21 Month Old Not Sleeping!

Updated on April 21, 2009
K.H. asks from Mankato, MN
5 answers

Our kids have been sleeping through the night pretty consistently (other than illness or other out of the ordinary situation) for many months. For the last week, our son has been up at least once every night. He doesn't want milk, water, clean diaper... he just wants to cuddle. He will not go back to bed until he is sound asleep, which can take a couple of hours. If he falls asleep but isn't completely out and we try to put him back in his bed he immediately starts to scream. We've tried letting him "cry it out" but that has lasted over an hour and eventually he wakes up his twin sister, and we end up dealing with two crying toddlers and cuddling with him anyway.

He's not one that will be satisfied with a little back rub. He wants to be held, and anything else only makes him madder. Does anyone have any thoughts on this one?? I'm sure time will eventually make it pass, but in the meantime I've got bags under my eyes and I'm getting pretty cranky!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the thoughts and really just the encouragement that we'd make it through! We never really figured out what his issue was, but after about 2-3 weeks he started only waking up around 5am (frustrating when you get up at 5:45 normally!!!) then returned to his normal schedule. So, thanks but as I suspected it was just TIME that was needed!

More Answers

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M.H.

answers from Lincoln on

My daughter also did this a little bit before she turned 2. She had slept through the night since I brought her home from the hospital but all of a sudden every night she was fighting sleep and it drove me crazy! I did let her sleep in my bed for about a week and after that I put her back in her crib. She still had a problem falling asleep for a little bit, but I think she learned that I wasn't going to do anything about it and she finally went back to her normal way of going right to bed. I definitely think it's just a phase, they're exploring and they would rather be doing that than sleeping. They don't want to miss anything! Hope this helps and good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Bismarck on

I've got twin girls that are also almost two. Also both pretty good sleepers. Sleeping through the night from 4 months on. There has always been a bit of crying when we leave the room for naps and night and the occasional cries at night though. We've never picked them up at night once we realized that there were indeed both going to really sleep through the night and weren't hungry when they woke up. They did think we should pick them up when they cried at night in the beginning, but eventually accepted that we were only going to rub their backs and then leave. There was much crying when we'd leave for many nights and I admit that sometimes I would go in and lie on the floor just to get them to go back to sleep, although I don't recommend that.

Our new problem started with Macy who, about a month ago, started not going to bed at night. She'd scream for a half hour to 45 minutes and we'd have to keep going back in and reassuring her. She woke up her twin a couple times and then I decided I just had to stay out so she would know I wasn't coming back in. I did that a few times (it was horrible, both of them sobbing to sleep) and finally, completely by accident I came upon the solution. I left the door open after I left the room. We've never left the door open, but one night I just left it open about half way and she went right to sleep. She apparently developed a fear or anxiety about it and now all is well again. Not sure what help that will be to you, but sometimes it helps just to hear someone else's story. Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Green Bay on

Does he have his 2 year old molars? If not, are they coming in?

My 15 month old has not slept consistently through the night since he was about 6 months old mostly due to the fact that all his teeth started coming in. He's got hard bumps where his 2 year old molars should be, and is desperately trying to stick anything he can in his mouth all the way to where they are. I'm fairly certain his irregular sleeping is due to his molars coming in now since he has all the rest of his baby teeth.

So if he doesn't have them yet, that could be the problem. Our little one exhibits the same kind of behavior - 2 hours or so, middle of the night, won't sleep except when held... Sometimes Tylenol seems to help, sometimes it doesn't.

It will pass. It will pass. It will pass. I say that as much for you as for me! It's my mantra right now.

Hope you get some sleep soon. ;-)

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L.R.

answers from Madison on

Maybe his nap is too long. When my first son was one year old, he would wake up and be up for a couple of hours. Then I noticed this would happen when he napped more than 2 hours in the afternoon. I limited his naps to 2 hours (except when he was sick or in a growth spurt) and the problem disappeared.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

is there something wrong with cuddling him? i mean obviously, you cant sit in a chair all night long and cuddle him, but cant you have him lay with you in your bed, or have a bed of sorts for him in your room? maybe he just needs that closeness for a while.

the most important thing we need to do as parents is trust ourselves. you and dad are the only ones who know your children. no one else has the closeness that you do. its possible that you already know the solution, but are afraid to do it because of others "rules" and "ideas" about parenting. trust me, the less you listen to outside advice and the more you listen to your own instincts and your children's needs, the happier you will be, and hte more confident you will be later. and trust me, when and if the more difficult twos start (i dont believe in the terrible twos) you will be able to tell why they are throwing a tantrum instead of wondering whats up this time.....

go with it. you know what to do, what will work best for your family!

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