may want to really hold off on buying too many things.

I'm too curious. I like to find out all I can as soon as I can.

I can't believe no one has posted this yet. It's a little bit of planning but it would be a really fun way to find out with your son and other family and friends. I have not done this but it sounds like a great compromise.

If the nurse or doc that does the sonogram is POSITIVE which sex it is, ask them to put the info in a sealed envelope. Then you take it to a bakery, and ask them to dye the cake part either pink or blue, according to what's in the envelope, then frost it neutrally. Then you gather everyone up and cut the cake and everyone is surprised, but in advance! And you get to have cake!
That you didn't have to make!

Or I guess you could just open the envelope with everyone...

I didn't find out with either of mine, but we had a gender neutral plan for a nursery that we loved, so that wasn't an issue. The clothes part is a small issue. People will love to bring you little girl clothes if you need them.

Aww. Tracey G.'s idea is adorable. I love it!
For us we have found out both times. I have absolutely no regrets.
We made the u/s day very special both times...breakfast and baby clothes shopping afterwards. At both appt.'s I cried and laughed w/ joy.
I have wonderful memories from both days.
I was a little in shock after my 1st baby was born, but happy.
After my 2nd I was so emotional and cried in pure love (it was a long road to baby #2 for us).
So, for me I have 4 wonderful days to look back on and I wouldn't change it for anything.
HTH!

I loved the surprise. We didn't find out with our first or second. We found out with the third and it was a big let down. It's nice to know we are having a girl after 2 boys, but it really was more fun not knowing.

i have done both and i totally LOVED having a surprise!!!!!!!!! it made the moment of meeting my baby so much more wonderful!! DO IT!!

I waited to find out my daughters sex. Their was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be surprised on her birthday. I did get a lot of yellow at the baby shower, but I got an outfit in blue and an outfit in pink to bring with me to the hospital and that is what I took her home in, returned the blue later. We didn't decorate any rooms because she is in our room.
It was the best surprise ever though, and I would do it with all my children!

I did not find out with my first but did find out with my second. I wanted to know because of the room situation, clothes, etc. It was fine to know but if I had it to do over again, I'd probably be surprised again, because it is just so so much fun to hear the "it's a girl!" "it's a boy!" Honestly, even though I ended up with two girls the baby stayed in our room the first year anyway, so it didn't matter ; ) Whatever, you decide is fine but in my opinion having done both ways, it is so much fun NOT to know!

We found out with both of our daughters, and I have no regrets at all. My philosophy is it is still a surprise...just earlier!

I haven't read all the responses.....

With our first, we did not know until his birth.

With our second, I didn't want to know, DH did. We had extra ultrasounds with #2 because of increased risk of Down Syndrome. When they did the last ultrasound my husband found out but didn't tell me. The Dr.'s office even whited out the sentence of the ultrasound report that told the baby's gender, xeroxed it, and sent us the xeroxed copy so I couldn't tell.

At one point my DH thought he ahd inadvertebtkly spilled the beans by referring to baby as "him", but I didn't pick up on it.

TOTALLY loved waiting until the birth, would do it that way again in a heartbeat!!

Congrats on your new little one!

K. Z.

Hi K.,
I say yes do find out!! (wether you choose to tell anyone else is up to you) My 4th baby, I didn't find out and still wish I would have. I already had 3 boys, baby 4 ia a girl!! my husband was supposed to go buy an outfit to bring her home in but instead he asked my mom to. So she took son #2 and they brought a blue dress to me, ugh!!! I had 3 boys, I wanted pink or purple, something pretty and girly. one of the girls that I worked with came to my rescue and brought a pink outfit to me so that was what I brought her home in. I am not big on green yellow & neutral either.
Good Luck to you & enjoy that new baby!!
L.

I have 5 children and we found out with every one of them. I have absolutely NO regrets. It really was wonderful to connect to the baby in that way. As one other poster stated, we started calling the baby by his or her name as soon as we knew and had a name. And if was wonderful for the other children to call the baby by his or her name.
As for the "presents" equation, I got that from a lot of friends. But we aren't talking about a birthday or Christmas present. We are talking about a baby. This wonderful little human that you are meeting for the first time.
Either way, I think it will be wonderful. Do what works for your family. You are the only ones that really know what that is.
Mostly, congrats on this amazing little person that you will soon meet!