2.5 Year Old Won't Give up Booby

Get some friends together and go away for a long weekend! By the time you get back, you should not have any milk coming in and hopefully she will have gotten thru without a problem.

Ugh. Terrible twos and nursing too.
I think it's time to reclaim your body.
Just accept she's going to scream - pass out the ear plugs to everyone who needs them - and then let her scream.
Yeah, those higher notes will make your teeth itch - so have a glass of wine to anesthetize yourself to get through it.
It might take a few days or maybe longer - but it won't hurt her to cry this out.
Offer her other comforts - or have Hubby do it - but the Mama Moo Dairy Fairy is CLOSED.
She'll get over it eventually.
It's tough to learn you can't have everything your way - but it's something we all learn sooner or later.
The twos are tough anyway - you might as well get through this now.
I understand extended breast feeding but I don't think it's cool to be breast feeding (really, you're a pacifier at this point) till they go to kindergarten.
She's a big girl now - big girls move on to other things and don't need Mom's boobs anymore.

Try changing the routine. Just like when a smoker tries to quit they have to remove themselves from the routines that make them want to smoke. Instead of settling down to nurse first thing in the morning pack a breakfast to go and head right outside for a walk to the park. Instead of doing the usual bedtime routine have someone else do it who can't nurse, like dad. As long as my kids were distracted by other things they weren't interested in sitting down to nurse.

i really have a hard time understanding questions like this.
yes, strong-willed children can be challenging. yes, establishing new boundaries for them can be jaw-clenching for the entire family.
but she's TWO. she has no frame of reference for deciding if or how long she gets to nurse. she does not yet have the reasoning capacity to make decisions that affect both you and the rest of the family.
helplessness in the face of a toddler's determination does not bode well.
YOU decide when and how much you're willing to nurse, and YOU set the boundaries. screaming is an appropriate response for a frustrated toddler who does not yet understand the boundaries.
she won't learn to understand and accept the boundaries if they are soft and cave in at her first squeal.
it will suck for everyone while the new boundaries are tested and explored. but if you are firm and understanding and loving and FIRM, she will accept (and appreciate although the appreciation won't be expressed) knowing how far she can push.
do not allow yourself to make decisions based on a two year old's badgering.
khairete
S.

I didn't have this problem, but I'll talk to you about it anyway because there are other moms who have answered this question for several years, and I remember what they have said.

Your child knows what an ouchie is. She knows what bandaids are for. Put bandaids on your nipples and tell her that mommy has ouchies. Walk away.

In the middle of the night, you're just going to have to practice tough love. If you STOP giving in to her, she will finally stop waking up in the middle of the night. I would let her cry it out until she "gets" that crying doesn't help. I know it's hard on the family, but your strong-willed darling isn't giong to give up if you don't.

She's 2.5, can't sleep through the night, and cannot self-soothe? She's learned to cry/scream to get her way because you eventually give in? This is not going to end well!!

Point 1: she's sleep deprived and not getting the brain development she needs. You're actually hurting her more by allowing this to continue. You are also sleep deprived, and you should not be driving a car or doing anything else dangerous until you get some uninterrupted sleep.

Point 2: What's next when she wants something? Wait until she wants an expensive toy at 5 or a cell phone at 9 or a car at 16 - she'll be screaming then!

Take 3 days on a long weekend, and yes, everyone will have a couple of rough nights, and it will be over with. Better that everyone have 2-3 tough nights than your 2.5 year old continue to not have deep, restful sleep. Research the Ferber method (which is NOT "let them scream/cry all night, by the way) although it's more for infants than for a child this age. Use the bandaids if you want, send in your husband if you want, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you and her father agree on a strategy and that no one (NO ONE!) caves out of exhaustion. There is NO nursing anymore at night. Period. Maybe not during the day either.

Tough love, Mama. You can do this.

What I did was a combination of child-lead and momma-nudged. If she asked, I would allow her to nurse, but I didn't remind her. At night, I slowly made each session shorter and shorter. She learned "just a little bit". Then one night she latched for about 10 seconds and was done. After a year old, they can begin to understand manners. For example, don't lift momma's shirt in the store. What you can also do is give her a bedtime snack and see if she can get through the night, or if it's comfort vs hunger, can you send someone else in to tuck her back in?

Kellymom.com was my guidebook for so many nursing issues. You may find good tips for weaning there. It took several months for us to ease down to being fully weaned. My daughter was 2.5.

Let us know how it goes :) just reading this now. B your response made me chuckle!

I didn't nurse past 11 months or so, so that part I can't relate to, but mine had soothers. And they had hit the tantrum stage (only one, my eldest. The other kids I got rid of them sooner).

I just found I said "They broke" and the screams and fits I was prepared for (and had psyched myself up for) never happened.

I was just consistent. I didn't break down. I didn't cave. He accepted it.

I even had a soother with a hole in it (a good chunk removed) and showed it to him. So when Doris mentions putting bandaids on (that made me laugh) I do get it. Some kids at that age benefit from a visual sign that it's over.

I agree with Suz too - you're the parent and so long as you're loving, you can be very firm. As firm as you need to be. Firm is fine if it's done with love. You can comfort her in other ways, but you don't give in. I also like the advice of having a change of routine.

Good luck and let us know how it goes :)

My daughter was like this when it was time to give up the pacifier at nights! She would scream and cry and carry on like life was ending till we gave in. We talked about it, we read books about it, we told her she was too big now...then we just had to go cold turkey. Yes, she carried on like a crazy banshee. It sucked. But we didn't give in and I would snuggle with her through her anger and sadness. It took that kid 3 entire weeks before she finally got used to it. It was really hard. Some kids you just have to be very black and white and not give in. They are persistent but you have to be more so!

Thanks everyone. Great advice and support. Looks like Mama needs to get more tough. Just to clarify I don't really think she is sleep deprived . When I said she occasionally wakes in the night and wants to nurse I mean occasionally like once a week or once every two weeks or maybe if she has a cold . If she was doing it all the time I probably would have done something about it by now but since it's not very often I've been letting it go but it's clear that something needs to change

ooh man...this is tough. I nursed my oldest son until he was 2.5 - and then I was pregnant with my other son and told him I couldn't nurse him anymore. It also helped that we were going to potty train him so I didn't have two kids under 3 in diapers...told him he needed to be a big boy now.

We changed the routine. Instead of MY reading him a book before bed, Daddy did.
Instead of MY getting him up in the morning - Daddy did. It took about 2 weeks and all was good.

Change up your routing.
DO NOT give in to her screams. No means No. She needs to learn it and understand it.

She is old enough that you can probably reason with her just a little bit, in that you can make up a story and she will understand what you're saying. I know people that tell their toddlers that the milk dried up and that works. I have heard of some putting bandaids on their nipples and telling the kids they were injured and couldn't nurse anymore.

Consider taking her to the store to buy something special that can help comfort her in place of nursing - a soft teddy bear, a doll, a snuggly blanket, whatever she may like. Give her a day or two of warning that it's coming. Tell her that, starting Tuesday, she cannot nurse anymore, but she gets to go to the toy store and pick out a very special toy in exchange.

Absolutely no more nursing in the middle of the night, even if you decide to keep the morning and bedtime routine for a little while longer. She has to be able to fall asleep again without needing to nurse for comfort first.

You're in for a few rough days and nights, but it sounds like you really need to stop now for your own sake. Finally, once you do it, don't go back. If you skip even one morning, that's it - never again in the mornings. Otherwise, she'll get mixed messages and won't stop crying for it. Good luck.

I know friends that nursed longer. Same times too.

With kids like this I wonder if they'd have been given a pacifier to suck on if they'd be those kids that can't give them up.

Some kids just need to suck. They have a biological urge to suck and if they con't have what they want they find something else to suck, like the corner of a blanket, their thumb, fingers, a toy, etc...

It's what you want that you have to decide to do. I agree that having someone else take care of the kiddo in these situations will help. Tell dad that he has to get up with her and put her to bed and get her up for breakfast OR have Mom/MIL come visit where you and hubby can go out of town for a long weekend. By the time you get back she should be done. Then you have to let dad handle her the first few days/nights and she'll get the message.

I happened to break my wrist and was on narcotic pain killers. I just told my then 33 month old daughter that the doctor told me I couldn't nurse because of the medication. At almost 3 I could reason with her.😬😆

Good luck! I know it is really difficult to stop.