20Mth Old Getting Out of Control

Well, we had the biting issue with one of my step sons. My husband said "bite him back." I did not do it for the longest time, until it became a big issue, then i did it one day. No, I did not like doing it, but hey--he never bit again.

As for him climbing and getting into stuff--welcome to being a mother of BOYS!!!!! They are climbers and usually dont like to listen.

I know this is not much help, but you can email or IM me anytime if you would like

Take care and good luck

most toddlers act out because they do not have the ability to express their emotions verbally. just be consistant with the discipline...hitting/biting...firmly tell him no! we don't do that. when you catch him climbing...firmly place him back on the ground and tell him again...no! we don't do that. consistancy is the key...he will get the picture. when he acts out, try to empathise with him a little...i know you are angry right now, but we can't have a treat till after dinner. I know you want that toy, but so & so is playing with it. you have wait your turn. It takes time and patience, but the terrible 2's will ease up.

I don't really have any advice but I have a 2 year old daughter who is also out of contol. She hits, bites, scratches and generally just does not listen. We have tried everything to. She has been like this for at least a year. SHe is just so aggressive and will hurt people for no reason. Let me know if you find something that works. In the meantime, if you want to talk you can e-mail me at ____@____.com.
M.

hi D., in the case of the biting. you my think that it is extreme, but this is what i did and my little girl never bit again. I BIT HER BACK!!!! not to easy but not so hard that it left marks. just hard enough to make her cry and to realize that it hurts and it's not nice to bite. it was the first and onlt time that she ever did that.

Plug cover thingy's don't work...believe it or not if you can't get it out of the wall...ask you 20 month old to take it out for you..his little fingers are just the right size. Instead I would change the face plate for the plugs to the ones that you have to use the plug it'self to open it...you can find them at any hardware store. Most times the hitting and biting happen out of anger or frustration. At his age he doesn't have the vocabulary to express his frustration in an effective manner, so it frustrates and angers him more and he lashes out. I give mine a time out for hitting or biting in anger (time out consistes of holding him in my lap so he can't move for a couple minutes as he really hates sitting still), if you can identify that's out of frustration then ask him "are you frustrated? let me help you" and then procede to assist him with what he was trying to do...after a while as he gains more speach, he'll learn to say he's frustrated and needs help.

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. One of my 16 month old twins is a climber as well. The only thing I know at this point is that children of this age do not understand consequences, or have any impulse control. They will not have this understanding until about age three. At least that is what all the experts say. So, I don't have any advice on what exactly to do, but I can tell you what not to do. It is a waste of your time and energy to punish, or time out, etc. It just won't work at this age. The only thing I can do with mine, is distract, distract, distract. Constantly diverting his attention to something that is exciting, but safe.

Time outs and definately spanking won't work at this age! The best thing to do is say "no" firmly EVERY SINGLE TIME. Saying it 10 times in a row and then not saying it just one time means you are starting back over from zero again. Consistency is key. Say "no" and then redirect. Bring out a book, or sit down on the floor and pay with him/her for a few minutes. If he/she is jumping/climbing on furniture. Tell him "not here" and move him to where it is appropriate. If he's ripping up your magazine, remove it and hand him a board book. The best advice I ever had from an early childhood teacher was to put a small climbing structure (like the Kangaroo Climber) in our house. It's in the family room. My kids are constantly climbing on it and NOT on the kitchen counters, furniture, etc. Toddlers are curious.. he is is not 'disobeying' you when he repeatedly does these things, he simply doesn't know better. You need to completely child-proof a few rooms of your house so you don't have to tell him 'no' in those rooms. The less you tell him more, the more he'll listen when you 'mean it' (like running into the street). This probably means removing some furniture, all knick-knacks, bookshelves, etc from the room. Do it -- for your own sanity.

Welcome to the terrible twos. Consistancy works the best. Try rewarding good behavior and not showing that yuo are really upset when he is bad. Set limits now, becuase it is going to be even harder to control him when he gets older if he is used to getting his way. Good luck