2.5Yr Old Not Listening

Updated on March 06, 2008
A.M. asks from Irvine, CA
5 answers

The last few days especially, my son has been ignoring me when i ask him a question or to do something. He thinks its funny and will laugh. I have tried time outs and i have tried talking to him about it. I am at my wits end with him. an example...He will run away from me if we are walking out to the car and laugh while he is doing it. I will ask him to come to mommy please, and he refuses...completely ignores me. I will count to three...and nothing. (i have tried to keep walking in my direction and ignore his behavior and he will not follow me)When i chase after him and get him to get into the car, i will tell him that what he did was naughty and he needs to listen to mommy. I have told him that he has made a bad choice and tell him what good choices would be. I dont know what to do. I have tried staying consistent with him and it still has no response with him. I'm sure its his age, but if there is anyone that has any advice that would be great! Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your advice. It is great hearing what other people's opinions are. I am going to try and get away with my husband...we actually have been talking about for a while. I think it is time that we do it!
Again thank you and i will try and keep consistent with discipline :)

More Answers

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E.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's not called the "terrible twos" for nothing. He actually sounds pretty tame compared with what I went through with my little one, who is now 3. My daughter would shriek and cry all the way home, run away into the street constantly and ignore everything I said too.

She threw stuff; I often dragged her kicking and crying from places like the park, Chuck E. Cheese, supermarkets, you name it. I actually dreaded taking her out anywhere, and forget about restaurants altogether. But then she suddenly became 3, and is superangelic, a real little companion.

My theory is that they are caught between thinking they are the masters of their universe and have more awareness of the world and are excited by everything in it, but they lack the communication skills to tell you what they want, or the comprehension to fully grasp what you want from them.

I think you are basically doing well with it by keeping your commands very basic, offering him simple choices with consistent repercussions. I remember trying to get my daughter to do time out for two minutes and having to constantly place her back in the time out spot.

Good luck, you don't have far to go...

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Amen:
Michelle A.
Now thats a Mama,that has it together! You know, your going to get all different advice here,and you most likely will do some research on the internet,maybe even do some reading on the subject...But...When all is said and done,YOU just have to use what common sense our good lord gave ya,and just follow your instincts.I wish more mothers thought the way Michelle did. You have to try and put yourself in that toddlers shoes sometimes.You know, We all have our good days and bad,and we're all intitled,to spout off once in a while...What sort of individuals whould we be, if we weren't allowed to release some of our anger and frustrations? Why should our children be expected to hold all that in? What would we be,if we just did what ever we were told? We wouldn't be ourselves,and either would our children.Soooo Yes,A time out for mommy,or daddy is a (very good Idea)I've always believed,that freting about the (Little things) is such a waste of time and energy..I save that for the big doosies to come! Best of luck to you

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J.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

It sounds as if you are talking about my son here! I can TOTALLY relate and I am still dealing with it and my son just turned 3. I suppose it has gotten a little better because he now holds my hand in parking lots and he listens a little better now. I think a lot of it is the age, he will grow out of it. In the meantime, just keep being firm about the consequences if he disobeys you and stick to them. When my son runs away from me, I yell STOP! He has finally learned what that means, and most of the time he does stop. The times he doesn't though, I run after him and when I catch up to him, I make him sit down, wherever we are, and do a time out. This seems to work. I, too, have a 6 month old and I know how challenging it can be when my son runs off and I am holding my baby, that's always fun. Good luck! I am interested to read what others say because I could always use some advice too!

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A.N.

answers from San Diego on

Responses are great so far, I agree with them all too.
:-) YOU are the boss - you tell him (ONLY when you really need to) WHAT to do.
Make these things count.
You have a strong tone, very firm and not chasing after him or playing or explaining what his choices might be ... NOT when its discipline issue.

He will not laugh when he gets consequences. He will cry! Sorry, but it's one or the other. I prefer that he gets it that you are boss and dislikes it a bit occasionally, than ends up under the wheels of a car.

SO You reinforce your demands STRONGLY no matter were you are, but ONLY if they are important. OK?
The rest of the time you can be the sweetest most democratic Mommy in the world and ask his co operation as much as you want - if it doesn't matter!!
:-)
When it's urgent DONT say please, or please listen to me to him. Dear God, he's TWO!
I get so frustrated that Moms and Dads don't get the basic training that I got as a teacher!!
Don't be so PC. The ghastly results of namby pamby parenting are all around us.
He's big enough for you to sweep up bodily with a great big 'NO! I SAID STOP!' and a Time Out
- and thats what he needs to get.

Good Luck.
He wont be upset for long, and once he gets that you are She Who Must Be Obeyed - you can have lots of fun and less to worry about.

ps
One of my fave Mommy's says:
I'M GOD - AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED!!
And has a marvellous relationship with her son (now 13)

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M.A.

answers from Las Vegas on

I stepped back one day and seriously thought about it. I am at my witts end telling my son what to at every minute of everyday. I could only guess he was getting sick of hearing me bark orders at him, constantly telling him no and taking things away from him he can't play with. After awhile its going to go in one ear and out the other, taking what I said and throwing it away like a parking ticket. I decided we both needed a break.

I would arrange for either a family member or a friend to babysit him for a weekend so he can be with other people, and then my husband and I can do some grown up things. When I picked him up he was refreshed, as was I. Think of it I guess as a long realxing time out. Best of luck!

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