I am currently going through a divorce. I felt it was necessary to move out of my house due to mental distress. I was unable to care for my daughter as my health deteriorated to the point where I was unable to pick her up and was passing out. I am not doing well with the transition. Also, my dauther is begining to throw fits fairly often. I am unable to tell if it is due to her age, or if the transition is hard on her also. Any advise on how to deal with the transition for myself and my daughter?
Divorce is difficult on the child as well as the adults. It's going to take time for her to adjust as her entire world has just been turned upside down. If she sees you having issues with it it's going to distress her even more. I would suggest getting into counseling and/or a support group...atleast you'll be able to vent. Also keep in mind that the home has changed so she needs to test and see if the rules have changed as well.
It might not hurt to try and get some counseling for you and your daughter. My daughters were very young when their father and I divorced, in fact I was pregnant with my youngest daughter (now 16 yrs) at the time. I found tha counseling and support groups helped us re-connect with each other and help us with what we were going through at the time. If you need anything or if I can help in any way, email me at ____@____.com. I don't know where you are spiritually but that somnetimes helps too. I am an ordained minister if you need someone, you and your daughter will be in my prayers.
I was married to a total jerk for almost 7 years, and had 3 kids by him. He cheated on me with my best friend, and later I found out, several others. The mental stress was horrible. When I was having my gallbladder removed at 6 months pregnant with our autistic child, he was at this girl's house. I was in surgery and no one could find him. Well anyway once the divorce was final, things got so much better. My kids threw the fits too, but once we were moved to our apartment where there was no more fighting, and all my time was focused on repairing the damage done during my marriage, the fits stopped. The kids were so much happier. And I got my life back too! I was so afraid I'd be lonely, but there wasn't any time. I had a new home to take care of by myself (even though it was in a low-income project, I was still so proud to be on my own). I could do whatever I wanted with no one breathing down my neck. Last year I married the love of my life, a wonderful man with no children of his own, who took me on as a single mother with 4 children. Things happen for a reason! Just please don't go back to this guy, no matter what. Your health is way more important! And your self-esteem and your well=being! Things will get better. And what better time to think about going back to school, getting a new hobby, or something?? There are good guys out there, not that you need one to be whole. There's so much I could say!! You can email me if you want, at ____@____.com in WV too!! Not far from you, I don't think!! WAY COOL!!
i would suggest some family couseling. it would do you both a world of good to be able to talk openly about your feelings and get honest feedback and advice from an unbiased third person...many churches offer counseling for free or on a sliding scale.
I would see a doctor. They can help you come up with ways to relax. I am very sorry to hear that you are going through that. Your main focus now should be you and your daughter. Just remember to take some time for yourself. If you can't function due to stress it will take a toll on her also. Talk to your doctor and see what they have to say. It will get better. Trust me. It all seems so bad but everything will work out just fine. You have a wonderful daughter to love you. That is all you need!! :)
Hi. I too am going through a divorce and it is never easy...but you will learn and grow in ways you never imagined.
Your daughter is probably picking up on your anxiety and stress....that along with the transition and her age are probably the main issues.
Try to have a set schedule for her as much as possible, which will help her cope better with the transition. When you have time, read or sing to her, and hold her more.
Often when we are stressed out we are mentally somewhere else.
I know that connecting with my own child is harder to do when I am stressed, and it's hard because no one's there to pick up the slack. I get worried about bills or child care or work or the divorce...there's always something. But you have to make yourself stay grounded.
You are all she has and she's all you have right now.
I promise it will get better. Just stay strong.
My email is ____@____.com if you ever need to talk or need help.
God bless you and your daughter.
