D.K.
Have you tried having her tested for touch sensitivity? Some people are born with an extra sensitivity to anything binding, or pushing against their skin. I think my older son has a touch of this since he's always thrown a fit if his clothes aren't laying perfectly smooth against his skin and loose and comfy. That could be part of her problem. Maybe try the softest diapers you can find and go up one size so they're not tight anywhere (yeah she'll probably leak, but at least most of it will get caught), and then try letting her sleep in just the diaper but have a waterproof pad underneath and an extra crib sheet on standby.